enforcement order with parent alienation advice

[Rachel997]

Hi everyone,

I've been a bit of a lurker in the background and honestly have so much respect for everyone here. I have seen the impact that this has had on my husband and it's been such a tough time.

I am the step mum to 2 girls aged 13 and 11 that we currently have no contact with. it's been 6 months since last contact but we do have very strong evidence that they are being lied to and the mother is alienating them against us but mainly their dad.
we had a court order and in Nov last year applied for an enfacement order. we put in a strong position statement at the first hearing and the mother did not submit anything or turn up.
The magistrate's were pretty awesome to be honest, they explained that we had to rebook the first hearing but as they could see the issues they have also instructed a section 7 with Parent alienation to be considered by CAFCASS. They have ordered the mother to put in a position statement as from everything said so far (including the CAFCASS safeguarding call) they cannot see a reason why she has stopped contact.
we received the paperwork today and it is saying both parties are to submit a position statement setting out out proposals for the children's contact, living arrangements and any other relevant issue.
does anyone know if we need to re-submit our position statement already completed with additional information to include the court requested info or do we do another one on top of the position statement we have already submitted?
thanks guys - I appreciate that you might not know the answer but I thought I'd put it out there just in case. seems a bit of an odd one.

 

[Daddy]

I would edit your existing position statement to include the additional information.
I would also make reference to the fact that you already submitted a ps for the FHDRA and she didn't attend.

I do this when hearings are adjourned etc and think it's better to give a judge a single document, that is up to date. You can always take a copy of the old ps to court just in case but chance are you won't need it.

I've had hearings where judges haven't even read my ps, I asked half way through one hearing and they hadn't been given a copy, so watch out for that one.

 

[Rachel997]

Thank you. That makes a lot of sense

 

[Ash]

Yes you do another position statement. A position statement "updates the position" so it's anything that has happened since the last one, plus anything else you want to say. It specifically seems to be asking for proposals for child arrangements ongoing.

So I would write a new one. You can include anything you want from the previous one but I wouldn't copy and paste directly. You can also update that the Mother failed to attend the enforcement hearing.

My concern about this situation is it's being dragged out. The Magistrates may have been nice but delay is harmful to the child. A section 7 will take ages!

I think I'd be looking at submitting a C2 for an urgent directions hearing with a District Judge saying the Mother must attend the hearing. And request that, at the C2 she is required to follow the existing order.

If she doesn't turn up at that one, then you could ask for transfer of residency maybe. There was a case a while back where a Mother failed to attend 3 hearings and actually refused, and the Judge transferred residency.

My concern is the timescale. You haven't seen the kids for 6 months. It could be another 6 months by the time a section 7 is done and another hearing and by then no one will remember what those Magistrates said. Cafcass could well say the children are happy and doing well in the Mother's care and recommend gradual progression again (which the ex will probably disrupt).

You don't want this dragging on for years and the children becoming alienated.

I will have a think about this but I wouldn't just accept going away and waiting for a Section 7 report when the Mother didn't attend an enforcement hearing.

Another option, if submitting a C2 is to submit a part 25 application for an Independent Social Worker. This costs money of course. Could be about £2,000. They can do the Section 7 much quicker and are experts in saying if there is alienation (which frankly, Cafcass are not). It could all be done within a couple of months and maybe even a recommendation to transfer residency if the Mother doesn't comply with orders.

I think it needs dealing with robustly. As the alienating parent, she is happily getting on with her life for up to a year or more, while you are waiting and losing.

 

[Ash]

In the position statement I would ask for equal shared care (if you want it) and also say that if the Mother continues to breach court orders and not turn up to hearings, that you request a transfer of residency. Delay is harmful to the child.

 

[Rachel997]

Thanks Ash,

there are some really good points here and I really appreciate people taking the time out to reply.

she has consistently failed to allow their dad to co-parent and also has spoken negatively about him to the girls since they separated. we have been advised that we should be seeking residency now as she has demonstrated that she is unable to support a relationship between the girls and their dad but also has now fabricated that he abused them and telling them this. she has also told them that he abused her in their relationship which again is fabricated. she has interrupted contact with the girls so much that we don't have any way to contact them anymore. she has changed address, got them new phones and shut down any avenues we did have to speak to them.

The section 7 has already been started at the hearing she failed to attend so we are just waiting to meet with them. we have been allocated a FCA. The court emphasised that they were also concerned about the delay and have instructed that the next court hearing must establish contact between the dad and children. They booked the next hearing whilst he was in the room and have allowed it to be at another court as it was a sooner date. they have also instructed CAFCASS to assess for parental alienation which was confirmed on the court docs we received.
we have a lot of evidence to support out position and that the girls welfare is deteriorating. I just hope that someone takes it seriously.

We are concerned that she isn't going to show again and in all honestly fully expect it, we have considered putting in a financial claim if she does as she has cost us £1000s in legal costs. this is the 3rd time we have had to go to court for contact with the girls.

I will update this as I have found peoples experiences so helpful in managing our own situation.

 

[Ash]

I don't think you'll get far with a financial claim - not at this stage anyway. It might be better to focus on being child focused for now but use a barrister for the next hearing and possibly he or she could ask for costs to be ordered if she doesn't show up. However I have had costs awarded before and they're very difficult to enforce! Could cost more to enforce than you're owed! And even then she won't have to pay it if she can show she doesn't have the money. I would write that off for now and focus on getting control of the situation.

The biggest priority at the next hearing would be Child Arrangements rather than trying to get an award for costs in my view.

In this position statement I think you should say that, you wish the children to now have equal shared care with both parents, so the children can see that both parents are equally important to them and to encourage Mrs Ex to see that both parents are equally important to the children, and to assist with co parenting by means of a clearly defined order and a parenting app for communication. But that if Mrs Ex does not attend this next hearing, you request the court transfers residency, due to contempt of court twice, and because Mrs Ex is actively preventing the children from enjoying a relationship with their Father, whereas you would ensure healthy relationships with both parents.

I think asking for residency if she doesn't show AND costs would be too much. And would water down the request for residency. If you get what I mean. I know it's eye watering, the money, but it's really important he shows it's the children's welfare as the priority rather than getting costs (but maybe go for costs later if things don't pan out). And as I said - doesn't mean you'll get the money anyway!

 

[Rachel997]

Hi Guys,
I thought I would post an update as I did say I would.
We had our second FHDRA for an enforcement order (rebooked as she failed to attend the first). We were court ordered to submit a position statement specifically answering questions about where the children should live and what contact the other parent should have. Cafcass section 7 was ordered at the first FHDRA that she did not attend.
We added to our position statement to reflect the update and also to answer the specific things that the court asked of us. The respondent was ordered to do the same.
she failed to submit a position statement and she also failed to attend the second FHDRA. so that's effectively 2 hearings she has missed now. The hearing went ahead and was before magistrates, my husband said it was a difficult hearing. the magistrate had no understanding of the case and had obviously not read the position statement nor the interim order. he was unaware that the position statements had been court ordered and was unaware that the respondent had failed to attend previously. The magistrate told my husband that maybe the kids 'just don't want to see you'. We also asked for the case to go before a DJ and he told my husband that it can't happen as he is not legally represented. the legal advisor stepped in at this point and said that the case has merit to go before a DJ. however, despite all of this no actions were made at the hearing and the actions from the previous still stand. so effectively we still have a Cafcass section 7 and the respondent has failed to attend 2 court hearings and failed to submit a court ordered position statement.
The legal advisor said that they would put in a consequence for the non attendance and we have the next hearing booked following completion of the CAFCASS report.
We are now in the position where we don't think that she is going to engage with the section 7 and will just ignore CAFCASS attempts to contact her.
so that's our story so far, we are really nervous about the section 7 as it really seems hit and miss with the type of report that you get. we have strong evidence for alienating behaviours and emotional and financial abuse against the children so that's all we can show and hope that they see how at risk they are. we are just trying our best in a difficult system to navigate.

 

[Ash]

Pros and cons with all that. Sorry the magistrates didn't do a good job, but it sounds like the Legal Adviser was more on the ball. Can't believe they said "maybe the kids just don't want to see you"! I think her non attendance twice will work in your favour in the long run. If she doesn't engage with the section 7 that might be in your favour as well. This is supposed to be an enforcement hearing and she failed to show up twice! So she is in contempt of court. I'm wondering if there are some other steps you can take.

Possibly email the court and ask for an urgent directions hearing with a District Judge due to Mother's failure to attend court twice or follow the order to submit a position statement, in addition to continuing to breach the order. However the court might then ask you to submit a C2 (which would be another fee) or they might accept the request in an email. And state that delay is harmful to the children.

 

[Rachel997]

Thanks Ash, You're right - she is in contempt of court but it's like no one cares and keep making excuses for it. I think we may take you up on the advice about emailing the court.

 

[Ash]

The magistrates sounded useless. This could be what you need to get a district judge on the case due to ex's behaviour.

As I say it's an option to email the court along the lines of

Heading: Case Number - Urgent Directions Hearing

Dear Sirs

I request an urgent directions hearing with a District Judge, following the respondent's contempt of court and failure to attend the last two hearings, which is causing harmful to delay to the welfare of the children. Both hearings were for enforcement due to breaches by the respondent.

I would be grateful if you could confirm receipt of this email, and also confirm whether or not I need to submit a C2 application to request the urgent directions hearing.

Yours sincerely - your partner's name (Father)

 

[Ash]

Don't let her get away with it.

 

[Rachel997]

It’s a fair shout. I think we will go ahead as we were a little bit stunned about the whole thing. I forgot to mention that the magistrate said to my husband that parent alienation doesn’t really exist. We are also getting the transcript of the hearing for our own files.

 

[Peanut 21]

It makes me really angry when they have this blasé "maybe kids don't want to see you" attitude.
They are totally blind and clueless about children's rejection (which is not normal) and alienating parents influencing children.


Your partner is lucky to have you @Rachel997
I know how hard it is supporting an alienated dad and being a witness to the madness.

 

[Ash]

It’s a fair shout. I think we will go ahead as we were a little bit stunned about the whole thing. I forgot to mention that the magistrate said to my husband that parent alienation doesn’t really exist. We are also getting the transcript of the hearing for our own files.

Good idea to get a transcript. But - don't mention parental alienation to the courts - they see it as an allegation against the Mother and then view you with suspicion. You skirt around it and describe the behaviours, rather than calling it what it is.

 

[Rachel997]

Totally agree. The only reason it was mentioned as at the previous FHDRA, the magistrate there has instructed CAFCASS to consider parental alienation as a feature in this case. They were a very good magistrate…just shows what a mixed bag it is. We have avoided using that label but have just referenced actions the mother had engaged with. From what I understand it’s a very prickly topic in the courts

 

[Rachel997]

Hey Guys,

I've just come to update of our situation.

the section 7 has now taken place. both children said they didn't want to see dad but were unable to explain why. the cafcass worker said to my partner that their emotional distress is not reflective of their lived experience and that they were very concerned about the children's emotional welfare.
because of this they have recommended the CAFCASS positive coparenting programme. they have said they need further time with the children to unpick what is going on. they have also confirmed that my husband will not be expected to attend appointments with his ex.

we are back in court and have been told that the respondent will be attending this one (didn't attend the last 2).

initially we were worried that it was just being pinned down to unable to co-parent but when the cafcass worker explained the reason for the recommendation we are in total agreement as the cause for the children's distress needs to be identified.

 

[Ash]

Unpleasant to hear but sounds like the Cafcass officer is finding it odd. How old are the kids?

 

[Rachel997]

Yeah they are finding it very odd. They emphasised they need more time with the children to unpick what’s going on for them to be rejecting their dad so much as she is aware there is no safeguarding concerns.
They are 11 and 13. Both were reported to be very distressed in the cafcass interview.
It was hard to hear but my partner fully expected it.

 

[Ash]

Well Cafcass should find that abnormal because a chat with Cafcass shouldn't make them distressed. They clearly seem under pressure. It's a difficult age they're at as regards court orders and the ex probably knows their "wishes" will be taken seriously.