Been seperated about 2 years and for the last 18 months, consistently, my 2 daughters to my ex wife have come and stayed. I live just down the road and in June of this year the court approved equal shared care. So it’s been 50/50 access and the CMS case was closed. My eldest is 11 and has struggled most with the separation. In the early days she didn’t want to see me. I had an affair and fathered another child and I take full responsibility for my actions. Since that moment I’ve tried to be a dad to all 3 girls and make amends.
For the last year things have been fine in terms of contact and we have had lovely consistent times together - we’ve always been very close. Of late though she has started to show her independence by refusing to go places and has now said she doesn’t want to either see me at all or very infrequently. This has broken me and I’ve tried everything to talk to her, but she says she needs space.
However a big part of this is that my ex is emotionally abusing her and alienating me to gain control. She has told our children that she wishes I would die, that I don’t love them, that I’ve ruined their life, that I don’t support them, that they should not see me to illicit more child benefit, that their half sister is a bastard, and that it’s ok to say these things as she’s the innocent party. For 2 years this campaign of resentment and toxicity has been going on. I don’t dispute that I caused all of this and that will be a big part of why my eldest may struggle, but that doesn’t make this ok or justified.
But I don’t know what to do. Every time I challenge her, or try to speak with my eldest, it makes matters worse. What should I do? I guarantee my ex will be contacting court to change the order to get money. She is driven by money and sponges off me.
How do I get my daughter back? How do I deal with my ex? What advice should I seek? What do I do about the court order?
For the last year things have been fine in terms of contact and we have had lovely consistent times together - we’ve always been very close. Of late though she has started to show her independence by refusing to go places and has now said she doesn’t want to either see me at all or very infrequently. This has broken me and I’ve tried everything to talk to her, but she says she needs space.
However a big part of this is that my ex is emotionally abusing her and alienating me to gain control. She has told our children that she wishes I would die, that I don’t love them, that I’ve ruined their life, that I don’t support them, that they should not see me to illicit more child benefit, that their half sister is a bastard, and that it’s ok to say these things as she’s the innocent party. For 2 years this campaign of resentment and toxicity has been going on. I don’t dispute that I caused all of this and that will be a big part of why my eldest may struggle, but that doesn’t make this ok or justified.
But I don’t know what to do. Every time I challenge her, or try to speak with my eldest, it makes matters worse. What should I do? I guarantee my ex will be contacting court to change the order to get money. She is driven by money and sponges off me.
How do I get my daughter back? How do I deal with my ex? What advice should I seek? What do I do about the court order?
