Effect of false allegations after CAO up and running.

[Dirge]

I have a reasonable CAO that has been working well, overall, for a year or so. I only have to pick up my children from ex's house during holidays, and up until yesterday I would
wait outside in the car and the children come out to me. I have done this to minimize contact with ex to avoid giving her opportunities for false allegations. Now, out of the blue, she is demanding that I come to her door and ring the bell before she will release the children. Her scumbag partner has been making his presence known significantly more recently, and he is fully prepared to act illegally. I smell a rat. It could be the pair of them just want to make the collection uncomfortable for me, but there is a real risk that they are planning to falsely accuse me of something to make life difficult. Naturally, I am going to resist setting foot on ex's property, and if I am forced to go to her door I intend to wear a body cam.
The question is, given I have a well working CAO in place, how much of a problem would false allegations cause me? There won't be any evidence, but it could be my word against both of theirs.

 

[mva]

Yeh sounds like a trap. Why does ex want potential conflict in front of kids. How old are kids. Can you always get to park right outside house. I used to ring on doorbell then stand well back in street with hidden cam. If she then comes out with kids it’s her causing potential conflict.

 

[Dirge]

don't think conflict in front of kids concerns my ex, but I was thinking more along the lines of ex and partner just making stuff up, they are not going to be able to provoke me. They want to make life difficult for me because that's the sort of people they are, particularly scumbag partner. " used to ring on doorbell then stand well back in street with hidden cam. If she then comes out with kids it’s her causing potential conflict." - Yes, that's what I was thinking of doing if it comes to it. Normally I can park right outside the house, only yesterday there were two cars there. Kids are 8 and 9.

 

[mva]

Yeh she might be angling for a non mol. My kids were roughly same age and able to walk out house with bags etc. just record everything, but make sure she doesn’t clock it or police might regard as harassment of her by you . Can’t win with difficult ex. Another trick my ex would use is kids were always 10-20 mins late. So basically just left standing in street looking suspicious.

Hopefully in few years kids will have phone so can organise with them.

 

[Dirge]

If the police might regard recording as harassment, what happens if you need to produce video evidence of a pick up, to disprove false allegations?

 

[mva]

I had this. I was recording my ex through mobile in my pocket. She clocked it called police who sent a non threatening letter suggesting to stop recording and resolve issues through family court, and follow up standard letter from social services. This letter was added to ex bundle in family court and added to idea of conflict between parents.

That said if your ex makes allegation certain time/date and you can completely disprove by video evidence in family or criminal court.

In short recording if seen by ex will potentially antagonise situation

 

[Dirge]

this sounds like a lose/lose situation. If I record pick up for my own protection I could make problems for myself. If I don't record and false allegations are made by ex and/or her partner I could end up with a nmo? Presumably, if the police take a dim view of recording, won't the courts do too? Nightmare. How about bringing a friend along as a witness? They could sit in the car with window down and passively listen - even then it might still be two people's word against two people's word. Or maybe have a dash cam in the car, conveniently pointing towards the house?

 

[Peanut 21]

Could someone go with you to pick up the kids for a couple of times? They could sit in the car or watch from a distance? I know it's not ideal dragging other people in but I wouldn't suggest doing it every pick up.

 

[Dirge]

Yes, Considering what @mva has said, I've come to the conclusion that getting a mate to come along maybe the best option. Although no one has detailed what effect false allegations would have, it would appear they could make life difficult for me.

 

[Peanut 21]

Yes, Considering what @mva has said, I've come to the conclusion that getting a mate to come along maybe the best option. Although no one has detailed what effect false allegations would have, it would appear they could make life difficult for me.

New false allegations could be raised by the ex.
The likely outcome could be that she then could apply to vary the order and make these claims to give a reason as to why she stops you seeing the kids.
This could then mean having to see the kids supervised by family or using a contact centre.
Then you'd have the cycle of court hearings and potentially not seeing your kids.

This is all assumptions though and won't necessarily happen.

 

[Dirge]

Thanks for the reply @Peanut 21 . What you said is grim reading, but at least I know to take the possible outcome of false allegations seriously. And yes, it might not necessarily happen, but as I've said before, hope for the best, plan for the worst.

 

[Peanut 21]

Thanks for the reply @Peanut 21 . What you said is grim reading, but at least I know to take the possible outcome of false allegations seriously. And yes, it might not necessarily happen, but as I've said before, hope for the best, plan for the worst.

Exactly. My scenario is based on what my partners ex has done numerous times and other situations I've read on here.
I think prepare for her making false allegations but cover your back. And have a plan in place for if/when she makes the allegations.
A witness being with you and possibly having them film could help.
I know video footage can be frowned upon but it's good for your own peace of mind.