DRA hearing - advice/experience needed please

[Resolute]

But they clearly represent one side so they are totally biased.

Yes, they are totally biased. I suggest you have somebody with you. The barrister who negotiated with me prior to a hearing told the judge I was the most hostile and difficult person in years of experience as a barrister. I was totally placid. Only problem is I did not fall for traps set.

They will attempt to get you to commit to a position and refuse to take a position themselves.

 

[bujanin]

Yes, they are totally biased. I suggest you have somebody with you. The barrister who negotiated with me prior to a hearing told the judge I was the most hostile and difficult person in years of experience as a barrister. I was totally placid. Only problem is I did not fall for traps set.

They will attempt to get you to commit to a position and refuse to take a position themselves.

I will be alone. If asked and 'visted' by the barrister I will state that my case as laid out in the position statement is the recomendation made by CAFCASS. I am not prepared to negotiate and will therefore not see any purpose in discussions.

Is there any negative in making it clear that I will not discuss anything without a witness being present?

 

[Peanut 21]

Although my partners end result after years of court weren't great, the exs barrister wasn't a complete a**ehole towards my partner.
It sounds bonkers but he was totally professional and civil towards him.
He came in useful for the pre hearing negotiations as the ex would never meet in the middle on anything.
So don't be too concerned if you find yourself in a similar boat.

 

[Resolute]

I will be alone. If asked and 'visted' by the barrister I will state that my case as laid out in the position statement is the recomendation made by CAFCASS. I am not prepared to negotiate and will therefore not see any purpose in discussions.

Is there any negative in making it clear that I will not discuss anything without a witness being present?

I believe they will attempt to get you talking about whatever is unresolved. They will try to trick you into believing you are at fault on something. They will then act as though you are responsible for providing the solution.

I suggest you ask the barrister to tell you their client's position. Deflect and reflect, but do not give them anything.

You can have a friend or family member there for support. Just fill in the the McKenzie form. Not as a paid service, just as a second pair of ears.

 

[bujanin]

I believe they will attempt to get you talking about whatever is unresolved. They will try to trick you into believing you are at fault on something. They will then act as though you are responsible for providing the solution.

I suggest you ask the barrister to tell you their client's position. Deflect and reflect, but do not give them anything.

You can have a friend or family member there for support. Just fill in the the McKenzie form. Not as a paid service, just as a second pair of ears.

Presumably by that stage I will have been given a copy of the applicants position statement so i will know their clients position. From what you say I need to politely be resolute in having no discussion on anything of any substance.

And if I am unable to have somebody present with me I could presumably be clear to anybody that enters the room that my phone is video recording all comings and goings whilst I am alone in this little waiting room.

 

[Resolute]

I received the position statement about 30 minutes before I was sat down with the barrister.

The barrister was totally unreasonable. None of my questions were answered. They are experts at something we are trying to do as amateurs.

It is a Without Prejudice conversation, I'm not sure that recording would he acceptable. Resolute is the right word. Do not be swayed by what is said to you. Be polite to a fault, be welcoming and convivial, do not have the slightest tone of aggression in what you say. But give them nothing. They want you to provide the rope. If the barrister makes a substantial offer on behalf of your ex, that is different. If they are just fishing, do not bite!

 

[Resolute]

Looking back over posts I realise I missed something.

This is just my opinion, but I do not think refusing discussion or asking to record are a good look. I believe either could be used against you.

The other side will thrive on conflict. The approach they struggle with is you being calm, reasonable, and cooperative. I would save anything oppositional for the essential points.

This is a charade, which is a big part of what makes it inaccessible to Litigants in Person.

Other may interpret it differently, and they may be right.

My fingers are crossed for you. Please let us all know how it goes.

 

[bujanin]

Looking back over posts I realise I missed something.

This is just my opinion, but I do not think refusing discussion or asking to record are a good look. I believe either could be used against you.

The other side will thrive on conflict. The approach they struggle with is you being calm, reasonable, and cooperative. I would save anything oppositional for the essential points.

This is a charade, which is a big part of what makes it inaccessible to Litigants in Person.

Other may interpret it differently, and they may be right.

My fingers are crossed for you. Please let us all know how it goes.

Yes I've had on my mind for a couple of days something I read, possibly from Peanut, about talking to the grey. This really resonates so I will get into that mindspace and leave the door to the room I'm in open.

I was also given advice today that in the court room to request to the judge that I receive a copy of the draft order to agree it before it is sent to the court/judge. Get that request down on record.

I'm getting the position statement down over the weekend and all being well I could save a bit of money.