DRA after section 7 report

[Feellost without my boys]

Hi Everyone,

Well where do I start, I was at court yesterday for my DRA after the section 7 report, cafcass had only recommended 6 indirect contacts a year and wanting to end the case yesterday even though there are no safeguardingissues with me. My barrister was excellent and said the section 7 report hasn't been done correct as some stuff what was in the court order cafcass didn't do and when my barrister asked why he said he didn't know because he didn't ask so now he has to do more in depth checks on my ex and backed down with alot of stuff what was in the report, now this is where it gets interesting. I received an email from cafcass to say he spoke with my ex and she has now had a think and is willing for me to have contact with one of my sons but not the other and it has to be done in a contact centre but I have to fund it.

My ex and cafcass no I can't afford to pay for the contact centre as I have just getting a house and I'm paying off debt from our relationship I really want to start re establishing my relationship with my boys so was wondering if anyone knows if there is funding for contact centres. This is a joke as originally in the report neither of my sons wanted to see me but when asked why they couldn't answer and wanted to move on and now my ex is now saying my youngest some will want family time with me after cafcass had phoned her to give an update to what happened at court because she didn't turn up again that's both hearings she hasn't turned up to but her excuse was she had to take my youngest son to an emergency dentist.

 

[Another disposable father]

I'm sorry to hear this, and I agree the court is a joke!

However, drawing on the positives, it sounds good that there is finally some hope for direct contact That must be a good thing

There are some contact centres that don't charge or are a very low cost. There is also a different services at contact centres e.g supervised, supported. If she just wants it to be at a contact centre but doesn't insist it has to be supervised, then supported contact at a contact centre is a much lower cost.

You will need to check with Cafcass, but because it's in the child's best interests but you don't have the means to fund contact then Cafcass or social services might pay for some contact sessions. Cafcass also have some contact centres of their own.

Once contact has started then you'll be in a much stronger position for getting it progressed to unsupervised contact!

Don't give up!

 

[Ash]

So if Cafcass has had to go away and do more stuff, does that mean there will be another hearing? To report back? In which case you could ask for supervised in the community - eg by a family member. Of course if there is another hearing, paying for the barrister again would be expensive but I could see an argument that Cafcass have been inconsistent and that there should be an order for both boys to have direct time with you.

On the other hand, if you had it at a contact centre, there could be an argument to ask for a final hearing to be listed later after a report back from the contact centre. If you get glowing contact centre reports then you may get an order for direct time together.#

How old are your two boys?

 

[Feellost without my boys]

Hello,

There is a final hearing listed for the 7th December so I'm in the middle of doing my witness statement and evidence what has to be back at the court for 2nd November, on Thursday last week I received another email from cafcass to say my ex has now changed her mind about contact even though I did find a contact centre what is free but was about a 30 minute drive away but that was only solution I could find.

I am devastated as cafcass are just letting her rule them and they believe everything she says I had a really close bond with my boys even when we first split I was allowed to see them for a month then when she decided she wanted to cut contact with me the boys did at the same time I have told them she has been alienating the boys against me but they just believe her no matter what she says.

I don't know what to do anymore

 

[Feellost without my boys]

Sorry my boys are 12 and 9

 

[Ash]

How old are they?

 

[Ash]

Posted at the same time. Sadly Cafcass will see the 12 year old's wishes as dictating things and seems they haven't spotted he has been manipulated. But once he gets to 15 he might decide to do his own thing a bit more.

So are you saying this time with the 9 year old has now been withdrawn again?

I think you're going to need very good representation at the final hearing. Did you lose a fact find?

 

[Feellost without my boys]

Yeah she has withdrawn it, I am waiting to see if we are advocate can help me again with a barrister.

The judge in the first hearing said that was no need for a fact finding hearing due to me being able to go to her house and see the boys

 

[Feellost without my boys]

My barrister at last hearing said she doesn't know why they just going off the boys wishes and feeling as no safeguarding concerns against me and they couldn't give an explanation to why they didn't want to see me, in fact the police have made me put in an harassment complaint in against my ex due to all the false allegations she has made

 

[Ash]

Ok so you need someone really good for final hearing. There are no welfare issues with you! Wishes and feelings are only a small proportion of the welfare checklist. The twelve year old a Judge may say - can't force him to come but a younger child - it's the Mother's responsibility to ensure he has a relationship with his Father. It's unheard have to have no time at all when there are no welfare issues.

 

[Ash]

What you needed was an independent social worker report maybe, but that would delay things. So are Cafcass doing a Section 7 addendum?

 

[Feellost without my boys]

I know my barrister couldn't believe I had only been recommended 6 indirect contacts a year when there is no concerns on me I'm a professional person (training to be an accountant) but thr last allegation made against me was I supposed to have taken money out of exs account this is fraud and could've cost me my career, I went to the police as I didn't know anything about this till I got section 7 report to be told off the police no investigation against me as it was all lies as the amount she said come out of her bank didn't agree what actually come out of her bank everything has been done malicious

 

[henry23]

Hi I'm just reading your thread. How are things going since october?

 

[Feellost without my boys]

Well no further forward really, I had a hearing in December when both parties agreed to do the ICFA programe only for my ex to make some serious sick allegations in January to put a halt to it, so we had another hearing 2 weeks ago and a guardian has been appointed as in the police disclosure it states that my ex was putting words in my children's mouths and this is mentioned a couple of times so now proves what i have been saying from day 1 that my ex has been alienating them against me so now cafcass are looking in to the alienating part. I still have no contact with my children even though it has been proven there is no safeguarding concerns with me i am only allowed to write to my boys every fortnight with the guardian now reading the letters to the boys to promote me to them with the first letter getting read to them tomorrow as the guardian wants to see there reaction as they are saying they dont want to see me but cant give a reason to why they dont but this will be down to my ex alienating them. My barrister is pushing for parental alienating and to get the boys residency changed to me so unfortunately its a long road im on.

 

[hazemaze]

What is an ICFA programme? Never heard of this.

If there's PA going on it needs to be sorted. I hope you're heard and get residency for this. It's incredibly damaging and unfair to children. Good luck mate

 

[Feellost without my boys]

I won't get the report from the guardian till about 6 weeks so be another couple of weeks after that before we back at court but with the police disclosure saying she was putting words in boys mouth that's alienating there so it will depend on how severe it is but considering cafcass wanted the case closing In October with 6 indirect contacts a year I am fighting them all the way the police did also put in the report that my ex was becoming increasingly paranoid and manic and her house was fairly untidy and her mental health was poor what I have been saying from the beginning as well its took a year for them to listen to me but finally seem to be getting somewhere

 

[Alocacoc]

Well no further forward really, I had a hearing in December when both parties agreed to do the ICFA programe only for my ex to make some serious sick allegations in January to put a halt to it, so we had another hearing 2 weeks ago and a guardian has been appointed as in the police disclosure it states that my ex was putting words in my children's mouths and this is mentioned a couple of times so now proves what i have been saying from day 1 that my ex has been alienating them against me so now cafcass are looking in to the alienating part. I still have no contact with my children even though it has been proven there is no safeguarding concerns with me i am only allowed to write to my boys every fortnight with the guardian now reading the letters to the boys to promote me to them with the first letter getting read to them tomorrow as the guardian wants to see there reaction as they are saying they dont want to see me but cant give a reason to why they dont but this will be down to my ex alienating them. My barrister is pushing for parental alienating and to get the boys residency changed to me so unfortunately its a long road im on

your story matches all of ours, they follow the same pattern , its almost hilarious how you will tick every box of being a dark triad personality.

User, Unloving, Unsafe, Unreliable, Uninterested

expect the allegations to ramp up the more you try and reconcile she will convince them of things that never happened

Unfortunately the court worship moms "BELIEVE ALL WOMEN" she wont even need any evidence and they will all join her tribe,

or they wont be able to fathom that you as male, havent participated in this in anyway.

women are hardwired to absorb other womens emotions, you will notice when one approves of you they ALL approve of you & vica versa

I did not meet one woman in my journey who was in a position of authority and could critically think or think logically.

Infact I lie, there was one at the doctors reception she was brilliant, unfortunately she wasnt in a position of power

 

[Feellost without my boys]

Well I totally get what your saying and in fact a made a formal complaint against my cafcass officer because of the sick allegation made against me in January I was called an perpetrator by the cafcass officer and I have this recorded even though he didn't have any police disclosure in front of him so assumed I was guilty so your right a woman can say what they want and get believed, I think the cafcass officer thinks am stupid so I made a point to his manager as 90% of my job is analysing as I'm training to be an accountant so I analysed his reports and pulled them to bits but lucky I have a barrister or this would've been closed with his recommendations of 6 indirect contacts a year for no reason even the judge said in the hearing in December he found the recommendations disheartening as there no concerns over me cafcass are really poor and like I said to my barrister if I was that incompetent in my job I would be sacked.

 

[Alocacoc]

Well I totally get what your saying and in fact a made a formal complaint against my cafcass officer because of the sick allegation made against me in January I was called an perpetrator by the cafcass officer and I have this recorded even though he didn't have any police disclosure in front of him so assumed I was guilty so your right a woman can say what they want and get believed, I think the cafcass officer thinks am stupid so I made a point to his manager as 90% of my job is analysing as I'm training to be an accountant so I analysed his reports and pulled them to bits but lucky I have a barrister or this would've been closed with his recommendations of 6 indirect contacts a year for no reason even the judge said in the hearing in December he found the recommendations disheartening as there no concerns over me cafcass are really poor and like I said to my barrister if I was that incompetent in my job I would be sacked.

if youve done nothing wrong as you state, mom has requested supervised visits, so you still appear dangerous.

she will say to the child "see someone has to watch over him with you as I told you he was dangerous"

do you see how EVERYTHING fuels the idea you are a lunatic? its very insidious isnt it

 

[Feellost without my boys]

I haven't done anything wrong police have even said that and she is paranoid and has poor mental health and this was something I raised at the very beginning but she can make lies up to stop me seeing my boys and upto the day I was cut off I have messages and videos from my youngest saying they love me but yet she stopped contact for her mental health.

I have done everything properly but yet she playing a victim even her oldest daughter wants nothing to do with her because of what she is doing to me and the boys.

She lost her daughters before we got together for neglect and emotional abuse but cafcass didn't acknowledge that but now she doing the exact same thing as then