Do I ask one more time???

[Oneofmany]

I am currently no contact with my ex (undertakings) and she isnt allowing any direct access to the children, My c100 is in and awaiting CAFCASS safeguarding call prior to FHDRA. I have asked via solicitor about arranging spending time with them which has been refused. I suggested to my solicitor advocate that I try once more if even for a few hour at my parents house. She said that it was probably a waste of money as my ex had been clear (suggestions were for mid week and weekends) and she had refused previous suggestions.

As you all appreciate this is hell. Question is do I try one more ask, suggesting spending at least some time with them at my parents or in a setting of her choosing??? I dont want to make things any worse than they already are or impact the c100 process but just want to make every last effort possible.

TIA

 

[coggers1980]

I'd suggest don't bother.
Ex has made it clear it's a no, so it's just a waste of money paying a solicitor to send another letter. These costs soon add up over time.

 

[Oneofmany]

I'd suggest don't bother.
Ex has made it clear it's a no, so it's just a waste of money paying a solicitor to send another letter. These costs soon add up over time.

its just so hard, feeling helpless

 

[coggers1980]

It is, and others on here will attest to the same.

However, you have to think about the endgame and doing everything you can to portray yourself to Cafcass /court as the best dad. It's a long process unfortunately.

I completely ignore my ex, as I've no doubt she would do anything she could to report me to whomever. Down side is I've not seen my daughter since December last year, but is what it is.

 

[bujanin]

its just so hard, feeling helpless

Well you are helpless at the moment really, given that the safeguarding call hasn't happened. You have no power right now and would be relying on goodwill from her which seems to be awol.

Having said that there is help on here from the community. As has been said repeatedly it is a long game.

I feel for you mate.

 

[nothernsoul]

Afternoon mate

I wouldn't bother. Save your money for when it counts. Your ex will just love the power of saying no and will even make out you're being controlling and aggressive.

If she starts giving you family time now then she won't have whatever she gives you as the minimum at hearing which she probably will do.

It's heartbreaking mate but try and take some solace that you are currently doing everything you can. It might not feel like it but you are.

 

[Resolute]

My experience has been continually being pushed away, accused, and threatened. Every time I try to arrange something. In court her barrister asks like I am disinterested, incapable, and have never made any effort. As a result I occasionally send the kindest most generous email appealing for steps towards serving the child's interests and expressing a strong will to work collaboratively with my ex to that end.

I have somewhere between 6-12 of these on record. Offering complete control to my ex and pleading for us to work together.

I like having them there. Only one interpretation is available in their light.