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[Js79]

Hi all, a couple of week ago I was arrested for DV on my ex (it never happened) when she dropped my 6 year old off at my door step, I was taken away in a police van in front of my 6 year old and his last words to me was… daddy when will I see you again

I was released on bail but on the condition I cannot contact my ex for 3 months.
The problem is how do I manage to see my child? The police said I can do this through a third person and I have asked a few people close to her and me and we have had nothing back from her.

I’m lost and don’t know what else to do, I really don’t think I can cope not seeing him for 3 months and that includes missing his birthday. I just need to know he’s ok

Any help will be appreciated

 

[Roblox]

Hi

Sorry to hear this. Have you taken any legal advice. Most solicitors will usually offer an initial free consultation.

Have you got the ball rolling with mediation and a potential c100 application? Not sure exactly how this would work with your bail conditions but I think others on here have had similar issues.

 

[nothernsoul]

Morning mate.

So sorry to hear what you are going through.

You've come to a great place for advice

I agree with the above. Wait for some solid advice about your unique situation but sounds like mediation / court could be your route.

 

[Js79]

Hi

Sorry to hear this. Have you taken any legal advice. Most solicitors will usually offer an initial free consultation.

Have you got the ball rolling with mediation and a potential c100 application? Not sure exactly how this would work with your bail conditions but I think others on here have had similar issues.

I’m booked to see one next week

Won’t be able to do mediation due to the bail conditions I’m guessing.
I’m not sure how she can get away with this, it’s not child focused at all.

 

[capa]

Mediation will be signed off, but I've mentioned this before,when I had mine the mediator said the mediation services are in talks with the courts to allow mediation to happen when DV/DA is involved whether that be unfounded or not, it will be along wait

 

[Oneofmany]

Sorry to hear your story buddy. Been there..... got paraded up the street in cuffs when they could have put the van directly outside the house. Truly awful/horiffic experience.

Its easy to say stay in the fight, and believe me I struggle every day and really should listen to my own advice. But just keep getting up, post on here, rant, ask questions, vent. That how I try and relieve some of the pressure.

 

[Resolute]

I’m booked to see one next week

Won’t be able to do mediation due to the bail conditions I’m guessing.
I’m not sure how she can get away with this, it’s not child focused at all.

Mediation is usually just a process you need to get through in order to be signed off. If your ex is willing to make false allegations and have you arrested in front of a child. I cannot see much hope of a reasonable mediated outcome.

Having said that, and aware that your ex will want to drag things out, shuttle-mediation is an option in 'DA' cases. If you try to engage her in the process, she could decide to lead the mediator on for a few months and tie you up. There are organisations that do forms of fast track mediation where you attend a MIAM and get the certificate to apply almost straight away. That may be your best bet.

 

[Roblox]

Mediation is usually just a process you need to get through in order to be signed off. If your ex is willing to make false allegations and have you arrested in front of a child. I cannot see much hope of a reasonable mediated outcome.

Having said that, and aware that your ex will want to drag things out, shuttle-mediation is an option in 'DA' cases. If you try to engage her in the process, she could decide to lead the mediator on for a few months and tie you up. There are organisations that do forms of fast track mediation where you attend a MIAM and get the certificate to apply almost straight away. That may be your best bet.

Yeah I was thinking that. Just bypass mediation ASAP as will be a waste of time in this case.

Be interested to hear what advice is given but I think you need to be ready to bide your time.

It's crap but given what you've explained there's no way there's going to be a fast resolution here unless your ex does some kind of miraculous u turn.

 

[Js79]

Thanks for your reply’s, have asked 3 different people to contact my ex to ask for contact and she’s blanked all of them.
My bail conditions state that I should have no contact with her…. My son has a football match next week, is there anything stopping me going to watch him if I stand 100m away from her as it’s not having contact?

 

[Ash]

I would just ask the mediator to sign you off and get a C100 application in asap. Just tell the mediator that mediation isn't suitable because you've been falsely accused of abuse and arrested. If the mediator still tries to persuade you to say, do shuttle mediation, just say no, I'd just like to be signed off to apply to court. Repeat if necessary. You could actually take page 9 of the C100 with you and ask her to sign it there and then. I did that once. Mediator wasn't keen as they usually send it out to you later, but she did do it.

I think to be able to organise trying to see your child now, you'll need to get a solicitor's letter sent. A solicitor can contact your ex even if you can't directly. But make the C100 a priority as your ex may just ignore the solicitor's letter.

Did you have a solicitor for the police interview?

 

[Ash]

How to complete the C100 Form

Feb 11, 2022

Guide to completing the C100 form

• Ash
• Applying to Court

Sample wording for C100 application

Jul 15, 2022

What to put in box 5b

• Ash
• Applying to Court

 

[Js79]

I would just ask the mediator to sign you off and get a C100 application in asap. Just tell the mediator that mediation isn't suitable because you've been falsely accused of abuse and arrested. If the mediator still tries to persuade you to say, do shuttle mediation, just say no, I'd just like to be signed off to apply to court. Repeat if necessary. You could actually take page 9 of the C100 with you and ask her to sign it there and then. I did that once. Mediator wasn't keen as they usually send it out to you later, but she did do it.

I think to be able to organise trying to see your child now, you'll need to get a solicitor's letter sent. A solicitor can contact your ex even if you can't directly. But make the C100 a priority as your ex may just ignore the solicitor's letter.

Did you have a solicitor for the police interview?

Yes I had a solicitor for the police interview, was really helpful and just said it will be filed when you return

Will do the c100 this week. My solicitor did send my ex a letter regarding contact. The letter stated how many days a week are normally have him etc, she did reply saying she seeking legal advice and will be in touch shortly.

Thanks again for your reply

 

[Fellowshipper]

Hi all, a couple of week ago I was arrested for DV on my ex (it never happened) when she dropped my 6 year old off at my door step, I was taken away in a police van in front of my 6 year old and his last words to me was… daddy when will I see you again

I was released on bail but on the condition I cannot contact my ex for 3 months.
The problem is how do I manage to see my child? The police said I can do this through a third person and I have asked a few people close to her and me and we have had nothing back from her.

I’m lost and don’t know what else to do, I really don’t think I can cope not seeing him for 3 months and that includes missing his birthday. I just need to know he’s ok

Any help will be appreciated

Wait, they used your boy to ambush you in to an arrest?

 

[Js79]

Confused!! As from the post above I was arrested for DV on my ex a month ago, bail conditions were not to contact ex unless through a third party to arrange contact with my 6 year old. Iv tried through a third party with no luck so had no contact. SS have been in touch and my ex was claiming I was abusive to my son years ago (not true). I sent my c100 form off a couple of weeks ago to get the case going. To my surprise and out of the blue I had a text from my ex’s sister saying I can have my son this Thursday for a few hours after school and drop him back to her!
I’m over the moon I get to see him but I can’t help to think what’s changed her mind after what she said to SS. Has this happened to anyone else and what advice would you give?

Many thanks

 

[nothernsoul]

Morning mate.

Advice would be to continue with your application.

Use this as an opportunity for your ex to see how reasonable you can be but most impoetantly have a wonderful time with your child.

Ignore any perceived acts of kindness from the ex - so many of us have had mothers appearing to turn a corner only for them to flip their attitude on its head.

I'd be tempted to try and involve the 3rd party and make a positive impression with them. At the end of your family time thank them and ask them if they have any other time to support the child.

It's a horrible time though mate. I adored being back with mine but absolutely despised being treated like a criminal.

 

[Js79]

Thanks for the reply

Great advice thanks, just not sure what she’s thinking as she told social services I was abusive towards him and now she’s letting me have unsupervised contact.
I’m just paranoid tbh. Will continue with my application, Just not sure now why she’s suddenly giving me access. Feels like some kind of game

Thanks

 

[kadafi9]

Take all the contact you can as it will show that you have solely cared for your child and there were no issues if she decides to go down the route of manipulation, this will be crucial.