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Court Friday as LIP. Advice pls

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coggers1980

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Aft all, bit of advice please.

In court on Friday for latest pointless round... We are up to a 2nd DRA, judge is deciding whether a FF is needed for allegations of emotional abuse against me and parental alienation against ex (as highlighted by Cafcass in their s7). Child is 10 and has refused to see me for 16 months or so.

I'm awaiting Cafcass position statement, which should have been completed and sent to court 3 months ago. Cafcass person was 'ill' and didn't do it, and then asked for extension to date.

Fast forward to today, and first contact I have had in months is as follows,

Good afternoon
It would be really helpful if you could provide me with a quick update about how contact has been going since the end of August?
Also please could you confirm your current position and what you think should happen next?

I've help off with my own PS as it was a bit pointless without knowing what Cafcass were saying and I didn't want to play my hand to ex's barrister unless necessary.

Best next step? Was thinking of just ignoring Cafcass and discussing at court instead with judge.
 
I wouldn't ignore CAFCASS, they are effectively the voice of the court! The judge/court very rarely go against CAFCASS and often take their comments as gospel from my perspective.
 
Answer their question and be really nice about it.
Ask them for a copy of the report asap as it’s important for you to be able to consider their recommendations.

Keep cafcass on side at all costs, in particular if they are supporting you on the PA.
Losing their support could be a really big mistake
 
JayMC said:
Answer their question and be really nice about it.
Ask them for a copy of the report asap as it’s important for you to be able to consider their recommendations.

Keep cafcass on side at all costs, in particular if they are supporting you on the PA.
Losing their support could be a really big mistake
Click to expand...
Took your advise and replied appropriately!
 
coggers1980 said:
Took your advise and replied appropriately!
Click to expand...

Good call, Magistrates at first hearings go with Cafcass over 90% of the time from the research I did. So keeping them onside is really key.

A judge at later hearings however is a different story but they will be taking on board cafcass recommendations so it’s still a good idea to work with them
 
Had my PS from Cafcass. 6.30pm day before court. Anyway...

See what people say about not trusting them! Taken mother's word as gospel and painted me out as not trying to maintain contact.

Plus side is that it says that they have no safeguarding concerns and recommend Ifca (if Ive spelt that right?!).

Bit annoying as on the one hand if there are no safeguarding concerns / supporting evidence then I guess that's a good thing. But also just reports what mother says as truth, without even giving me a voice.

Thanks for the advice this far, let's see what tomorrow brings....
 
coggers1980 said:
Had my PS from Cafcass. 6.30pm day before court. Anyway...

See what people say about not trusting them! Taken mother's word as gospel and painted me out as not trying to maintain contact.

Plus side is that it says that they have no safeguarding concerns and recommend Ifca (if Ive spelt that right?!).

Bit annoying as on the one hand if there are no safeguarding concerns / supporting evidence then I guess that's a good thing. But also just reports what mother says as truth, without even giving me a voice.

Thanks for the advice this far, let's see what tomorrow brings....
Click to expand...

I think people sometimes can read more into these than they say.
They have to put down what has been said (regardless of fact) but in my experience of having mine, they used the “if true” statement when putting down how it would have made my son feel..

In conclusion like you, they raised no safeguarding concerns about me and recommended contact start sooner than later. And you did put in a rebuttal statement on the DA issues raised right?

I think we have to keep in mind they have a job to do, and unless they are saying that you ACTUALLY did xyz. They are simply reporting to the court what came out of the interviews.
The important part is that there are no safeguarding concerns.

In terms of court tomorrow, just be careful don’t be negative about the ex. It won’t hurt to be positive about their parenting skills (if you have no concerns that is)
Show the court you only care about your child, not point scoring, not settling grudges.
Show them you are not what your ex makes you out to be.
You won’t be able to provide evidence at the first hearing, but if you tired to maintain contact make sure you cover this.

Have they recommended supervised contact? Or unsupervised?
 
Why are they saying you're not trying to maintain contact?
 
In short I've had to do a weekly call every Wednesday since January. Last week I was stuck at work and had to cancel. Week before my daughter said she didn't want to speak to me, so I told her I didn't either if she was going to be like that.

Cafcass reference these two oy, as me not doing all I can to engage with her. Ignoring previous months of calls, and fact I emailed them to in August to see how, with mum's help, we could improve calls. Email was ignored and never got a reply.
 
coggers1980 said:
Week before my daughter said she didn't want to speak to me, so I told her I didn't either if she was going to be like that.
Click to expand...
This right here, is not a good look.
Appreciate it sucked and you were probably acting on emotion… but it’s not something you should be saying to your child, considering your applying to the court for arrangements.

You’ve got to avoid giving your ex or cafcass things to use against you, it will just make life harder.
 
Think it went ok tbh.

Cafcass recommended ICFA, daughters solicitor agreed to this, I agreed, however ex refused.

Judge basically tore into her and barrister at court. Gave them 5 mins to discuss, when ex then changed her mind and agreed.

Was good to watch, and at least get some progress. Judge wants a 1 day final hearing sorting by start of April, so progress.
 
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