Court application without mediation

[Dadneedsaccess]

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping you can offer some advice. We have had the same rota for over 2 years now for childcare, but whenever I don’t agree with the kids mum she stops access or tries to change things.

She has now decided I can’t see them until October because she went to CSA and is not happy with the outcome because she wanted more. I have always paid her well and have never missed a payment.

My question is, can I apply for a court order for access without having to go to mediation first as it will be a waste of time. I need the court order to protect my time with the children as she stops me seeing them when she doesn’t get her own way.

 

[Ash]

You at least need a MIAM sign off to apply. The MIAM is the first mediation and assessment meeting which you go to on your own.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Ahh ok, thank you for the quick reply. Is this arranged by the court after I apply and pay the £255?

 

[Ash]

No you need to book a mediator appointment first. Google family mediators in the area, phone round them and ask for an early appointment. The MIAM fee varies in different areas but at least £100. You go for your first session. You can ask to be signed off but the mediator will probably want you to try mediation and invite your ex to the next session. If your ex says no she's not coming then you get signed off. But have your application ready to go as soon as you're signed off or she might suspect you're intending to apply to court and put her own application in first to wrong foot you.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Hi Ash,

Thanks for your help. I really need to do some learning about this process don’t I. I haven’t a clue where to start. All this messing just to see your kids eh

 

[Peanut 21]

You'll get plenty of guidance and advice here
Get the ball rolling ASAP.
Do you have it in writing she has said you can't see the kids until CSA sorted?
If so that's good to put in your CAO application.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Hi Peanut,

Yeah, she sent me texts yesterday saying I can’t see my daughters until October 12th and a text saying ‘no further contact’. What would be my next steps here? Can I just apply for court or still have to go for MIAM which she will refuse anyway? I appreciate the advice.

 

[JC83]

Hi Chap,

Sorry to hear you are going through this. So many of us are, myself included. It’s like these exs have a playbook for this. My ex turned on me when we separated, disagreements over finances seemed to trigger it.

You will still need to get MIAM sign off irrespective of her messages. I would complete your c100 application ready to lodge to court and then submit it as soon as you have sign off from a mediator just as Ash has said above. Ash is a legend and if you ask nicely I’m sure he will check the wording of your 5b for you. Keep it child focused. There’s a guide on this forum on how to complete it.

From now on, document EVERYTHING, texts, calls etc. Try and avoid contacting ex at all, and if you do, do it in writing. Based on my experience of this process so far your ex will stop at nothing to deny you access to your child. Since lodging my C100 my ex has allowed me access to my child via a contact centre as she knows completely stopping me seeing my child will not look good for her at the FHDRA. Sorry to sound negative but that’s just my experience so far.

Keep posting, you’ll get great advice on here. I’m still early on in the process but this forum is a godsend.

All the best.

 

[Peanut 21]

Did she say no further contact until csa sorted?

 

[Ash]

Just a reminder to everyone it's CMS CSA was abolished a long time ago.

If you have a text saying "no further contact" you can mention that in your C100 application. You need to have a MIAM. MIAM is not the same as mediation. It stands for Mediation Information Assessment meeting. You go on your own to that and decide whether or not to proceed with mediation. If you proceed, the mediator invites your ex to the next session. If you don't proceed, you get signed off. The sign off document is page 9 of the C100 application form which the mediator completes and signs and you swap the blank page 9 with the page the mediator gives you. Without that MIAM sign off your c100 application will be rejected. It's a legal requirement to have had a MIAM.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Did she say no further contact until csa sorted?

Yeah, on a text she said no further contact until October 12th.

I’ve messaged a mediation service for a call back next week. I’ve asked the mum earlier today if she would go to Mediation and she’s refused it. She’s said she ‘wants her day in court’. I think her idea of what court will entail is not what shes going to face. She seems to have this idea it will be a platform to tell them how hard done by she is? I just want regular access to my girls and happy to pay what I’m told to by CMS. She uses them as weapons to make me do as she says or she stops me seeing them.

Thanks for the info guys. I’ll do some more reading up on the sticky posts too. It’s terrible it has to come to this.

 

[Ash]

Do you have that in writing from her?

 

[Peanut 21]

Her day in court will back fire on her when you can show you've been paying the amount CMS have calculated for you.
If she has an issue with the amount I can't see what can be done there because the calculation they use.
And it doesn't work that way. "You don't pay what I want so you don't see the kids".
Using her logic you could say you won't pay until you can see the kids. Not that I'm advising that but I'm sure you get what I mean.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Do you have that in writing from her?

Deleted screenshot

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

She’s just telling me to take her to court now. No mediation and I can’t see the girls until then.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

She’s trying to stop me having them on Thursdays too because she wants more money through CMS

 

[Ash]

I deleted the screenshots as they could be used legally. So she's not stopping you seeing them altogether, just until October. That seems a bit odd.

 

[Peanut 21]

She’s trying to stop me having them on Thursdays too because she wants more money through CMS

So it sounds like she's stopping you and then reapplying to CMS to say you have them zero over nights. To get more money from you.
I kind of hope this is stunt she's trying to pull so that when you go to court it backfires massively.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Hey guys, so I’ve done my court application and just waiting to hear back.

I had a message through CMS this morning saying the mum has updated them that I only have my daughters one day a week to get more money. I’ve spoken to them and regardless of what evidence I provide, unless it’s a court order or legal document they are just going to believe her. When she originally made the application 2 weeks ago she stated it was band B but has now changed her mind. Is there anything I can do here?

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

I’m considering withholding payment or just paying the amount that I’m meant to for the days I have them. Would this be a stupid move with court coming?