Contacting cafcass my self

[ryan111]

Hello

I've had all contact stopped completely due to an argument with the ex five months ago. I completed my c100 6 weeks ago and have contacted the courts with my case number and been told its in the system.

The said she would do mediation but failed to show for 3 appointments.

Can i contact cafcass my self and try to get the ball rolling and me explaining I'm not risk to my children and they can do all the relivent back ground checks.

Im terrified she's just going to ignore the whole court process and if she does.. Does any one have experience in this what will happen

Thank you and god bless

 

[MagicJ]

Hi @ryan111 ,

Mediation is a precursor to the C100 application & as such you have worked through that step & applied for a CAO as you rightly should.
In terms of the court process, this is different, if she continually fails to attend, which is unlikely, this will fall in your favour as she can be held in contempt.

For Cafcass, if I recall correctly, the C100 is processed by the courts at a Gatekeeping Hearing - this is attending only by court officers.
At this point Cafcass are formally instructed to talk to both parents for the Safeguarding Call, I am not sure if you can contact them before this.

Six weeks is a little bit over the usual time to process the C100, did the court give you an expected date it will be worked through to GK?
Maybe check back twice a week just to get an update & see where it's got to.

Its normal to be anxious of the EX's willingness to disregard authority in these situations, right now you should focus on the preparing yourself for the road ahead, find a way to direct your energies into activities & tasks that will keep you free to focus on the long term goal - this could include journaling for yourself or even for your children or making them gifts weekly etc. so that you have something to share with them when you are eventually reunited!

Hope this helps - MJ

 

[ryan111]

Thank you for you're reply my friend. Im loosing sleep over this.

I spoke to somebody on the phone last week and she told me something along the lines of its currently with a judge.. I have no idea what this meens i just assume its part of the process.

I have send numerous emails and will give them a call tomorrow ive had no sort of response from them at all

I appreciate you're help thank you

 

[MagicJ]

Thank you for you're reply my friend. Im loosing sleep over this.

I spoke to somebody on the phone last week and she told me something along the lines of its currently with a judge.. I have no idea what this meens i just assume its part of the process.

I have send numerous emails and will give them a call tomorrow ive had no sort of response from them at all

I appreciate you're help thank you

That will be the Gatekeeping hearing.

When you call next, just politely note that you understand there are a lot cases & they're doing the best they can, explain not being familiar with this process is difficult & ask if they can help you out by just letting you know what date approximately you can expect it to leave the judge and head to the next step.

You want the court staff on your side, so always good to be polite, hopefully an approach similar to the above gets you some dates in the diary!

 

[ryan111]

Thank you brother.

Im being as polite and nice as possible i feel the ex is wanting me to act irrationally and as much as i want to i cannot let this happen have a great week pal

 

[Peanut 21]

Welcome @ryan111
The beginning of this process is scary, baffling and frustrating.
It triggers your fight or flight system as you feel so out of control.
The courts are severely backlogged and they seem to have become worse the past 2 years or so. So as frustrating as it is, it's normal at the moment to not hear back as quickly as we'd all like.
Plenty of dads on here have been where you are now. It doesn't seem like it but it will get better. Once you get a court date that will be the next thing to focus on.

 

[Ash]

If it's with a Judge (sometimes a recorder) then you should hear something soon. All applications go through gatekeeping whereby a recorder a Judge checks everything is ok with the application - nothing missing, and grounds for an application, plus mediation sign off. Then it gets processed and Cafcass see it, then Cafcass should be in touch.

The gatekeeping hearing that Magic mentioned is something that comes later, after the Cafcass interviews - if there is one - there isn't always.

 

[Merlin836]

I was anxious when I thought my application seemed to be taking forever and a day so I phoned the court and a lady checked and told me it's being processed and I'll hear soon enough and apologized for the delay .
If you've heard something which indicates it's been processed then sit back and wait .
You're doing the right thing by being polite (although this is definitely something we should be doing regardless ) as I can attest this will go for you , it may not seem like it but it will .

You're going to need advice even if you're legally represented I think from other people who've been and are going through the same experience , this site is amazing for that .
You will find a lot of great advice and people to talk to about what's happening .
Always be civil in any correspondence with your ex even if shes giving you hell for leather and twisting and turning things , try not to rise to it as this could be used against you even out of context and show the court you potentially have an hostile relationship which could be detrimental to your child , doesn't matter if your ex is the one who started it or is being hostile it will go against you if you resound in the same
way so always , always remember to be civil .


I wish you luck on what will be an hard journey , it's never easy and when people said it will get better I thought how can that possibly be because the pain you feel is incredible but it does , I and many others can promise that I believe .