"Contact Requirement!?"

[Resolute]

Good morning all,

Our former family home sale was completed last week. I am staying with my family for the interim. Hopefully not too long. Ex has tied equity up in further senseless litigation.

Yesterday evening I got an email saying I must provide address and contact details for where we'll be staying as a condition of EOW with me continuing. Response is requested by close of business today. Tbh, we'll probably be at different addresses for different weekends.

I believe my ex knows where I am staying for the most part. The child has indicated that she does. It feels like my ex would not be asking for confirmation unless she wanted to act on it in some way.

I'm thinking of this as a reply:

Dear EX

Thanks for your email.

CHILD is safe and well during time with me. Please be assured that proper provision will continue to be made. Details of our weekends together, within the UK, have not been shared customarily. Nor is any such custom required.

My contact details remain the same.

Yours...

I think my ex will withhold some time soon. If I provide the family address it may give her the excuse.

What do people think? I feel torn.

Thanks

P.s. Title should have been in inverted commas, it is a direct quote

 

[mikeayo1891]

I don't think you should provide the address as you dont want to hand the ex any undue advantage. Just tell her that she can reach you via email or call (even video call) at anytime if she wants to check that the kids are safe

 

[Peanut 21]

Or provide your families address? As you say she'll know it already but it's a good base while you get yourself sorted with a new home.

 

[Resolute]

Or provide your families address? As you say she'll know it already but it's a good base while you get yourself sorted with a new home.

Yes, she knows it, she has been here many times. I do not want to play along with the "contact requirement" thing. The child has been coming here whenever we fancy for years without my ex's permission or approval.

Either option feels wrong for some reason. Maybe the bigger cost is looking unreasonable by not giving an address.

 

[Resolute]

I've sent an email which includes the address

It goes against my instinct, but neither option felt right

we'll see...

 

[Ash]

What does your order say? If the time is ordered then you can stay wherever you want really, providing it's safe. If you don't tell her where you're staying she could claim it's unsafe. Surely staying with your parents is an acceptable home for you and your child? Even if she doesn't have her own room. Personally I would just reply that we will be living at my parents home at present. And have that as your main base even if you're other places at different times. If you don't tell her she'll probably just grill the child and find out anyway. What issue could she have with you living with your parents and child spending time there?

 

[Ash]

Posted at the same time.

 

[Resolute]

Time is ordered with me, it is a perfect place, child loves being here. Ex is not reasonable, sensible, consistent, honest... She attacks whatever. Even if doing so is contradicting herself.

 

[Ash]

Ok so it's a fine place to live and therefore none of her business. If she stops the child coming, then enforce the order. I doubt she'll apply to vary because she would look silly.

 

[Peanut 21]

They just need to know everything don't they. Maddening.

 

[nothernsoul]

Sounds like a control issue doesn't it but you're right to be cautious.

She would have found fault in whichever way you responded and is probably manoeuvring for some sort of imaginary angle.

I'd say you've done the right thing mate.

 

[bujanin]

They just need to know everything don't they. Maddening.

Micromanaging all aspects of the child's time with the non resident parent. Referred to by CAFCASS as a red flag.

 

[Ash]

I went through this a few times. Decided it was easier just to tell her. After all I knew where she was living. And most parents want to know where the child actually lives when with you (even though some will try and find fault with it and cause trouble). She really can't apply to vary without looking stupid. If you hadn't told her she could possibly have applied to vary.