It's often the wording of the consent order where agreement falls down. As mva says it wants to be tightly worded, very specific with no vagueness or ambiguities such as "if agreed between parents" - that's pointless. The problem is ex's often don't like committing to something so definite and want vaguer wording. But if you're agreed on things then it might be an idea to ask a solicitor to draft the order with tight wording, and take it to mediation. But she won't be able to agree it without legal advice. Unfortunately solicitors for Mothers often try and advise them to have something more in their interests, but hopefully that won't happen.
So for example you would want it to say something like (this shows 2-2-5-5 equal shared care where you each have the same two consecutive midweek nights but on alternate weeks, those two nights are tacked onto a 3 night week-end).
The child lives with both parents
During term time:
Week 1: 9am Friday to 9am Wednesday with Mother, 9am Wednesday to 9am Monday with Father
Week 2: 9am Monday to 9am Wednesday with Mother, 9am Wednesday to 9am Friday with Father
Half the school holidays with each parent: (Note - if you think you can be very amicable ongoing you could just leave it as this and arrange things between you. But if you think there could be disagreements over dates/how often, clashing plans then the following is a "defined" order for school holidays so both of you know when you can book holidays and events well in advance. You can always change things by agreement or swap weeks if you both agree.
School holidays will commence at the end of the school day on the last day of term, and end on the first day of the next term, on return to school, save for the summer holidays:
Half terms:
Half terms will be shared in two clear halves, keeping to the usual week-end schedule, with changeover at midday on the Wednesday
Easter will be split into two clear halves, with changeover at 6pm on the middle saturday. The halves of the easter holidays to be alternated each year between parents. In 2025 the first half with Father and the second half with Mother.
Christmas: (there are a number of options for this - you can either do the same as Easter or split it some other way).
Summer holidays: (a couple of options here - you can either split it down the middle or have a one week and two week block each and share any additional days, as the holiday is usually slightly over 6 weeks and sometimes almost 7 weeks. The first option is easiest for booking holidays with travel time either side. The second option is better if neither of you want to be away from the kids for more than two weeks, but harder to fit holidays in without travel times clashing). I've give a two week and one week block each as an example:
The summer holidays will commence from school on the last day of term, if it is a Friday. If the last day of term is any other day, then the summer holidays will commence at 5pm on the Friday following the end of term, and run 5pm Friday to 5pm Friday. Any days between the end of term and the beginning of the summer holiday schedule, will form part of the usual term time schedule.
Weeks 1 and 2 with Mother, weeks 3 and 4 with Father, week 5 with Mother, week 6 with Father. Any additional days to be shared equally between the parties.
Early May Bank holiday Monday: This will form part of the usual term time schedule.
Special Days:
Special days will be Mothers Day, Fathers day, and child's birthday, There will be an adjustment to the usual scheduled time so the child spends Mothers Day and Fathers Day with the respective parent, from 5.30pm the night before until 9am the morning after. In the event the child is already scheduled to be with the respective parent, this clause will not apply.
Child's birthday will be spent with each parent on alternate years. With Father in 2025. There will be an adjustment to the usual schedule so child spends from 5.30pm the night before their birthday until 9am the morning after their birthday. In the event the child is already scheduled to be with the respective parent on their birthday, this clause will not apply.
Passports: Child's passport will ordinarily be held by the Mother, but given to the Father at least 14 days prior to any overseas or holiday, or on request for any other purpose it is required for. The passport to be returned to the Mother within 7 days.
Schools: Both parents to agree in writing any choice of school for the child before any application is submitted. Neither parent will change the child's school without agreement in writing.
Such further and other times as agreed between the parties in writing.
