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Christmas clashing with child's days with me

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Luke1234

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Hello everyone
I have a child arrangements order which states in the school holidays I have my child in my care from Tuesday 11am - Thursday 11am.
I also have alternative Christmas contact.

This is what the court order says for Christmas this year:
Christmas 2024
You will spend time with xxxxx from 4pm on Christmas Eve until 4pm on Christmas Day.
Xxxx will spend time with xxxxx from 4pm Christmas Day until 4pm Boxing Day.

As Christmas Eve is on a Tuesday this year, I am unsure what time my contact time should start. I read it as I should have my child from 11am, as that is the time I usually have her on a Tuesday. I am pretty sure my ex will say I can’t have my child until 4pm because of the wording of the order and she likes to be extremely difficult with things. I understand Christmas Day is Wednesday which means I won’t see my child on this day as I usually do because of the day Christmas falls on which is fine. It feels unfair if I don’t get to spend time with her from 11am on the Tuesday (Christmas Eve) as the order only states from 4pm but I know my ex will focus on the wording of the order and argue she won’t drop her to me until 4pm. We also have a family birthday on Christmas Eve, so if she refuses contact until 4pm my daughter will miss the family party.

What is everyone’s opinion?
 
I changed your title from contact to child's days with me :-) Maybe your order says "contact" - was it written by ex's solicitor? Sorry just dislike the term - spends time with sounds better.

Anyway if the order says you have 4pm Christmas Eve to 4pm Christmas day then that is what you have at Christmas.

Technically until 4pm on Christmas eve, the usual child arrangements apply so yes it should be from 11am that day because that is your usual scheduled time. And presumably, after Christmas, you wouldn't see the child again until the following week (when you'd have the same problem as that would be New Year's Eve and New Year's day (I think).

So if you usually see the child two days a week, the Christmas arrangements shouldn't be reducing your time, but you'll need to come to some agreements with the ex or you're stuck with what she says probably.

So I'd suggest sending her a friendly message saying something like

"Regarding Christmas arrangements, the order allows for the usual schedule up to 4pm on Christmas Eve, when the Christmas schedule starts, so will be picking up at 11am on Christmas Eve and dropping back at 4pm Christmas Day. We have a party at 1pm on Christmas Eve so xxxxx will enjoy that. As xxxxx normally spends two full days a week with me and won't be seeing me again for another week, I'd like to suggest xxxxx comes for an additional day between Christmas and New Year, if you're in agreement. Alternatively, I could pick up at 4pm on 23rd instead and return 4pm Christmas Day so she has a full two days with me that week. Please let me know your thoughts. Best wishes"

That kind of thing. That way you're explaining that you pick up as usual at 11am rather than asking, but to distract from that you're also asking for a bit of additional time due to getting less than 2 days - so you're more likely not to get a drama over the 11am pick up - if that makes sense.

I used to find if you gave her two options, she might agree to one of them lol. It's like giving kids two choices of food - this one or that one? No other options suggested. But ex's can be more difficult of course. But the 11am thing just state that child is with you as usual up to 4pm Christmas Eve, as per the order. But do it in an upbeat friendly kind of way rather than get into a tense argument or rather than "ask" her, because she'll only get more difficult otherwise.

If she's going to be difficult she will argue but she can't argue with the fact that the child is in your care from 11am on the Tuesday because there is nothing in the order that says the child should be with her at 11am on the Tuesday.

She might argue that if Christmas had been on Friday you'd have been gaining an extra day so the year it falls on Wednesday and you lose a day, balances out with the year you gain a day :rolleyes:
 
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Thank you so much for your help I will definitely get in touch with her and word it the way you have suggested.
Yes that is my next issue as NYE is with Mum this year, the CAO states from 11am NYE (which is Tuesday and my usual time of drop off) to NYD at 6pm meaning I will only have my child from 6pm Wednesday until 11am Thursday which seems silly and a lot of back and forth. So ideally I would suggest changing this but I’m just worried my ex will use her usual line of “stick to the CAO”
 
I'd deal with Christmas first! Then tackle New Year. Yes of course stick to the court order but the court expects, under odd circumstances like this, parents to make sensible arrangements. Of course ex's often aren't reasonable.

Arrangements for Christmas etc are never perfect as it falls on different days each year.

Seems a bit unfair that she gets all of New Year from 11am on NYE to 6pm NYD? Is that just this year and you get it next year?

If she refuses to budge on anything and you get minimal time this year, I'd just accept it but have it up your sleeve if you ever need to return to court - and next year you may end up getting more time - eg your normal two days plus part of Christmas day.
 
A Judge would probably say - tough luck - less this year, more next year - unfortunately.
 
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