Childs Operation

[DadLad]

I've just been informed that our child will need an operation next year. The ex is already making excuses why I don't really need to be there ie: it's a quick procedure, it won't take long and we can discuss this in court etc.

Surely she can't have any control over this?

She has refused any direct communication and will not co-parent in any way.

Cafcass have said (in so many words) that she needs to put her grievances and differences aside and stop making this about herself. She is creating anxiety driven scenarios which are impacting our child and our relationship.

 

[nothernsoul]

Is the operation before or after your court date?

 

[DadLad]

Is the operation before or after your court date?

We are waiting for the operation date/ appointment. This will likely be after the final hearing.

 

[nothernsoul]

If it's after the final hearing I'd wait until then mate and get something agreed in writing for all future medical issues.

It'll save dealing with her noise in the interim.

 

[DadLad]

If it's after the final hearing I'd wait until then mate and get something agreed in writing for all future medical issues.

It'll save dealing with her noise in the interim.

How would it work though because she is beyond awkward, surely she can't stop me just because she doesn't want to be in the same room as me?

 

[nothernsoul]

That's what the court order will be for mate.

What I've realised with mine is that it's an absolute trump card. I'm still doing my best to engage politely and constructively with my ex but when it becomes clear she isn't ready to, I just revert to the CAO.

Try to remember these women probably love control more than anything and her trying this on is an example of that. Secure yourself a water tight court order and you'll have the same rights as her. If she can't be in the same room as you then, with an effective order, she will have no choice but to accept it, back down and stay in her lane.

P.S. Don't call me Shirley

 

[DadLad]

What would a watertight court order look like?

Im requesting that the wording of the order is agreed in court to avoid any ambiguity and underhanded behaviour from her solicitor.

 

[nothernsoul]

Something that allows for no wriggle room or misinterpretation.

Handover times agreed to the minute.

Sharing of holidays etc

Basically mate, these women will seek every opportunity to bend instructions they don't fancy.

Are you represented?

 

[DadLad]

Something that allows for no wriggle room or misinterpretation.

Handover times agreed to the minute.

Sharing of holidays etc

Basically mate, these women will seek every opportunity to bend instructions they don't fancy.

Are you represented?

Self represented, won my FF self represented and intend on self representing for the next hearing.

Court ordered no bar to contact. ICFA recommended unsupervised contact to follow after the reintroduction intervention.

During the ICFA meeting the spiteful ex said no to unsupervised! Has to be supervised by a family member or nothing. Without any justification, simply just control. Won't even allow any family members to meet our child or allow to my city or home. Again, without any justification, simply control.

 

[nothernsoul]

The trouble there mate is that the other party will write up the order from my understanding.

When is the date?

If you can't scramble funds for a barrister making sure you go prepared with almost a pre written order - I can share the wording of mine etc so you don't end up with one that isn't worth the paper it's written on.

It's a tight rope for you mate.

Can't tell you how many times I've privately worshiped the floor my barrister walked on when my ex tries it on.

 

[DadLad]

The trouble there mate is that the other party will write up the order from my understanding.

When is the date?

If you can't scramble funds for a barrister making sure you go prepared with almost a pre written order - I can share the wording of mine etc so you don't end up with one that isn't worth the paper it's written on.

It's a tight rope for you mate.

Can't tell you how many times I've privately worshiped the floor my barrister walked on when my ex tries it on.

Would I submit the proposed order beforehand or present it on the day?