Guest viewing is limited

Child benefit

MountainGoat

MountainGoat

Experienced member
Member
Hi everyone,

I’ve received a letter to say my stbx is making a new claim for child benefit and to reply to say what I am saying.

Until now it’s gone in to our joint account.

I have been advised to just give it up and take myself off it. Is that what others have done?

This is because the children (sadly) spend most of their time in their home with mum.

Do fathers who only see their kids every other weekend and school holidays not get anything?

I’m clueless on this.

Many thanks.
 
Your ex is playing by the same vindictive playbook as mine. As soon as we split and withheld my child and said to the authorities, including the police, that I blocked her from accessing child benefit. She pleaded financial hardship and said she needed it, yet earns a salary far greater than mine. I was my child’s main carer and it was paid into our joint account previously in my name. I had to hand it over. Bottom line is, I think you will have to hand it over too (unless someone else can advise otherwise).
 
That’s what I seem to see online.
Basically if they are with her longer than they are with me (which is simply not fair she got to stay with them instead of me) she will get all the child benefit.

We have to make do.

Stbx has already told CMS the children don’t spend any nights with me which is not true, all to get more money.
She’s even asking me to pay via the 20% more option which I’m refusing to do.

She is going to be raking it in once she gets child benefit and my CMS payments.

And I’m still paying my half of the family home mortgage. CMS don’t seem to care I won’t get able to afford all that.
 
Yes it's best to just inform the bank you're separated and going through a divorce and wish to cease having a joint bank account and leave it in her name only - and just use your own separate bank account.

Are the CMS wanting evidence of what you've paid previously?
 
MountainGoat said:
That’s what I seem to see online.
Basically if they are with her longer then they are with me (which is simply not fair she got to stay with them instead of me) she will get all the child benefit.

We have to make do.

Stbx has already told CMS the children don’t spend any nights with me which is not true, all to get more money.
She’s even asking me to pay via the 20% more option which I’m refusing to do.

She is going to get taking it in once she gets child benefit and my CMS payments.

And I’m still paying my held of the family home. CMS don’t seem to care I won’t get aboe to afford all that.
Click to expand...
This is why you need the divorce financials sorted, so you're no longer having to pay for a house you don't live in. And no, none of it is fair. But it's the way it is. Even if you had stayed in the house and she had left, you'd still have had to pay her CM as she'd have taken the kids with her. Possession is 9/10ths of the law and society sees Mothers as the main parent. Unless you have a court order saying they live with you - which you won't get - not unless she ends up in prison or something. Or unless it's a 50/50 order.

Child benefit is only paid to one parent and they assume it's the Mother - and they wouldn't change that unless you have a court order saying they live with you only. It is actually possible to share the child benefit or split it so one parent gets it for one child and the other parent for another child - but that would only be by agreement with your ex - child benefit office wouldn't do it.
 
Thankyou for your replies.

The CMS had gone on the basis that my ex had said the children spend no nights with me.

I sent a letter to them through the portal detailing my expenses and how it will be impossible to pay that, as well as saying it is not right....the children do spend time with me.
They have now sent me a form to complete about costs but most of it is irrelevent such as talking about boarding school or travel. That's not applicable.
It is the fact I'm paying the mortgage and this court case that I cant afford it all. I wish they could see that.
I am going to chase up the financials so they are finalised quickly. I will tell stbx that I will not be paying the mortage from such a date and that she needs to either buy me out or sell.
 
Be careful - she could retaliate and stop the kids from coming. Try and keep things very formal rather than personal. You could just send a proposal for finalising finances, to her solicitor. I've seen things in Cafcass reports accusing Dads of causing hardship to the kids for stopping paying xyz.

Is the mortgage in joint names?

It is the fact I'm paying the mortgage and this court case that I cant afford it all. I wish they could see that.
Click to expand...
I know, it's not good. But it's the way it is. The amount is assessed on your gross income, less the number of nights, and the only costs allowed usually are for travel, not mortgages. You could reduce the mortgage outgoings by remortgaging on interest only. If you don't pay the mortgage the building society could come after you also. What you need is a clear timescale for a buyout or the house to be sold. In writing.
 
Thankyou Ash.
I am making sure that evetything goes through her solictor. I have now received my pension equivilant value so can crack on with the financials.
This is very important as if it doesnt get sorted I will be bankrupt so I am hoping stbx is ready to do financials too.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top