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Child arrangements problem

I have another question even if court would be against shared care the worst thing for me. Can I still get more than 4 days that my ex said for example 10 days to spend with my son or that will be not possible without shared care. Thank you for your answers. There are very helpful .
 
Usually the minimum number of nights for shared care is 5 nights a fortnight. But it has been known to be done for 4 nights a fortnight. Just looking at your schedule again.
 
1st week: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Working
Saturday, Sunday, Monday -off
Following 2nd week: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday working
Friday Saturday off
Sunday Monday working
Following 3rd week:
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday off
Friday Saturday Sunday Monday working
Following 4th week:
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday off
And after everything start from begining on Tuesday

Ok so based on your days off on current work pattern, the following would work. That would be two consecutive week-ends with you (one of them being a short week-end). Then midweek nights for two weeks. An order is supposed to work around your availability so I can't see why this would be an issue - even though it's a four week pattern instead of a two week pattern. Have I got this right? (Below). It still gives both parents two week-ends each per month, and shares out the midweek time. No doubt your ex will argue this doesn't give a stable pattern for the child, but they get used to any schedule really. Cafcass could be helpful there - especially if you explain you have always had him midweek when you're off work. This gives 9 nights in four weeks (ie 4.5 nights a fornight). If we could find another night somewhere it would help - I think there's a monday off in there that could be added. I can't work out the mondays with your schedule running tuesday to tuesday! Using your week numbers above:

Week 1 - Sat am to Mon am school drop off
Week 2 - Friday from School to Saturday tea time
Week 3 - Tuesday from school to Friday morning school drop off
Week 4 - Tuesday from school to Friday morning school drop off

If you changed to four on four off how would that work? Do you have an example?
 
So yes that actually could work for me what you propose. I'm happy with that schedule. On 4 in 4 off is basically constantly work 4 days then 4 days off. Everything depends what day I start if would be Monday then Monday to Thursday work ten Friday Saturday Sunday Monday off start Tuesday and again 4 days of work. But that obviously if they approve it in work and I can't be 100 % sure that they do. Yesterday I had initial mediation. Today the should contact my ex. Probably she will get really angry. I had my son yesterday because she had go to London. He was so happy when he saw me. Run to me and said I missed you so much.
 
Just to let you know. I had call from mediation. Me ex wasn't interested at all in mediation so only thing I can do is go to court. So I will pay them and they will give me the form. MIAM - Mediation Information and Assessment (FM1) is that the correct document to apply in court??
 
Just to let you know. I had call from mediation. Me ex wasn't interested at all in mediation so only thing I can do is go to court. So I will pay them and they will give me the form. MIAM - Mediation Information and Assessment (FM1) is that the correct document to apply in court??
Yes.
 
If you print off the C100 form the mediation form is a page within the C100. Usually they send you the signed form and you just swap that page out for the blank one in the form (they send you the same page already completed). But they can be slow sending it to you. It could be worth ringing them and saying it's now urgent and you can bring the form in for them to sign so could they please do it when you bring it in and you can take it away with you. Worth a try. They may say no we'll email it to you. But meanwhile get the C100 finished and ready to go.

I would stick with your four week schedule above rather than change to 4 on 4 off as that could be worse if you only ever have time off at week-ends (because then you'd only get every other week-end - ie 4 nights a month). They will never do all week-ends because week-ends are quality time so need to be shared equally. Midweek days are "care time" which is why your ex doesn't want you to have more of them! She will want to be the sole parent with care. By having midweek time it's shared care.

Although that 4 week schedule above works for you, it only equates to 4.5 days a fortnight. It would be better if there was another night in there somewhere (so it equates to 5 nights a fortnight). I think there's a monday you're off in one or two of those weeks but I couldn't work out the mondays with your pattern going tuesday to tuesday. Have a look at it again and let me know it there's a monday can be added one week. Eg after week 4 and before week 1! Presumably there's a monday after that week 4 Tuesday to Friday, and before that Week 1 Sat to Monday.

The next important bit to get completed is the wording for 5b on your C100 form.
 
I'm glad that I never agreed because she propose all weekends for me and that was with intention to say later that I can have only 2 weekends. Yes one of this Mondays he can spend with me because I start my work Tuesday night so I still can drop it on Tuesday day in school. I will try print the form tomorrow and start filling. My ex dosent speak to me at all. I hope she let me have my son a the weekend like she said. If she not let me see my son there is anything I can do about it or I have to wait until I go to court??
 
If she proposed every week-end for you, that's ok, as long as it's by agreement - it can then be a consent order. If a schedule isn't agreed then the court's standard order would be every other week-end with you and one or two midweek overnights. If it's by consent it can be more or less anything half reasonable. But - not much point her suggesting every week-end with you, when you're working two week-ends out of four! Or actually it looks like you maybe have three free week-ends out of four.

So if she agreed to most week-ends with you, another option could be

Week 1 Sat am to Mon am
Week 2 Friday from school to sat pm
Week 3 Wed and Thurs night
Week 4 Thurs from school to Mon am

Which is still only 4.5 out of 14 nights but another night could be worked in there. So if she was willing to do a consent order then that could be ordered by agreement. But it sounds unlikely she would commit the agreement to a consent order. If she didn't agree the court probably wouldn't give you three week-ends out of four.

Hopefully she'll let you see him this week-end. If she doesn't then you could start by sending a brief, formal email reminding her that you both have equal parental responsibility for your son, and he needs time with both of his parents, and request she allows him to come this week-end as usual and say he loves time with both of you and you're happy to discuss anything she wants to discuss.

A stage after that might be a solicitor's letter. But that's why you need to get the application in asap. Hopefully you'd have first hearing within 6 weeks and can get an interim order to get the time back. But you need to tread carefully to be polite and amicable in communications (even if you don't feel like it). Firstly your communications could be good evidence later, Secondly, if you anger her she may just decide to make allegations against you when it goes to court. So keep careful records. If she won't speak to you, do you communicate by text or email?
 
She just proposed that to say later that only can have weekends because she needs two. She doesn't want anything write on paper so any consent it's not possible. She just want to do my life with my son impossible. She says to me change your job if you wanna spend more time with your son. She is like a Queen and I have to do whatever she says and is not like that. It's affecting me but more important is affecting much more my son. I'm considering me a calm person obviously everybody have limits. I contact her by message so I have all conversation and always try to write polite without bad words and only about my son. Only problem that the conversation are in Spanish so I don't know if I will able to use it. I have questions about cafcas how that works. They visit our houses and school?
 
It shouldn't be a problem if texts are in spanish. If you want to use any (maybe a handful) as evidence then you can translate them and then ask a professional translator to certify that translation as accurate - for a one off fee - which shouldn't be very much at all for a few texts.

Every other week-end would be the worst case scenario in court, but they do like midweek overnights so see no reason you shouldn't have those - even if only some weeks and not others. Obviously she will argue this is an unstable schedule and you will need to argue that your son's shared care should continue as before and if you're off work every four weeks why shouldn't you care for him.

Cafcass is usually just a phone call interview. Unless they decide to do a section 7 report and then they can visit you at home to talk to you and the child in school. Are you worried about accommodation approval?
 
I should be ok with the accomodation. Just want to know how cafcass works. Yes 2 weekends would be the worse because she said that I can't pickup my son from school so he will be 3 weeks without seeing me, but I think if they look at welfare of my son I hope they approve all my days off like it was until now. I have another problem now as my ex call back the mediator and said she wants mediation. So she will have the initial mediation. Yesterday she said to me that any mediation will change things or her mind. So now the question. Is better to do one mediation if she wants or just take the Miam form and go to court??
 
I should be ok with the accomodation. Just want to know how cafcass works. Yes 2 weekends would be the worse because she said that I can't pickup my son from school so he will be 3 weeks without seeing me, but I think if they look at welfare of my son I hope they approve all my days off like it was until now. I have another problem now as my ex call back the mediator and said she wants mediation. So she will have the initial mediation. Yesterday she said to me that any mediation will change things or her mind. So now the question. Is better to do one mediation if she wants or just take the Miam form and go to court??
If she's said she willl go to mediation she has to have her initial MIAM, then you can ask to be signed off for C100 purposes.
 
Hmm. I wonder if it's delaying tactics. Why didn't she just say to the mediator she'd come to the next session instead of having her own MIAM? Anyway she's entitled to have her own MIAM. As long as she has it soon. If it's just a delay tactic - ie saying she's going to have one and then sitting on it and cancelling or delaying appointments - then still consider asking to be signed off. Do you know when she is actually having her MIAM? It could be helpful to have mediation because hopefully the mediator could tell her you would get midweek time if it went to court, and you could say you'd like to reach agreement and have a consent order. If she doesn't agree to a consent order then it's clear she doesn't want to commit to any arrangements.
 
She has Miam today or Monday because I called the mediator and they told me they will call me back on Monday. Maybe is delay tactic we see. She told me that nobody will change her mind so I don't know why she wants mediation now. I don't mind go for one session but all that is delay for apply to court so my son only will se me 4 days a month. I will wait till Monday and we see what happen. In the meantime i will try to fill c100 form to be ready for apply to court.
 
If she's stated she has no intention of changing her mind, then she might be having the MIAM so she can apply to court herself for an order. So I think you need your C100 ready to post asap. Like ready now so you can get signed off as soon as possible. It's quite possible she could go for her MIAM and ask to get signed off on the day and put an application in herself. She is probably aware that if you've asked for mediation you'll be applying to court and might want to get in first. But don't worry. As long as you get your application in quick, if they get applications from both of you they will be heard at the same time. But my feeling is, it's usually best to "get in first" if you can.

So as she has said she has no intention of changing her mind, I think you should ask the mediator to sign you off now. Is she going to see the same mediator or a different one? If it's the same one, the mediator might be very reluctant to sign you off until your ex has has her MIAM.

If you think about it, if she's said no-one is going to change her mind, why bother going for a MIAM? Because it's needed to apply to court. I think your application needs to be in first.
 
Thanks for your advice. So I will to that on Monday. Because I can't get now Miam form as is Friday afternoon. But the first thing on Monday I will send that form. I will try to fill everything before Monday so will be ready. If I have any questions I will ask here. That form only can be send by post or you can do it on the computer?
 
Yes I think is the same mediator because that what he actually said is better if you wait till your ex have initial session
 
Thanks for your advice. So I will to that on Monday. Because I can't get now Miam form as is Friday afternoon. But the first thing on Monday I will send that form. I will try to fill everything before Monday so will be ready. If I have any questions I will ask here. That form only can be send by post or you can do it on the computer?
Both. You can do the online application on the computer (but I wouldn't recommend that because you're asking for lives with both parents shared care and there's no option to put that on the online form). Or you can download the pdf and complete it on computer and just keep editing bits and saving them till it's right, then print it out. And you need four copies. One to keep, three to take to court or post. It's more hassle but the pdf form allows you to put that the child lives with both parents and put both addresses (which is the case - you had him half the time and there are no court orders to say otherwise).
 
Ok so I will do it in pdf form. I have question now. I received an email from a mediatior. He said that mediation can proceed if I sign papers so it's looks like me ex agreed. I think she wants delay everything. Now the question is if I apply for Miam form and say I don't wanna proceed then that will look bad for me in court or is better to have one mediation because I can imagine there will be no agreement between us so everything finish after one session. Can you give me some advice as now I'm stuck and I don't know what to do
 
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