Child arrangement suggestions

[Yeboah1]

Currently like a few on here I’m in the very early days of divorce, would like child arrangements to be as amicable as possible. We’ll see on that front.

But what would people suggest is feasible? My wife will be moving back to her mums, not getting into locations exactly on here but it’s inside the M25 and there’s no way I could afford to buy that way.

My hometown is an hour away and I could stretch to a small 2 bed house there. That’s my preference as would give them a great base, I’d also be around my family and friends with similar aged kids meaning there’s a nice network for when they’re with me.

Firstly do you think an hour is too far? Some friends have told me I should lump it and move closer. And also what types of days would be best? I work in London 2 days a week and home (9 until 5) the others. It’s an office job and whilst I haven’t asked, they’re not a particularly flexible company with hours.

My wife would be primary caregiver, would every weekend with me be unfair on her? As she’d never see them at weekends that way. Nights in the week I’d be open to, but would that be too draining on the kids picking them up at say 6 to drive them back to mine and then drop them back the next day? If amicable see them at her mums instead?

Just interested to know how others manage this. I could move closer to one of the towns in between, but would have to be a flat which of course would be fine.

My children are 2 and 4, eldest starts school in September.
New to this, so any advice appreciated.

 

[Yeboah1]

Also if this needs to be moved to the other forum please do. Just felt this was a bit more of a general question and wasn’t sure where it should sit.

 

[Chi22]

I love more than an hour away

Currently like a few on here I’m in the very early days of divorce, would like child arrangements to be as amicable as possible. We’ll see on that front.

But what would people suggest is feasible? My wife will be moving back to her mums, not getting into locations exactly on here but it’s inside the M25 and there’s no way I could afford to buy that way.

My hometown is an hour away and I could stretch to a small 2 bed house there. That’s my preference as would give them a great base, I’d also be around my family and friends with similar aged kids meaning there’s a nice network for when they’re with me.

Firstly do you think an hour is too far? Some friends have told me I should lump it and move closer. And also what types of days would be best? I work in London 2 days a week and home (9 until 5) the others. It’s an office job and whilst I haven’t asked, they’re not a particularly flexible company with hours.

My wife would be primary caregiver, would every weekend with me be unfair on her? As she’d never see them at weekends that way. Nights in the week I’d be open to, but would that be too draining on the kids picking them up at say 6 to drive them back to mine and then drop them back the next day? If amicable see them at her mums instead?

Just interested to know how others manage this. I could move closer to one of the towns in between, but would have to be a flat which of course would be fine.

My children are 2 and 4, eldest starts school in September.
New to this, so any advice appreciated.

I luve more than an hour away from mine and within the M25 corridor to. I see them fortnightly. They tolerated the drive at the age yours are now and frankly they just spent time playing on their tablets or sleeping or we were talking.

I doubt the court would give you every other weekend and (sorry to be blunt) but it's highly unlikely. It would mean your ex would never be able to have any weekend time with them. Some kind of split care could work at this age and be for school starts even at this distance. In the long term I think - given your work schedules you may be able to sort out some shared care but not exactly 50/50. Have a search on this site to see how others split it.