CAO AND CA1 advice needed pls

[Flipsider]

Hello everyone I’m new here and thanks for accepting me in this forum. Dad of 2 here, daughter is 11 and my boy is 8. I need your assistance pls?

After 4 years being separated and divorced in 2020 my ex served me with CAO including allegations of abuse. It was shocking to say the least but we had an almost 50/50 child arrangement agreement between us two and during the past couple of years arrangement dwindled down to me having the kids 30% of the time per month. She even limited me to almost no weekend time with them but I kept it quiet just to keep her sweet. Still she’s not happy and every time I tried to raise the issue of why that is, it just turns downhill from there. She just beat me to asking for a CAO tbh but mine would have been straight forward and no allegations. My question is how do I fill out the respondent form on the CA1, it states for me to make it brief and I will have a chance to voice myself in the hearing. Can I just say “ I deny the allegations” or is it more needed. Many thanks everyone

 

[Resolute]

To get the right advice here, I suggest you share how far off the hearing is. The approach to a standard application is different to "ex parte" or "abridged notice."

The form does not need detail if you have a chance to make a statement to the court before the hearing. Generally, evidence and arguments should not be given up any further in advance than absolutely necessary. Allegations have a habit of shifting as soon as they see how you plan to defend yourself.

 

[Flipsider]

To get the right advice here, I suggest you share how far off the hearing is. The approach to a standard application is different to "ex parte" or "abridged notice."

The form does not need detail if you have a chance to make a statement to the court before the hearing. Generally, evidence and arguments should not be given up any further in advance than absolutely necessary. Allegations have a habit of shifting as soon as they see how you plan to defend yourself.

Hello and thanks for your reply, I just received the CAO paperwork’s from the court last Friday and first hearing is in February 2023. Also I forgot to mention that on the CA1 she is asking for a non mol. It has been 4 years since we were together and I don’t know what her purpose is about. Allegations from when we were still a couple which I can disprove with emails etc etc.

 

[Resolute]

It does not matter a great deal how ridiculous the non-mol application is, or if NM order is ever made. Having that as part of the application makes the process slower and much more difficult. It also sets a tone that favours the applicant.

Is your 30% time with the kids still going ahead? Do you have things agreed for Christmas holidays?

If hearing is not until 2023, I think you should hold your cards regarding the allegations and submit your response on the deadline. Use the time in between to get organised and keep things as sweet as possible with your ex. You might well find that her allegations and demands change at the drop of a hat. I had one hearing where, with no warning, they argued for the exact opposite of what they applied for.

 

[Peanut 21]

Hello everyone I’m new here and thanks for accepting me in this forum. Dad of 2 here, daughter is 11 and my boy is 8. I need your assistance pls?

After 4 years being separated and divorced in 2020 my ex served me with CAO including allegations of abuse. It was shocking to say the least but we had an almost 50/50 child arrangement agreement between us two and during the past couple of years arrangement dwindled down to me having the kids 30% of the time per month. She even limited me to almost no weekend time with them but I kept it quiet just to keep her sweet. Still she’s not happy and every time I tried to raise the issue of why that is, it just turns downhill from there. She just beat me to asking for a CAO tbh but mine would have been straight forward and no allegations. My question is how do I fill out the respondent form on the CA1, it states for me to make it brief and I will have a chance to voice myself in the hearing. Can I just say “ I deny the allegations” or is it more needed. Many thanks everyone

Hi Flipsider,
Sounds like classic vindictive ex.
They suddenly come up with allegations which can be shocking and upsetting.
Has anything changed? Have you met a new partner? Has she?

 

[Scotay]

Hello and thanks for your reply, I just received the CAO paperwork’s from the court last Friday and first hearing is in February 2023. Also I forgot to mention that on the CA1 she is asking for a non mol. It has been 4 years since we were together and I don’t know what her purpose is about. Allegations from when we were still a couple which I can disprove with emails etc etc.

The Non Mol application, how is her financial position?
You sometimes find the application for the Non Mol comes off the back of a scumbag solicitor as gaining this opens the door to Legal Aid.

Like Peanut said what has changed to suddenly make accusations, its usually a new partner, as happened to me.
Trying to get a Non Mol on 4-year old accusations when you have been seeing the kids and interacting since then is laughable.

 

[Flipsider]

Hi Flipsider,
Sounds like classic vindictive ex.
They suddenly come up with allegations which can be shocking and upsetting.
Has anything changed? Have you met a new partner? Has she?

Thanks for your reply mate, yeah she’s cohabitating with a new partner now.

 

[Flipsider]

The Non Mol application, how is her financial position?
You sometimes find the application for the Non Mol comes off the back of a scumbag solicitor as gaining this opens the door to Legal Aid.

Like Peanut said what has changed to suddenly make accusations, its usually a new partner, as happened to me.
Trying to get a Non Mol on 4-year old accusations when you have been seeing the kids and interacting since then is laughable.

Hey mate, she comes from money so I doubt it’s legal aid. These sort of things shouldn’t really happen as it’s a distressing situation from everyone but I guess it’s a standard practice for someone to get a leverage against the respondent. Her request for NM is really a shamble, just last night she picked the children up from our usual neutral drop off place and she chose to park next to my car. It’s all documented with videos just to cover my behind. I can’t trust anyone at this stage.

 

[Flipsider]

It does not matter a great deal how ridiculous the non-mol application is, or if NM order is ever made. Having that as part of the application makes the process slower and much more difficult. It also sets a tone that favours the applicant.

Is your 30% time with the kids still going ahead? Do you have things agreed for Christmas holidays?

If hearing is not until 2023, I think you should hold your cards regarding the allegations and submit your response on the deadline. Use the time in between to get organised and keep things as sweet as possible with your ex. You might well find that her allegations and demands change at the drop of a hat. I had one hearing where, with no warning, they argued for the exact opposite of what they applied for.

Hello Resolute,

Yeah, time with the children hasn’t stopped just yet and we do have an agreed arrangement for Christmas. She will be taking the children to Hawaii (we both have families living there) so I will be going as well ( but away from her ) and I will get the kids from the 27 til the 31st of December. We had an agreed parenting plan that we both signed when I first moved out (not court stamped) and part of the agreement is we alternate Christmas holidays, she had the children last year and now to just make it peaceful, I didn’t raise a fuss about her having them again. Still she wants more

 

[Peanut 21]

Thanks for your reply mate, yeah she’s cohabitating with a new partner now.

What a surprise. I'm the partner of a dad. This happened when he met me. He was civil with his ex, then boom allegations of domestic abuse to her and kids. Been 4 years of back to court, further allegations and kids alienated from their dad. In thick of hearings again now.

 

[Flipsider]

Hello Resolute,

Yeah, time with the children hasn’t stopped just yet and we do have an agreed arrangement for Christmas. She will be taking the children to Hawaii (we both have families living there) so I will be going as well ( but away from her ) and I will get the kids from the 27 til the 31st of December. We had an agreed parenting plan that we both signed when I first moved out (not court stamped) and part of the agreement is we alternate Christmas holidays, she had the children last year and now to just make it peaceful, I didn’t raise a fuss about her having them again. Still she wants more

Sorry resolute but can you advise me on what I write in response to her allegations on the C1A pls? I’m just not sure on how in depth I should go. Thanks

 

[Scotay]

Hey mate, she comes from money so I doubt it’s legal aid. These sort of things shouldn’t really happen as it’s a distressing situation from everyone but I guess it’s a standard practice for someone to get a leverage against the respondent. Her request for NM is really a shamble, just last night she picked the children up from our usual neutral drop off place and she chose to park next to my car. It’s all documented with videos just to cover my behind. I can’t trust anyone at this stage.

New man on the go to fill the family dynamic, basically you are being replaced.

Non Mol after 4 years is a joke and easily defendable, if it had any substance it would have been awarded ex-parti and landed on you. Its being asked for to keep you out the picture for months.

Fill in the C100 disputing the allegations, its up for her to prove it not you to disprove, the fact you have been managing to sort it out between you for 4 years show there are no issues.
Prepare to get your access denied in the short term with safeguarding concerns thrown in.

 

[Ash]

Can you screenshot the response form and message it to me? There will also be a response to the C100 in which you have the opportunity to ask for your own order and can explain a few things. Like- there is a parenting agreement that has been in place for x years with no issues and Mrs Ex has recently started a new relationship. Other than that, you are bemused as to why this has happened now.

 

[Resolute]

Sorry resolute but can you advise me on what I write in response to her allegations on the C1A pls? I’m just not sure on how in depth I should go. Thanks

Just do not reveal arguments you want to use in court.

 

[Flipsider]

Can you screenshot the response form and message it to me? There will also be a response to the C100 in which you have the opportunity to ask for your own order and can explain a few things. Like- there is a parenting agreement that has been in place for x years with no issues and Mrs Ex has recently started a new relationship. Other than that, you are bemused as to why this has happened now.

Thanks mate, I’ll send it to you later when I get home from work. Very much appreciated

 

[Flipsider]

Can you screenshot the response form and message it to me? There will also be a response to the C100 in which you have the opportunity to ask for your own order and can explain a few things. Like- there is a parenting agreement that has been in place for x years with no issues and Mrs Ex has recently started a new relationship. Other than that, you are bemused as to why this has happened now.

I’ve sent it to you thanks

 

[Flipsider]

New man on the go to fill the family dynamic, basically you are being replaced.

Non Mol after 4 years is a joke and easily defendable, if it had any substance it would have been awarded ex-parti and landed on you. Its being asked for to keep you out the picture for months.

Fill in the C100 disputing the allegations, its up for her to prove it not you to disprove, the fact you have been managing to sort it out between you for 4 years show there are no issues.
Prepare to get your access denied in the short term with safeguarding concerns thrown in.

Thanks for your reply Scotay, I’m hoping that interim access will be in place until court decides. Fingers crossed

 

[StayStrong]

Hello, welcome, and just to enter the astonished fray of wtf is going on here, I will add that there should be no change to the well established (albeit diminshed) child arrangements.

What child safeguarding and welfare concerns are there here?

And, if I may ask, why have you let the 50/50 slip to where it is now? Protecting your PR is important, what's changed for you for this to happen?

SS.

 

[Flipsider]

Hello pal, I think I misspoke somehow. There is no court ordered CAO but a parenting plan that we drafted, agreed on and signed before I left the house. I let it slide a bit I know but this is due to the fact that the children are getting affected by us 2 having disagreements so to make it easier for everyone most especially the kids, I just took it on the chin. Big mistake. You offer a hand but she wants the whole arm so to speak. Tbh, I’m quite happy to just have the children 30% of the time now if it means stability for the children. I just want to not worry about whether the children will turn up on the agreed time and date, it happens almost every time I do pick ups. I’m tired of it.

 

[Flipsider]

Hello, welcome, and just to enter the astonished fray of wtf is going on here, I will add that there should be no change to the well established (albeit diminshed) child arrangements.

What child safeguarding and welfare concerns are there here?

And, if I may ask, why have you let the 50/50 slip to where it is now? Protecting your PR is important, what's changed for you for this to happen?

SS.

She’s claiming parental alienation and abuses to her. After 4 years and now this. I deny all of her accusations and I have proofs.