CAO and breaches for 13 year old

[doneover2025]

After some advice. My child is 13, we have a shared live with order. She's now refusing to spend her contact weekends with me (much to her mother's delight). Mother's solicitor is saying there's nothing I can do about the breaches in court order as my child is now 13. We have proven breaches and there's plenty of proof of alienation at play here. Any advice on where I stand on a legal front or are court orders not worth a penny?

Her solicitors are suggesting mediation but I am not sure how I can mediate with a narcissist?

 

[Peanut 21]

Welcome.
You're in a common position when it comes to narcissistic type exs and parental alienation.
These types of 'mothers' tend to wait until the child is of an age where they have Gillick compency and can decide what they'd like to do. It's an awful situation to put children in because it breeds entitlement and disrespect towards one parent and will have huge repercussions further down the line.
You could try the mediation just to say you've tried, although I totally agree with you that there's no negotiating with a narcissist.
You could then try court but it's likely they'll take your daughters (highly influenced) wishes and feelings seriously.
Do you have much dealings with her school?

 

[doneover2025]

Welcome.
You're in a common position when it comes to narcissistic type exs and parental alienation.
These types of 'mothers' tend to wait until the child is of an age where they have Gillick compency and can decide what they'd like to do. It's an awful situation to put children in because it breeds entitlement and disrespect towards one parent and will have huge repercussions further down the line.
You could try the mediation just to say you've tried, although I totally agree with you that there's no negotiating with a narcissist.
You could then try court but it's likely they'll take your daughters (highly influenced) wishes and feelings seriously.
Do you have much dealings with her school?

Thank you, that's kind of what I thought. Yes, I have spoken at length with school recently although I think they are very influenced by my ex (it's a private school and she pays the fees).

 

[Peanut 21]

I bet the school has said to you they're neutral?

 

[doneover2025]

I bet the school has said to you they're neutral?

They are claiming to be but there are things which show they aren't. I am in regular communication now with the head so some progress is being made. School would like our daughter to see the school counsellors too but my ex is resistant to this and says daughter's behaviour is normal teenage behaviour.

 

[Peanut 21]

It's very telling the ex is resistant.
Any normal parent is happy for their child to speak to someone if it helps.
For what it's worth, my partner is in a similar boat to you.
He's struggling to get the school to see what's going on with his kids and it feels like they've been heavily influenced by the ex.

 

[doneover2025]

It sounds like we've both had very similar experiences.