Hi there,
I wondered if anyone had some advice, this is a difficult situation and I would kindly request some words of help. I'm going to post the full story so far.
On another note, I know I should have done something about this some time ago.
I had a short relationship some years ago, with a lady that I knew, not long after we had been seeing each other she said that she was pregnant, this rang alarm bells as just looking at conception dates etc this didn't add up, and she gave birth much earlier than she 'disclosed' she was due to, during the time she was pregnant I supported her financially with pretty much everything she wanted, despite some niggling doubts, this was during COVID so a difficult situation all round. During this time I was subject to relentless unpleasantness from the mother.
Once the child was born, I went over to meet the child (don't forget this was during COVID) and, rightly or wrongly completed a DNA test (this was done completely honestly through saliva swabs for both of us, as I HAD to know at this point- and I still have all the recording of this)
It came back negative, according to the test I completed I am not the father of this child.
The afternoon I got the test back about 5 weeks later, the mother was ringing me very aggressively, saying that I need to sign the birth certificate. I asked her if we could do a DNA test (she became extremely angry and volatile at that point)
(I didn't sign the certificate, however I think she has likely named myself as the father)
That week, I was upset (I think you will agree understandably) I sent her a grand from my bank account- as well as the other money monthly.
I sent that money and then stopped as I knew what had happened.
I've had threats on and off, but that all escalated a little bit this year, reasons for that are below.
I cut her off because of my doubts, and I honestly should have dealt with all this sooner, I thought that some kind of sense and actual honesty will prevail, but I was wrong.
Fast forward 4 years on, I've had a big chunk of my wages deducted by the CMS, no contact, no letter, just a big chunk out of my wages supposed to be for the CSM.
At the same time I found out that she is having another child, I should think hence the pressure on payments etc.
Who is paying for who and what the actual hell do I do now?
Do I battle this out with the CMS and contest parentage (baring in mind I have had no correspondence with them whatsoever apart from seeing money being taken out of my wages)
I feel sorry for the child, my thought process is that the mother doesn't know who the father is (I believe she was seeing a deadbeat chap before me) or does know and is seeing an easy buck, she's not someone that I would want to get into a discussion with about this directly as she can turn very aggressive very quickly, and if I approach her I fear that false allegations may be made against me, they have been in the past.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you
I wondered if anyone had some advice, this is a difficult situation and I would kindly request some words of help. I'm going to post the full story so far.
On another note, I know I should have done something about this some time ago.
I had a short relationship some years ago, with a lady that I knew, not long after we had been seeing each other she said that she was pregnant, this rang alarm bells as just looking at conception dates etc this didn't add up, and she gave birth much earlier than she 'disclosed' she was due to, during the time she was pregnant I supported her financially with pretty much everything she wanted, despite some niggling doubts, this was during COVID so a difficult situation all round. During this time I was subject to relentless unpleasantness from the mother.
Once the child was born, I went over to meet the child (don't forget this was during COVID) and, rightly or wrongly completed a DNA test (this was done completely honestly through saliva swabs for both of us, as I HAD to know at this point- and I still have all the recording of this)
It came back negative, according to the test I completed I am not the father of this child.
The afternoon I got the test back about 5 weeks later, the mother was ringing me very aggressively, saying that I need to sign the birth certificate. I asked her if we could do a DNA test (she became extremely angry and volatile at that point)
(I didn't sign the certificate, however I think she has likely named myself as the father)
That week, I was upset (I think you will agree understandably) I sent her a grand from my bank account- as well as the other money monthly.
I sent that money and then stopped as I knew what had happened.
I've had threats on and off, but that all escalated a little bit this year, reasons for that are below.
I cut her off because of my doubts, and I honestly should have dealt with all this sooner, I thought that some kind of sense and actual honesty will prevail, but I was wrong.
Fast forward 4 years on, I've had a big chunk of my wages deducted by the CMS, no contact, no letter, just a big chunk out of my wages supposed to be for the CSM.
At the same time I found out that she is having another child, I should think hence the pressure on payments etc.
Who is paying for who and what the actual hell do I do now?
Do I battle this out with the CMS and contest parentage (baring in mind I have had no correspondence with them whatsoever apart from seeing money being taken out of my wages)
I feel sorry for the child, my thought process is that the mother doesn't know who the father is (I believe she was seeing a deadbeat chap before me) or does know and is seeing an easy buck, she's not someone that I would want to get into a discussion with about this directly as she can turn very aggressive very quickly, and if I approach her I fear that false allegations may be made against me, they have been in the past.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you