Cafcass safeguarding call

[Wilkins]

hi all,
I'm going to have my cafcass call in few weeks, and am trying to prepare for it. Bit of background - daughter is living with me, court hearings are in place, and judge ordered cafcass engagement in last hearing. Ex has obviously made all the allegations that she could, and I have raised concerns about abuse from mother to daughter and myself, which is why cafcass is engaged now. I've been reading the forums and understand that one shouldn't say anything negative about mother, rather keep the conversations kids focused.
However, I am still trying to figure out how to prepare a response to some complex scenarios in case cafcass asks me, such as
1. do you think there is risk to daughter with mother
2. was mother controlling towards your daughter
3. do you want mother to have contact with your daughter.
Now, I know that mother was abusive towards my daughter who is now scared of her and doesn't want to have contact with her. So if I say anything negative for the above questions (like - mothers nature is abusive & controlling and my daughter is not willing to meet her), will cafcass consider me under category as parent with conflict or can order s7 meeting? I am very much confused whether to tell cafcass what my daughter has told me (i.e. how she was abused by mother, and her wishes to not have any contact with mother) or shall I say something like I want my daughter to have care from both parents.

Any response will be highly appreciated.

 

[Wilkins]

Adding to thr above - cafcass will also interview my daughter as well.

 

[Resolute]

Is Cafcass doing a Section 7 report or a safeguarding letter?

If police have been involved, that should be captured by a safeguarding letter. If your daughter was abused by your ex and police have not been involved. It might be worth her making a report.

Wait and see what other members say about the conversation with Cafcass. I think the general advice on here is based on situations where the dad is the one trying to get time with the kid(s).

 

[Razbert]

Are you the Applicant and the mother the Respondent? Was the first hearing the FHDRA or was there one before that?, If it was the FHDRA then you must have already had the Cafcass safeguarding call and the resulting letter will have been the subject of the FHDRA. What was ordered at that hearing - contact, S7 report, fact-finding etc?

You're correct about parental conflict, but in this case you're trying to show that you don't want conflict but would like cooperation from the mother to be able for both of you to meet all your daughter's needs together without any risks or fear. But unfortunately due to the mother's continuing attitude and unwillingness to change, you have concluded that contact is still undesirable.

Certainly you should share your daughter's fears and prior history of the mother's abuse and coercive control, because how will the court know otherwise? What you and your daughter tell Cafcass will reinforce your view to the court that sadly at the moment, your ex is an unfit mother. Nevertheless, the court may order supervised contact which will have the effect of allowing your daughter to have contact with her mother in the safe environment of a contact centre where the supervising social worker will assess the interaction between the mother and child and write a report so that the court can determine the next steps for the welfare of the child. In the event that your daughter doesn't was to go - because she is frightened of her mother, you as her resident parent will have to help her overcome her fears and reassure her that this is what the judge wants her to do - which will be in her best interest in the long run. Make sure that you don't inadvertently alienate your daughter against her mother, otherwise the mother will certainly use that against you. Try to make your daughter realise that she really does eventually need both parents in her life - not just her dad.

You have to trust that Cafcass understand that in these cases where conflict in a relationship was as a result of abuse by one party against a child, then that conflict was a justified protective measure to ensure the child's wellbeing.

 

[Wilkins]

Is Cafcass doing a Section 7 report or a safeguarding letter?

If police have been involved, that should be captured by a safeguarding letter. If your daughter was abused by your ex and police have not been involved. It might be worth her making a report.

Wait and see what other members say about the conversation with Cafcass. I think the general advice on here is based on situations where the dad is the one trying to get time with the kid(s).

its a safeguarding call.
police is not involved, so what you're saying is my daughter can still make a police complaint?

 

[Wilkins]

Are you the Applicant and the mother the Respondent? Was the first hearing the FHDRA or was there one before that?, If it was the FHDRA then you must have already had the Cafcass safeguarding call and the resulting letter will have been the subject of the FHDRA. What was ordered at that hearing - contact, S7 report, fact-finding etc?

You're correct about parental conflict, but in this case you're trying to show that you don't want conflict but would like cooperation from the mother to be able for both of you to meet all your daughter's needs together without any risks or fear. But unfortunately due to the mother's continuing attitude and unwillingness to change, you have concluded that contact is still undesirable.

Certainly you should share your daughter's fears and prior history of the mother's abuse and coercive control, because how will the court know otherwise? What you and your daughter tell Cafcass will reinforce your view to the court that sadly at the moment, your ex is an unfit mother. Nevertheless, the court may order supervised contact which will have the effect of allowing your daughter to have contact with her mother in the safe environment of a contact centre where the supervising social worker will assess the interaction between the mother and child and write a report so that the court can determine the next steps for the welfare of the child. In the event that your daughter doesn't was to go - because she is frightened of her mother, you as her resident parent will have to help her overcome her fears and reassure her that this is what the judge wants her to do - which will be in her best interest in the long run. Make sure that you don't inadvertently alienate your daughter against her mother, otherwise the mother will certainly use that against you. Try to make your daughter realise that she really does eventually need both parents in her life - not just her dad.

You have to trust that Cafcass understand that in these cases where conflict in a relationship was as a result of abuse by one party against a child, then that conflict was a justified protective measure to ensure the child's wellbeing.

I am the respondent. so far we've had directions hearing and soon I'll have cafcass safeguarding call.
Thanks for understanding, and reassuring that I can share my kids thoughts and my concerns to cafcass, and it will not be taken as a conflict with parents or as alienation, as I'm sure my ex would make all the possible attempts to portray alienation.

 

[Wilkins]

@Razbert so for the below questions, can I answer them truthfully and share my views/concerns?
1. do you think there is risk to daughter with mother
2. was mother controlling towards your daughter
3. do you want mother to have contact with your daughter - for this one, knowing that mother was abusive and that was traumatic for my daughter, shall I still say that I am ok for mother to have contact with kid if there's no safeguarding issues?

 

[Razbert]

@Razbert so for the below questions, can I answer them truthfully and share my views/concerns?
1. do you think there is risk to daughter with mother
2. was mother controlling towards your daughter
3. do you want mother to have contact with your daughter - for this one, knowing that mother was abusive and that was traumatic for my daughter, shall I still say that I am ok for mother to have contact with kid if there's no safeguarding issues?

Always be truthful! Especially if you have safeguarding concerns. (but sometimes hold your tongue if you're angry!)
Your answers can be very straightforward:-
1. Yes, the daughter is at risk with the mother
2. Yes, the mother was controlling our daughter in a harmful way [coercive control]
3. I feel that contact with the mother is inappropriate at the present - neither me nor my daughter want it due our safeguarding concerns.

As I said in your other post regarding contact - let your daughter talk to Cafcass straight away about her fears about not seeing her mother. Don't wait for the safeguarding call to bring it up - let your daughter know her issues are real and support her to seek their help!

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/children-and-young-people/i-am-worried-and-need-help

You could also consider helping your daughter to seek advice from the police about making a report. Do you know if there has been any referral to the local authority MASH team regarding abuse? That may be another approach.