CAFCASS interview questioning

[Oneofmany]

Hi all, at some point in the nearish future I'll be doing the CAFCASS interview. I'm subject to undertakings after the usual allegations, abuse's alcohol, smokes weed, controlling and cohersive .... and she also got me arrested that went NFA, you know how its goes. I personally haven't got any issues with my my children's living arrangements apart from the fact I'm shut out. I do speak to my daughter on the phone and play xbox pretty much every night online with my little man

My question is how do Cafcass frame their questions when the ex has made the allegations such as these. I did used to drink casually and on occasion and did smoke which my ex was aware of but never to excess???

Cheers

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

you may find that CAFCASS won't even mention a lot of allegations, simply as they are not relevant. Which interview? safeguarding or section 7 report ?

Drink and drugs will probably come up, just be honest and say you don't anymore (assuming you don't).
What they will be looking for , are the children safe, are the parents in conflict, what are their expectations moving forward.

So, dont take pops at the ex and keep it all child focused.
If you go on the offensive, you'll be seen as the parents in conflict, and the risk is that they would then reduce or stop your contact - as parent conflict is a known red flag for children who are stuck in the middle. Yes, there is always one unreasonable parent (which is why we are all here) , but let cafcass work that out for themselves, simply deny allegations that are not true, but dont go on the attack.

The safeguarding call is usually on the phone, so be somewhere it is quiet and you have a good signal, put aside 60-90 minutes.

 

[Oneofmany]

Thanks Newcastle, its the pre First hearing interview. The Ex and I don't communicate at all, we both don't want to too and my undertakings wont allow it anyway. Haven't drank (or anything else) at all for ages through choice as due to her allegations.

I'm just focused on being the better person as you say above, thanks!

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

ok, so that will be the safeguarding interview. CAFCASS will try to find a brief background. Allegations may come up, simply state that you are disappointed that she feels the need to make allegations. They will ask about the kids, your involvement with them, what they like to do, living arrangements and stuff, there overarching aim is to ensure the children are safe and their well being and welfare is your priority, rather than the battle with the ex.

Get a piece of paper and put in big letters

Stay child focused
don't take a pop at the ex
listen to the question completely before answering.

It can take an hour, as for how it goes, it depends on the cafcass officer. My second one that did the section 7 report was amazing, really really good and has probably been my single biggest stroke of luck. Where as the judge in my first hearing was a frosty horrible woman who had already made her mind up before she sat down.

 

[Oneofmany]

Thank you. So that raises a question. If the ex (who isn't letting me see the children based on her opinions) has had her interview and spouted all her rubbish and allegations, then I have mine and handle as above, then how is that interpreted by CAFCASS??? a red flag?????

 

[henry23]

My cafass annoyed me wanted me to spend 20 minutes going on about the past despite making it clear. It's over was 10 years ago since we split!! Yet wanted me to go into how we met how we split what was the routine when we were together regarding looking after my son. Ridiculous. I told her can we bring this to the present and what's going on. But no insistent on me answering.
Then brought up allegations of I robbed £200 from my ex over 10 years ago and that's why we spilt. I'm like are we really getting into such lies and I'm having to answer these.
I didn't want to go into the past as I wanted to keep it child focused clearly my ex spend forever on it clearly left out the reason why I left was because she spat on my face that was the last straw and one week later a man moves in. Clearly he was around whilst I was with her. But I never mentioned this to cafcass and said she wasn't my type of personality I stayed for my son as long I could but but mlmy mental health suffered and the spitting infront of my son could no longer continue. Ileft.

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

just deny any false allegations, you dont need to show any evidence or argue about , simply state that you deny them and you are disappointed that your ex feels the need to make them.

There is always disagreement , but thats not "parents in conflict" , we would not be here, and the courts would be empty if everyone was reasonable.

You just need to ensure that you remain calm, they will want to talk about allegations, simply to decide if they are relevant to your children and your case.

So not its not a red flag, there are always allegations.

oh, and dont make any yourself - just bat away hers.

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

My cafass annoyed me wanted me to spend 20 minutes going on about the past despite making it clear. It's over was 10 years ago since we split!! Yet wanted me to go into how we met how we split what was the routine when we were together regarding looking after my son. Ridiculous. I told her can we bring this to the present and what's going on. But no insistent on me answering.
Then brought up allegations of I robbed £200 from my ex over 10 years ago and that's why we spilt. I'm like are we really getting into such lies and I'm having to answer these.
I didn't want to go into the past as I wanted to keep it child focused clearly my ex spend forever on it clearly left out the reason why I left was because she spat on my face that was the last straw and one week later a man moves in. Clearly he was around whilst I was with her. But I never mentioned this to cafcass and said she wasn't my type of personality I stayed for my son as long I could but but mlmy mental health suffered and the spitting infront of my son could no longer continue. Ileft.

bringing up a trivial allegation like that, that occurred 10 years ago and is not relevant to family court is very questionable and the court will take no interest in it.

 

[Oneofmany]

Ahh I see, thank you

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Ahh I see, thank you

my last point is so so so important.

never , ever make allegations to cafcass.

There is a time and a place to start fighting back, but not with CAFCASS , thats wrong place, wrong time, wrong person !

if there are allegations and counter allegations made to cafcass, that will raise the idea of parents in conflict.

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Ahh I see, thank you

By the way, welcome to this forum. There are some amazing people on here and you will learn a great deal by reading through the forum. You're at the start of a long journey, so buckle up and get comfortable.

 

[Oneofmany]

Thanks man, I've learnt so much. Its taken a while to get my head round all that's going on coupled with the constant heartache of not being the part of their lives I should be.

Even this has stirred up more questions/worrys. I was always worked alot and probably didn't do my fair share of home life and no doubt that'll be thrown at me as if I didn't contribute apart from financially. I financially supported her and that's been thrown back at me!

After all she's done, I'd still never do or say anything against her to anyone other than very trusted people and that's only about how she's treating me. I haven't got any accusations to make, she is a good mum. Pity she thinks so much less of me.

Since the split although I do speak to my 16 year old girl, its very limited conversations as she's quire stand offish as I have to assume she either been told or listened in on conversations her mothers had about the situation and why. My lad on the other had cant get enough of online gaming time and laughing at his dads very limited skills, lol.

The time thing is hard, long boring days and evenings with no one around. Rattling around the empty house, tbh almost did for me. But, am getting stronger by the day and starting to using the time to my advantage..... so hard tho

 

[Ash]

You've had good advice above. Sometimes they (Cafcass) just chat generally for a while and then throw a fast ball. Eg they might be quite friendly and chat generally and then suddenly say "Mrs Ex says you're an alcoholic - what do you say?" I sometimes think they do this to get a reaction! Don't give them an angry reaction. You can take a moment to pause and collect yourself and then as Newcastle says above - you say something like "I'm sorry she has made this allegation - and it's untrue". Or you might add "I think Mrs Ex is upset that I have made this application". Then change the subject onto your kids - talk about what they like doing with you - what you know about them. Their hobbies and interests. Whenever you talk about your kids you sound genuine and enthusiastic and they pick that up. And don't say anything negative about the ex. If anything try and say something positive about her - like she's a good cook or whatever. Grit your teeth! What they want to hear is that Dad is child focused and wants to co parent amicably. So the other mantra is (if you get stuck for something to say) "I just want the children to have happy loving relationships with both parents".

 

[henry23]

 I can't even say the good cook part

 

[Oneofmany]

Sorry to bump this. I made my C100 2 weeks ago. Given the timescales involved (6-8 weeks I believe but I many be wrong) when should I expect a call from CAFCASS?

Cheers

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Sorry to bump this. I made my C100 2 weeks ago. Given the timescales involved (6-8 weeks I believe but I many be wrong) when should I expect a call from CAFCASS?

Cheers

you will receive an email , using a secure system called Egress. You will get an email with instructions on how to use egress and register to use it so as to view the email. The email will inform of you of the CAFCASS call and the date , time and the name of the officer who is going to call you. The letter will also ask you to confirm any personal details , or fill in any that are missing.

The email will arrive in plenty of time , days or weeks ahead of the scheduled call, so you wont just get one out of the blue.

 

[Grant55]

I have recently had a S7 interview. There are low level allegations of controlling behaviour and violence. CAFCASS use the DASH checklist. If you Google this, you'll find plenty of information on it.

Essentially, CAFCASS cover what is listed below and ask the 'accuser' for examples of behaviour for each bullet point. When it's your turn, they ask you the same questions to see if you feel you have been a 'victim'. They then tell you what your ex has said in relation to each bullet point and you get a chance to respond.

The CAFCASS officer who conducted my S7 made it clear they can only report what has been said by each of you, they do not make judgements. ( Can't help feeling they would have some of this in the back of their minds though, when deciding on your future with your children).

It is well worth familiarising yourself with this. I wish I had known before my S7 and it's only because the CAFCASS officer mentioned DASH, I was able to Google it afterwards. Having said that, even if I had been aware, my ex's allegations were so random and at times bizarre, I'm not sure how much it would have helped me.

The one thing that was clear, is CAFCASS, (because I suppose they have to), have written down any old nonsense my ex came up with. And I'm talking about things from 10 or 15 years ago, sometimes with a tiny element of truth, but twisted out of all context and some things just complete lies.

As others have said, just calmly deny everything. This isn't a fact finding hearing and if the allegations are serious then I would imagine that is where this sort of thing needs to be addressed.

I hope this helps and apologies if this has already been covered before.

This is what the DASH assessment covers:

Restricting freedom​

• My partner isolated me from family and friends
• My partner told me what to wear
• I was not allowed to go out without permission
• I was not allowed to use the car
• Medical care was denied to me or to the children
• I had to account for my time when I had been out
• My partner was jealous about who I spoke to when I was out
• I was accused of having affairs
• I was deprived of basic needs/food/sleep
• My partner tracked my phone location to monitor my whereabouts
• My partner monitored my messages, e mails and social media account

Emotional abuse​

• My partner belittled and abused me in front of the children
• My partner insulted me in front of family and friends
• My partner insulted my appearance
• My partner called me names and swore at me
• My partner had rules which I had to follow
• My partner withdrew affection
• My partner threatened to find me if I left
• My partner did not let me tend to the children
• My partner told me I was stupid or crazy
• My partner instructed the children to abuse me

Intimidation and threats​

• My partner physically abused me
• My partner used the threat of physical abuse to control me
• My partner changed their mood for no reason
• My partner destroyed my or the children’s possessions
• My partner threatened to harm or did harm the children as a punishment to me
• My partner threatened to or did ruin planned events
• My partner threatened to take the children away
• My partner threatened to kill me in a way which made me believe it
• My partner raped me
• My partner humiliated me sexually
• My partner abused the family pet
• My partner drove the car in a reckless manner
• My partner blamed me for making them angry
• Economic abuse
• My partner denied me money
• I was not allowed to spend money on myself or the children
• I had to account for everything I spent
• I had to ask for basic necessities
• My partner spent money on themselves only
• I was kept in the dark as to our finances
• My partner went through my belongings for evidence of spending