CAFCASS Experiences

[Ash]

Hi @JC83 what parenting courses did you do and where can they be found?? @Ash might be worth a sticky somewhere so they can be found by existing and new members easily?? TIA

At the moment there's just this thread stickied

Y

Thread 'Triple P (Positive Parenting Course) is court approved.'

Jul 5, 2024

I am just posting this here to help other Dads advised to complete a parenting course. The Positive Parenting Programme also called the Triple P is accepted by the court.
It costs £85 and can be competed in days before your hearing.

It is different from the Parenting Together course by CAFCASS.

I completed mine after seeing the CAFCASS report and it was accepted by the court.

It saves a lot of time in resuming contact with the children.

All the best

• Yomi
• Replies: 6
• Forum: Child Arrangements, court applications, problems

• 

And this info on the home page

Article 'SPIP course replaced with Planning Together for Children'

Parenting courses are sometimes ordered by the courts, to help parents try to resolve issues in the best interests of the children, and hope it leads to agreement. SPIP courses (Separated Parents Information Programme) have been in place for a number of years, but have now been replaced with...

• Ash
• Jun 24, 2021
• 2 min read
• Reaction score: 1
• Comments: 6
• Category: Dads with Kids Home Page

 

[Oneofmany]

Thanks @Peanut 21 I’ve reached out to my GP surgery this afternoon who said they can do me a letter for Court. It will cost, but at least I’ll have it.

Ex also told the police I get drunk and abuse drugs (more lies, I can’t remember the last time I had any alcohol and I certainly don’t abuse drugs) so I’ll get the GP to cover that in the letter to in case she mentions it at court.

I mean really, that’s a low blow eh! An ex ripping a child away from a father then accusing him of mental health problems! Who wouldn’t have depression after that. I’ve had treatment and been given coping strategies but I’d be more worried about dads who weren’t depressed if this were to happen to them.

This

 

[Brighton with 2 kids]

I thought the first CAFCASS meeting went well, until I got sandbagged and ignored. CAFCASS said their report would be sent to me 2 weeks before the court date. My ex got the report. I got a copy 5min before the court hearing. There were numerous errors, omissions and down right falsehoods in the report (they didn't even get my name or dob right)

There was a S7 ordered and this new CAFCASS officer was a bit better.

I definitely remember her asking me if my daughter didn't want to see me (as my ex kept saying) is it in her best interest. I maintained that it's best for her to know both parents. But she kept asking if I thought it was in my daughters best interest or not.

I informed her that I attended the separated parents information program on my own and paid for it, she still recommended I attended it again though.

Overall, I felt like I was always having to justify why I should be allowed to see my daughter and all my concerns about my ex were being ignored.

I'm afraid that sounds like standard Cafcass experience - certainly widespread. Your case isn't at Brighton family Court is it?

 

[Brighton with 2 kids]

How it goes may depend on the individual FCA (Cafcass Officer) but one thing to remember is that they are probably trying to provoke you to be angry - so they can say "Look he's an angry man, mustn't let him near children". So, even if it is difficult try to stay calm and reasonable even if they, or your ex, aren't.

 

[TheSoul]

just had the first initial phone call from cafcass.
She did her absolute best to twist my words and the situation.
FYI my son is in my care by court order, i got the feeling she didnt appreciate or like this.

 

[Ash]

Typical. Anti men brigade.

 

[it89]

Hi all
I just received my first cafcass child Impact Report which really makes me speechless when I read it.
So my call with cafcass was positive things not mentioning all the alienation controlling behaviour that my ex has been doing and making my kids follow with what she is saying. So being coached into saying only things they didn't like at mine, like me taking their phones away or making them do extra homework.

Mums cafcass call according to the report was just saying how bad I am to the kids and how bad my extended family are to the kids which are all allegations and not true.

My daughters reports during a school visit was again just saying what they don't like at mine, and forgetting all the good things we do together so on paper just makes me look really bad.

The cafcass report didn't add everything we talked about, she missed important information, picked out the worst quotes on the conversation. Believed all her allegations with no proof and made her recommendation for contact only in a public place for me to see my daughters because of safeguarding issues mum claims. when 2 weeks ago I had them for 8 nights due to mum going on holiday. Before this had them most of the time and 3 nights every week until she decided to stop contact.

I got nothing to hide it's the alienation and control and lies that obviously I didn't mention to be seen as attacking her.

I don't agree with cafcass so in the email caffcass wrote
"If there are any areas in the report where you do not agree with the views I have expressed or the recommendations I have made, please do ensure that you raise any concerns you may have during the forthcoming court hearing, so that the court is aware of your views."

who can i raise my concerns with. Should i email the court directly? I want to explain every allegations she has made in my own words for the court to then consider.

Cafcass recommendations does not agree with the kids staying with me as I applied for child arrangements. Cafcass agrees 2 evenings a week and maybe weekend daytime. Cafcass also believe fact find hearing is not nessasary.

In her report she says
" I recommend a decisions hearing is timetabled to consider Mr xx applications
for a Child Arrangements order"

So what do I do? I'm kind of lost.
Any advice is really appreciated

 

[Ash]

Hi. This is very common. Regardless of what time you had before, they are now treating you as a safeguarding risk. Yes ex's lie and Cafcass believe them. Their premise is they play on the safe side in case the allegations are true and until the court determines the issues. Very frustrating.

But it's at court hearings decisions are made. Was this your first Cafcass letter? I think it's good there is no fact finding hearing (as they can go badly wrong - Judge might believe her too) - so I think it's a case of dealing with the court now - strong position statement and final statement. And maybe other things along the way - you'll need to take it step by step. At a final hearing, the Cafcass officer can be cross examined and if their report is flawed you can highlight that via cross examination.

 

[TheSoul]

Hi all
I just received my first cafcass child Impact Report which really makes me speechless when I read it.
So my call with cafcass was positive things not mentioning all the alienation controlling behaviour that my ex has been doing and making my kids follow with what she is saying. So being coached into saying only things they didn't like at mine, like me taking their phones away or making them do extra homework.

Mums cafcass call according to the report was just saying how bad I am to the kids and how bad my extended family are to the kids which are all allegations and not true.

My daughters reports during a school visit was again just saying what they don't like at mine, and forgetting all the good things we do together so on paper just makes me look really bad.

The cafcass report didn't add everything we talked about, she missed important information, picked out the worst quotes on the conversation. Believed all her allegations with no proof and made her recommendation for contact only in a public place for me to see my daughters because of safeguarding issues mum claims. when 2 weeks ago I had them for 8 nights due to mum going on holiday. Before this had them most of the time and 3 nights every week until she decided to stop contact.

I got nothing to hide it's the alienation and control and lies that obviously I didn't mention to be seen as attacking her.

I don't agree with cafcass so in the email caffcass wrote
"If there are any areas in the report where you do not agree with the views I have expressed or the recommendations I have made, please do ensure that you raise any concerns you may have during the forthcoming court hearing, so that the court is aware of your views."

who can i raise my concerns with. Should i email the court directly? I want to explain every allegations she has made in my own words for the court to then consider.

Cafcass recommendations does not agree with the kids staying with me as I applied for child arrangements. Cafcass agrees 2 evenings a week and maybe weekend daytime. Cafcass also believe fact find hearing is not nessasary.

In her report she says
" I recommend a decisions hearing is timetabled to consider Mr xx applications
for a Child Arrangements order"

So what do I do? I'm kind of lost.
Any advice is really appreciated

Hi There,
I have had one dealing with cafcass myself, they are very anti dad unfortunately. They did exactly the same to me. My ex admitted to using cannabis heavily, and made allegations against me that i was an alcoholic - cafcass recommended to the court i under went alcohol testing but did not advise my ex under went drug testing. It's ridiculous and i am sorry you are in this situation.

Any way, i believe as of Oct 2024 the cafcass rules have changed - and they have to take any allegations made as being "true" regardless of evidence. (you should double check this).

The fact cafcass have not recommended a fact finding hearing works in your favour. It means the allegations weather true or false are not at a level where it would stop either parent from having contact.

Is this report a section 7 report?

Do you need to write a position statement for the next hearing?

So you can challenge points and recommendations that cafcass has made in court, but you need to be careful how you word it. You can bring up the suspected alienation, coaching and mistruths by your ex. Have social services been to your home for example and found no concerns?, are you or family "known" to social services etc you can add this in to help argue your side. State that you had your children for 8 days straight when mum went on holiday and there were no safeguarding issues then when it suited her, state that you had your children the majority of the time prior to this as well. Between now and your court date keep a log of mums behaviour dates/times - is she cancelling visits, is she changing timetables at the last minute, is she asking for you to cover extra days, is she late for pick up and drop off. This could all potentially help.
The court will consider the age of your children - so your children saying they don't like it - while i know it sounds bad, but you have their best interests in mind. Making sure they do their homework, extra curricular activities, set routines etc.

Word things in a way where you are not "bad mouthing" your ex - I know this is hard but always make the focus your children and not your ex.

If your ex breaches any interim order the court has made, such as not allowing contact breaching the court order, write to the court immediately explain this.

You should also be very clear to the court what you want. example: 50/50, 70/30 and perhaps have a recommended plan such as 2-2-3 or whatever works best.

If you dont have a solicitor and you are a litigant in person - I write my proposition statement out then have chatgpt rewrite it for court - THIS IS NOT ADVICE. But has worked for me.

I dont know if any of this will help you.

But Good Luck!

Regards
M

 

[DannyK]

Hello @it89

The CAFCASS letters (I've had two now, in different sets of proceedings) will always make brutal reading as they report (verbatim) Ex's lies.

But maybe on review, you might notice that they often use language like "Mother reports..." and "Ms XXXX believes..." or " Ms XXXX said"

Through this lens, you might interpret the report as just a reiteration / reporting of Ex's allegations - and not actually the CAFCASS 'opinion'.

Obviously the most important part is their conclusion, but even if this is unfavourable (as mine was) it doesn't necessarily mean all is lost.

My CAFCASS report recommended "no change" to existing contact, but this recommendation (and Ex's absurd domestic abuse allegations) were disregarded in court by magistrates - and I was awarded the extra nights I asked for AND a joint lives with order. They even (surprisingly) dismissed Ex's attempt to double-barrel our daughter's surname as they believed it was 'motivated by acrimony'.

I feel like the contact you had prior to the letter (ie. 8 consecutive nights to allow mother to go on holiday!) will go a long way to undermining the CAFCASS recommendation.

Of course every case is different and it's hell going through this stuff, but with a good DAB (whatever you do, don't use a solicitor) - you might get a better outcome than you think..

 

[it89]

Thanks you for your replys

Things caffcass mentioned that she would add in the report that she didn't was about passports and me being blocked on my daughters phones. I did email cafcass politely to ask to add things to the report she might of missed. I still haven't received a reply.


"Second gatekeeping / triage
6. Second gatekeeping / triage shall be undertaken without a hearing (so you do not need to attend) by a
legal adviser the week commencing 18th December 2024 when further directions will be given."

This is next thing on the court papers.

@Ash Yes this was my first cafcass report titled as child Impact Report. I will need to create a strong position statement in reply to the cafcass report and send this before the second gatekeeping to the court?

Would it be best to write up a reply to every allegation made in my report or keep it as short as possible?

@TheSoul
I just had a similar thing where cafcass recommended I attend a parenting course and the ex referred to a domestic abuse charity for a risk assessment. I feel it should be the other way around. I'm just shocked but not anymore, how the ex can just lie about things that didn't happen.

The cafcass new rules are true. So they just assume it's all true. Will I get a chance to prove myself?

She did call social services before as she claimed my family have weapons in the house and the children have access to this, where police visited my family's home and case was closed.

At the moment cafcass recommendations are I only see the kids in public places when not long ago I'm putting them to school etc.

Cafcass also recommends until court decides, kids cannot visit my extended family including their 7 year old cousin.

As he plays rough sometimes forgetting his a boy and they are girls, and I have to stop him sometimes and explain to him not to play so rough, ex basically said that my extended family encourage him to hurt the girls. Things like that.

I'm trying to do this myself without a solicitor. Yes it's very stressful. And moments like this affects me the worse where I feel I'm in a losing battle.


@DannyK
Yes your right.
Mine writes
Ms xx shared, Ms xx said, Ms xx explained

Did you make a report to court in reply to the cafcass? I just feel if the court reads what they wrote without any additional report from myself it just seems like a dead end. I mean when I read it I wouldn't give the kids to the dad they created in that report. I mean my daughter even wrote we don't go out much unless I'm invited by someone. That is the opposite because me and the girls always go out, park, feeding ducks, walks, trips, etc with photos to prove it all. But I'm not blaming the kids as I know how the children have been coached.

At the moment I'm trying to do this alone as I can't afford the costs. Worse case I take out a loan for a barrister. And I only use a barrister for the final hearing? Is it worth it?
I have nothing to hide so if judge asks me a question i will reply honestly. I have a folder with all solicitor letters and evidence of texts, phone call recordings. Yes i might have nerves but what would you suggest?

Currently ex has a solicitor as she has legal aid.

Thank you all for the advice so far.

 

[lunico93x]

Sorry to hear this jc. Is this the prelude to a full section 7. If it is then at least you'll be heard better as part of the process and the cafcass officer is unlikely to be the same person.

Did you record the call?

I think someone posted recently about there being a new measure where cases involving the type of allegations talked about here must go to a fact find. Which is a belly ache as it's just one person's word against the other with barristers coining it in for a few days...

My CAFCASS call was by a batsh*t lady. This is the initial "safeguarding" call. She started the call saying very aggressively "I can see on my side that you are recording this. Are you recording this?" I wasn't. She hung up and call back from a different number, "I can still see you are recording this." Absolutely mad.