Cafcass call, mediation and mental health

[JC83]

Hi all,

I have my first CAFCASS call early next week ahead of my FHDRA just over a couple of weeks later.

Ex has made a number of very serious allegations, in particular physically assaulting her and harming our child. Got arrested, then NFA’d. As that didn’t work ex got a NMO on me. Social services are backing ex up and think I’m a horrific abuser.

I’m sure she would have spoken to Cafcass already and given them a big list of allegations. Thanks to the great advice on here, I know to keep child focused, deny allegations and not slag off the ex in any way.

My mental health has suffered badly as a result of time with my child being significantly restricted, and I have been having counselling via my GP for depression and anxiety. Due to only being able to have a limited number of sessions I’ve been discharged back to my GP although my counsellor noted my symptoms have been improving. If Cafcass ask about my mental health at all, should I admit I’ve been struggling a bit or just deny it as I worry ex will use it against me? I won’t bring attention to it unless asked and I probably think honesty is the best policy as they could check my GP records anyway.

The other question is that I wanted to mediate over child and financial arrangements but it was clear ex was only interested in financial discussions. If Cafcass ask anything about mediation, how do you think it’s best to word this without slagging off the ex?

Feeling very worried. The family centre let me know yesterday that ex has cancelled a supervised session which was due to take place a couple of days after my FHDRA (been having supervised time for 3 months now with glowing reports). Reading about how Cafcass have let so many dads down on here my minds been going into overdrive thinking that Cafcass have already spoken to ex and social services and due to the severity of her allegations have already said to her they will suggest no contact…

Thanks for any advice.

 

[mva]

I would be honest only if asked about mental health.

You ex will probably bring it up in court anyway.

But I would not raise it with caffcass unless they do.

“ I have been diagnosed and treated for depression and anxiety by gp, triggered by not seeing my kids and family court worries”

“I asked ex to mediate about child arrangements but she declined”

Then move on as quickly as you can to your relationship with kids etc

 

[JC83]

Thanks @mva I’ll do as you advise

 

[Ash]

Agree. I wouldn't mention it unless they ask you specifically about mental health. You won't get any sympathy for it unfortunately - just clinical analysis that your mental health might affect your parenting abilities. Or they might think you're trying to manipulate them. You could say it has been very upsetting and stressful not to see your daughter much and for arrangements to see her being cancelled a few times. I would leave it at that.

As for the next cancelled appointment, you have a court hearing before that and can try and get that sorted in court.