Cafcass and non-parent wife

[Lad]

Just had my cafcass date for next Tuesday and unexpectedly they have also emailed my wife with a time on the same day for an interview too. She’s not my son’s biological mother. Any experiences with this sort of thing? Why is this needed?

 

[Ash]

That sounds like a big faux pas on the part of Cafcass! It sounds like they are assuming your wife is the Mother. So I assume your wife was stepmother to your son? I would just let the interviews go ahead and inform them., during your interview that she is his stepmother. They might ask who his biological mother is and why she isn't involved. I assume his biological mother isn't on the scene? Sometimes they do make orders for step parents to continue seeing children, but it would usually need your agreement. Same advice applies generally with Cafcass calls - don't say anything negative about the biological Mother (or your wife), keep it child focused - talk about the child and your relationship and just mention that your wife is his stepmother. Who put the application into court? You or your wife?

 

[Lad]

Myself and my wife are still together, its me applying for the live in order so we can go abroad without needing mums permission, biological mother hasn't been involved for 7 years with no contact, not even sure if she's acknowledged the court application as i don't know where she is (court informed me they did find her but cant say whether she responded or not) I didn't know whether they had asked my wife for an interview too to see our family dynamic which is great in my eyes! Maybe this will go in my favour too, yes my son doesn't have contact with his biological mum and I know Cafcass will always say he should have a relationship with her (he's 10 and doesn't want contact even if she tried) but he has his step mum who has acted as a mother role since he was 3

 

[Ash]

Yes if you live together they probably just want to speak to her as well, which is not unusual. Yes the courts do like children to have a relationship with both parents, but if his biological Mother has been "absent" and made no attempt to be involved and no court applications then she could be considered to have abandoned him.

I don't see you would have a problem getting a "lives with" order if that has been the status quo for some time. Cafcass are a bit Mum biased so be careful not to criticise her. Eg you could say you have always been supportive of him having a relationship with his Mum but she has been absent for a long time.