Hi chaps,
Bit of advice. I have been split up from my ex for about year and a half now. I wasn't happy in the relationship. But she broke up with me citing I was drinking too much (I would only drink on the weekends with her fyi). Plus I had a conversation a week before we broke up telling her I wasn't happy. Anyway, we share a 3.5 year old son. We worked our way up to 50/50 care arrangement if I agreed to do breathalyser tests on the evening I have my son in my care. I video them and then send negative result every time. I have been doing this for about a year now, never failed or missed one.
About a month ago she said he was being unsettled in her care and she thinks he should only be sleeping in one bed (which obviously has to be hers) even though he is between her bed and her grandparents bed. This was after I moved into a two bedroom flat in her area as she said it would be child neglect if I didn't have a bed for him. So she's removed all my overnight care and still is painting me as an alcohol abuser. A week ago she had a business trip to Ireland and asked me to have him for 4 days and of course I said yes. I did not do the breathalyser tests as I do not think they are necessary anymore. When she got back she has since withheld all contact and has made wild demands about continuing with breathalyser tests and now wants hair strand tests every month to only allow me 1 day (not night) care of my son each week. She is also asking for backdated child maintenance for herself and her parents care. Her parents look after my son during the day 2.5 days a week. Even though I thought this was agreed without any payment needed, grandparents taking care of their grandchildren seems a vile thing to try and monetise to me. We get 30hrs free childcare for working parents so would rather he be in nursery 4 days a week getting vital social and educational teachings.
I have already opened mediation, which she declined to attend (she has since cited safeguarding issues and her solicitor advised this). So I have sent c100 off to court and am awaiting call with cafcass.
If I tell cafcass the situation about breathalyser etc will they immediately ask for hair strand test? I have not drunk at all for 1 month now. And only drank when my son was not in my care and I did not have him the next day. I've had a birthday and few weddings at end of August and September. So am worried when I might get asked for a hair strand test.
Overall do you think a judge would side with me knowing the story above?
Sorry for long message.
Bit of advice. I have been split up from my ex for about year and a half now. I wasn't happy in the relationship. But she broke up with me citing I was drinking too much (I would only drink on the weekends with her fyi). Plus I had a conversation a week before we broke up telling her I wasn't happy. Anyway, we share a 3.5 year old son. We worked our way up to 50/50 care arrangement if I agreed to do breathalyser tests on the evening I have my son in my care. I video them and then send negative result every time. I have been doing this for about a year now, never failed or missed one.
About a month ago she said he was being unsettled in her care and she thinks he should only be sleeping in one bed (which obviously has to be hers) even though he is between her bed and her grandparents bed. This was after I moved into a two bedroom flat in her area as she said it would be child neglect if I didn't have a bed for him. So she's removed all my overnight care and still is painting me as an alcohol abuser. A week ago she had a business trip to Ireland and asked me to have him for 4 days and of course I said yes. I did not do the breathalyser tests as I do not think they are necessary anymore. When she got back she has since withheld all contact and has made wild demands about continuing with breathalyser tests and now wants hair strand tests every month to only allow me 1 day (not night) care of my son each week. She is also asking for backdated child maintenance for herself and her parents care. Her parents look after my son during the day 2.5 days a week. Even though I thought this was agreed without any payment needed, grandparents taking care of their grandchildren seems a vile thing to try and monetise to me. We get 30hrs free childcare for working parents so would rather he be in nursery 4 days a week getting vital social and educational teachings.
I have already opened mediation, which she declined to attend (she has since cited safeguarding issues and her solicitor advised this). So I have sent c100 off to court and am awaiting call with cafcass.
If I tell cafcass the situation about breathalyser etc will they immediately ask for hair strand test? I have not drunk at all for 1 month now. And only drank when my son was not in my care and I did not have him the next day. I've had a birthday and few weddings at end of August and September. So am worried when I might get asked for a hair strand test.
Overall do you think a judge would side with me knowing the story above?
Sorry for long message.