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Blindsided. Would Welcome Advice, Thank You.
- Thread starter skydock
- Start date
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have info in the form of text messages that contradict what an ex has said to their solicitor, judges, a welfare reporter, and even what has been stated in witness reports? How incredibly powerful that would be. Sometimes the truth and good people do prevail. Two sides to a story and a fuzzy area in the middle? Not when one side has completely lied from the beginning. A single truth, retrievable from time past.
Why do some people lie like that? Sadly, probably because they're afflicted with a condition or conditions listed in the DSM-V. I expect distant, selfish mothers don't help.
Why do some people lie like that? Sadly, probably because they're afflicted with a condition or conditions listed in the DSM-V. I expect distant, selfish mothers don't help.
Got a telephone call (I would have expected an email if lucky!) from a researcher on This Morning! They wanted to take more details and clarify some points. They ended saying they'd be in touch. I tried to quiz on timeframes and process but they were vague. They did however say this was part of planning for next year's schedule and that they most-likely won't be back in touch until January. Think I need to speak to my solicitor! I know what they'll say ("stop it") but I'll explain I won't be doing anything until after court's done, if at all. Now this looks like a possibility, I need to think long and hard about objectives. Any thoughts? What would you do? It seems like an opportunity.
If only anyone had any faith in "The system" anymore
Oh, I was pessimistic until my criminal lawyer spelled-out how I have a good case on at-least 7 charges. And, it's not like I'd be paying for it. They're unusual and have been trying to save me money (no, I'm not naive). I don't necessarily want to do this but, if the skullduggery continues from the other side, I'm going to do it. The other side have absolutely been criminal in their behaviour, whereas I have not. I have suspicions that they read these words I write (despicable, vacuous, immoral, malevolent excuses for human beings, lying to themselves and all around them...). On a positive, at least I won't have to spend this Christmas in their vile company, and my children may only have a few more years of it left.
I thought the same at one time, but it is so rare, it's virtually unheard of, for the CPS to prosecute people who make false allegations in family matters - I think the only recourse is wasting police time or perverting the course of justice. But unfortunately it just doesn't seem to happen.
One day, my STBXW's parents will die. If this continues, she may be lonely...if she's capable of feeling. Gamble and potentially gain in the short term, but lose in the long? I have a friend who no-longer speaks with his mother due to how she treated his father. He said to me that, had he spent equal time with them growing up, he may have had a different view, but once he found out his mother had told egregious lies about his dad, and intentionally limited time with him, his mind was made up. That said, he believes she may not actually care that much about seeing him and his sister but that what she does care about...is losing.
My STBXW accessed my email account late last year and this year. It took me a while to realise. I changed my password but I also made sure I logged the IP address (my home) of when it was accessed...times when I can prove I wasn't there. This is part of my evidence. Data is beautiful. You see, my STBXW is very used to lying to people and gaslighting if they question her. Sadly, it seems to have been a norm for her for years (I think she needed to do it to appease an emotionally neglectful mother). The courts aren't the place for her 'skills'. I pity her this and feel sorrow for her, which is why I won't take delight in watching her squirm in court.
My STBXW continues to lie in court, even about the children. Little does she know that the lies are easy to evidence in future. I would recommend to her that she discontinues as when adults, they may find out and, the more there are, the more compelling the case against her. I want them to have a relationship with her; I don't want them damaged by her lies.
Pity, perhaps empathy. I suspect they read this, which is one of the reasons I post.
When a mother with a certain disorder feels threatened by her children's relationships with their partners, she will endeavour to destroy those relationships. The available data suggests that it may not always be a result of feeling threatened, it may just be...for amusement. How bleak is that? Have a think about that, and your own behaviour. Your own behaviour mirrors that of your mother's. You are visiting the sins of your mother upon your own children, not yet to the extent your mother has upon you, but you have acted in ways contrary to the best interests of your children. You need to seek professional help. I see you and it's only a matter of time before others do. I wish you no harm but I do wish for you to seek the help you need, if not for yourself, for your children.
They may also wish to reflect on why said mother's (MIL) new best friend doesn't seem to like the family. It's quite simple: because she has spun lie after lie to make herself appear a victim (just as her daughter does).