Applying for live with

[Masil]

Hi everyone,

My name is Andre,

I just had my CAO second hearing today, going for final hearing new month.

Child is a 2 years old boy.

Cascaff has no concerns of both sides

She’s trying to get a live with mother order with PSO.

We since separation, share the time with him equally. One week with me, once week with her.

She has a free attorney due allegation of domestic violence when we live together as I suppose control her life ( social work involved twice due her allegations of my controlling and yet, never proven or anything) ( I’m not a saint but I would never hurt physically or mentally no one)

She works on rota 5 days per week, and study (English at college as we both Brazilian, she doesn’t know much English yet. ) leaving the child with nanny/childminder when she’s not home.
I don’t know what she does on her days off with child.

On her bundle doesn’t have a clear reason why she wants live with mother than PSO accusations for once I took him once without her knowledge due we’re not in touch for Months at the time ( I’ve had travelled with child 14 times on holidays, all the other 13 she knew about). And I keep his passport with me, (she never travelled abroad him child) Looks like all she cares is I stopping taking him abroad for holidays.

I have decided to option for live with me, once I won’t be work during due injury for next 4 months( nothing that can make unfit to take care of child) , and after that I’ll be on benefits as a career of my mother at home.

I also said, that I don’t wanna any kind of restrictions for her, that we have exactly the same rights and responsibilities.
She can always pop in to visit, she can take him all her days off (even the night before bringing child back before she goes to work after her day off)
she also can do random welfare checks, day or night without notice,
Any decision need the other part concern also we both need to inform about holidays in advance ,
split alternate Easter/summer/his birthday/ and Christmas holidays
I don’t wanna take any of child life from her

On my week, we have a routine of going to the park every morning, lunch, nap, playing, watching movies afternoons then shower dinner and bed by 20:00. Is pretty much the same all week, apart going swimming lessons twice week (Monday and Friday) , football Saturday morning, and Sundays we usually have a day out, ( farm, soft play, parks ) this of course when we’re not travelling around.

I tried to be as much impartial as possible on the description above.

I’m afraid because I’ve been representing myself because I’m off work and can’t afford to pay attorney. and to don’t get lives with father cuz I can express myself technically or like an attorney to speak up my points i listed above..
as looks to me, I can provide much more, than she in terms of time to be with him.
I don’t think is child best interest child stays with nanny/childminder when he could be with me, and her whenever she’s free to be with him
. Once I’m the lucky one that can stay with him every day I should be granted lives with right?


Should I pay an attorney?

Any thoughts?

Any help?

What’s my chances of getting live with father order?

 

[Ash]

No chance. Sorry. That's my opinion. The best order you would get is likely to be 50/50 but courts invariably give "lives with" to the Mother. Just because she's the Mother. A "standard" order is lives with Mother, spends time with Father every other week-end, a midweek night and half the holidays. Or at best, 50/50 lives with both parents. I would try for that - 50/50 lives with both parents.

Either parent is allowed to leave the child with whoever they want, that they trust, when the child is in their care, so they wouldn't see her using a childminder as an issue.

The way the system is, a Father has to prove they're a child focused Father - and they see a child focused Father as one who is positive about the Mother's parenting. They would see you as trying to take the child away from the Mother. Is she worried you'll leave the country with the child and not come back? Is that what the PSO is for?

 

[Masil]

No chance. Sorry. That's my opinion. The best order you would get is likely to be 50/50 but courts invariably give "lives with" to the Mother. Just because she's the Mother. A "standard" order is lives with Mother, spends time with Father every other week-end, a midweek night and half the holidays. Or at best, 50/50 lives with both parents. I would try for that - 50/50 lives with both parents.

Either parent is allowed to leave the child with whoever they want, that they trust, when the child is in their care, so they wouldn't see her using a childminder as an issue.

The way the system is, a Father has to prove they're a child focused Father - and they see a child focused Father as one who is positive about the Mother's parenting. They would see you as trying to take the child away from the Mother. Is she worried you'll leave the country with the child and not come back? Is that what the PSO is for?

Thank you for you replying..

I can’t understand how that would be better for the child but.. must be the way it is..

The PSO is only because once I took him without her knowledge.

In another hand , I have this fear of her thanking him to Brazil and do not come back.. I’d say she’s not totally settled in uk. No family, she was under my visa ( I’ve informed home office we’re not together) I don’t know how she would stay after it expires, struggling to communicate, no full time jobs. I just got the feeling that she could go and stay. Hope it’s not the case.


In case off 50/50 how would be school agreements? Can we take him to a school in the middle way of our homes? To be more convenient for both?