Applying for CAO

[Ash]

Also check the interim order carefully. I thought I had interim time ordered, but when I read it carefully, the time was only under "agreements" and the only thing actually ordered was mediation. Seems unlikely in your case if your ex wouldn't agree to anything.

 

[KO70]

You haven't been arrested. Good. Congratulations on the interim order! That shows they considered there were no welfare issues at the first hearing. What exactly is your ex claiming? Presumably you only ever see her at handover? If she hadn't stopped contact I'd say - ignore and sit it out till final hearing as if she accuses that in her statement but has no evidence, it'll be ignored. But as she has stopped contact and your next hearing isn't until July. I am not sure of the best course of action. Normally the first thing would be to send her a short polite email, asking her to fulfill her obligations under the court order and allow your daughter to be with you on x date as per the order. A sort of letter before action.

Another option could be to email the court and advise them she has stopped contact and ask for an urgent directions hearing. I am not so sure about that as it might be playing into her hands if she's now making allegations and delay things. Also not sure you'd get an urgent hearing before July (but it's possible).

Or you could get some legal advice and ask a solicitor to write to her saying she must comply with the interim order.

Don't rush into anything right now. Maybe the first step is to get a free half hour's legal advice from a solicitor, and see what they say.

My gut feeling is - wait until final hearing. That is really tough if you're not seeing your daughter, but at least it gets to a final hearing. You can put in your statement that she has witheld your daughter since x date and not complied with the interim order. She can accuse you of things in her statement, but without any evidence to back it up, it will probably just be ignored at that stage as Cafcass had already decided no welfare issues.

Hard as it is that she is witholding your daughter, it could be better to be low key, rather than antagonise her and her decide to go to the Police. Get a half hour's legal advice and we can think about writing to her. It's always difficult to write anything when you've been accused of something, but you can ignore it and write something normal anyway - had to do it myself - and it's all more evidence for the final hearing - to show you behaved normally and politely and didn't react to her allegations - shows it's more about seeing your daughter.

 

[KO70]

Yeah they concluded that there's no reason why he shouldn't sleep over at my house. She said that he doesn't know how to sleep away from her but they disqualified this as a credible reason. She's claiming that I assaulted her with my car door. This is all because she refused to do the handover properly, she kept on holding my door... stopping me from driving away without hurting her. I already had my son strapped in his car seat and I has my seat belt on ready to go. I have contacted the court already and was advised to send her an email saying I'll come get my son and if she stops contact, it'll be a breach of the interim order. Two times she has breached the order so far, this is after 8 weeks of handover going smoothly.

I could do with seeking legal advise, but don't have enough finances at the moment for a solicitor to send a letter. So far the only things I have done is to email her to remind her that she is breaching the court order. I have also emailed the court on two occasions advising that I tried to get my son and wasn't allowed to do so, I'm just waiting for a response from them. This makes things difficult but she sent me a picture of a very mild bruise on her left eye. As someone that has studied engineering and forensics... I understand the laws of physics. Me being sat in my car with my seatbelt on ready to drive off, will hardly be able to assault someone who is standing holding the driver seat door. If I were to assault her, then her right eye would be bruised not her left eye. it's certainly difficult but I don't know if the court would consider this logic in my statement.

Do you think there'd be any form of enforcement from the family court due to her breaching the court order? I don't want a situation where my son's welfare is now being questioned even though I'm not a danger to him, nor am I a danger to his my ex.

 

[KO70]

Also check the interim order carefully. I thought I had interim time ordered, but when I read it carefully, the time was only under "agreements" and the only thing actually ordered was mediation. Seems unlikely in your case if your ex wouldn't agree to anything.

Yeah it's definitely an interim order, cause they tried to mediate between the two of us but she was disagreeable as heck. It was almost funny seeing the Cafcass officer and the legal adviser going through what I've been going through.

 

[proud_dad]

You need to get a hidden body cam and record her. Simultaneously, if she tries anything like that again, calmly tell her in official language that you will call authorities, and wait for them to arrive.

It must have been stressful for your child to witness this scene. I'm sorry about that.

 

[Ash]

You mentioned you'd written to the court twice. You need to be careful not to email them too much or they'll start seeing it as "conflict between parents". I would ask a solicitor (you can get a free half hour) about contacting the court for a directions hearing so handovers are done by someone else (ie she doesn't bring child to you, someone else does). And yes, protect yourself by recording. Or have someone with you who can record handovers on a phone. Although if she has stopped contact that probably isn't an immediate issue.

I don't think you'd get a directions hearing before the final hearing, but I might be wrong - hence suggesting contacting a solicitor who can advise - there may be grounds for an urgent directions hearing. But one thing you do need to be asking for in a position statement, is someone else to handover child to you, to protect yourself from allegations and to protect child witnessing Mother's anger in front of you.

 

[KO70]

You mentioned you'd written to the court twice. You need to be careful not to email them too much or they'll start seeing it as "conflict between parents". I would ask a solicitor (you can get a free half hour) about contacting the court for a directions hearing so handovers are done by someone else (ie she doesn't bring child to you, someone else does). And yes, protect yourself by recording. Or have someone with you who can record handovers on a phone. Although if she has stopped contact that probably isn't an immediate issue.

I don't think you'd get a directions hearing before the final hearing, but I might be wrong - hence suggesting contacting a solicitor who can advise - there may be grounds for an urgent directions hearing. But one thing you do need to be asking for in a position statement, is someone else to handover child to you, to protect yourself from allegations and to protect child witnessing Mother's anger in front of you.

Hey Ash, sorry for taking a while to respond. I wanted to speak to a solicitor first so I can let you know what I’ve been advised.

The solicitor has advised me that because a first hearing has taken place and the Cafcass officer has ruled out any safeguarding issue, that contact should still be taking place. They also said that I should try filing a C2 form as I wouldn’t lose anything by doing that. I explained that I don’t mind waiting till July but I’m just worried about how it’s gonna affect my son when he’s used to being with me on specific days. Please advise me if the C2 form is going to cost money?
Filling out the C2 form doesn’t guarantee an earlier hearing, but this can help to have contact reinstated, as I could pick my son up through another close relative.


I also asked about how the assault allegation will affect me, the solicitor said if my ex didn’t call the police or anything then, I’m fine. It looks like she isn’t happy that contact with my son has been going well, so she decided to manipulate the situation which isn’t looking to good on her.

I have been advised to add this incident to my final statement! Please can you help me in formatting the final statement so I can have it prepared before the deadline date.

Looking forward to your response.

 

[Ash]

Yes submit the C2. I don't know much about submitting a C2 so you might need to rely on the legal advice there. My thought had been to email the court and ask for an urgent directions hearing due to contact suddenly being witheld when child was in a routine. Maybe the C2 allows you to do that too. I would ask the solicitor about both options. I don't know if there is an additional fee - I suspect not because a C2 is for when an application is already in place. But it might be worth getting the solicitor to get you an urgent hearing - you're more likely to get one if the solicitor deals with it. Ask her if she can do that. By urgent I mean within a few days.

Yes I can help with a statement wording to a degree, but start putting your evidence together in a folder - the evidence and statement work together and it is one thing it is worth paying a solicitor to do, as a one off perhaps - helping you construct a statement around your evidence. Your evidence can be emails, texts, official documents (eg social services or police), nursery documents, GP or other letters - anything you have that backs up what you want to say in your statement.

 

[KO70]

Yes submit the C2. I don't know much about submitting a C2 so you might need to rely on the legal advice there. My thought had been to email the court and ask for an urgent directions hearing due to contact suddenly being witheld when child was in a routine. Maybe the C2 allows you to do that too. I would ask the solicitor about both options. I don't know if there is an additional fee - I suspect not because a C2 is for when an application is already in place. But it might be worth getting the solicitor to get you an urgent hearing - you're more likely to get one if the solicitor deals with it. Ask her if she can do that. By urgent I mean within a few days.

Yes I can help with a statement wording to a degree, but start putting your evidence together in a folder - the evidence and statement work together and it is one thing it is worth paying a solicitor to do, as a one off perhaps - helping you construct a statement around your evidence. Your evidence can be emails, texts, official documents (eg social services or police), nursery documents, GP or other letters - anything you have that backs up what you want to say in your statement.

Thanks for your response Ash, the solicitor has already confirmed it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be able to get a quicker hearing, the court also advised me of this recently. I think the C2 form might have a fee but I’ll look into filling it out. Would I need confirmation from the nursery that I’ve been picking him up?

Finances aren’t the greatest right now, so I’m weighing up my options carefully, I’ll definitely get my evidence together to back up my statement. I’ve mostly got text messages and a couple emails. I can then look into paying a solicitor to put that together for me. If you don’t mind can you help me with the wording initially though?

 

[Ash]

Yes can do. You could email the court yourself and ask for an urgent directions hearing. Don't ask, don't get. You might not get it, but you might. If you don't get it, it will be on file, for the next hearing, what has happened and not look good for the Mother. That's not a quicker hearing, it's a separate short one. I do know of one Dad who did this, and although he didn't get a directions hearing, the Judge issued directions in a new order saying the Mother must comply with the interim order and sent both of them a copy. That won't necessarily make her comply either though! Keep diary notes about all this and any evidence you might have. Also be whiter than white in all your dealings and behaviour, however badly she behaves.

Apparently a C2 can be used for asking for directions within existing proceedings. If you don't have a solicitor acting for you "at the moment" you could just email the court instead - formally and politely. Or submit a C2 yourself. As far as I can see there shouldn't be a fee for the C2 because it's existing proceedings and you've already paid a fee for the C100.