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Fellowshipper

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This is a question specifically aimed at those here who have court authorised use of parenting apps.

Ahead of my next, near date in court, the other side is refusing my proposition for the use of a parenting app, so I need to convince the judge that this is the right thing for me wanting to have optimum access to my children.

What is the best possible argument for me to make, in this regard? And for those who are already using apps, did your exes initially agree or disagree to use them as means of communication between you?

I am mostly looking to hear from fathers who were refused by their ex, but the court decided in your favour. Although all other accounts are obviously still welcome!
 
I was refused by my ex. Brought it to the court hearing with comprehensive argument in support citing various sources. Judge didn't look at my argument. He just said Cafcass would recommend it anyway and asked my ex to agree. She agreed. It went in as a recital. Me to pay OFW costs for both sides. She waited for me to pay and set up. A few days. Used it once or twice. Then she claimed it was not appropriate because she was a victim of abuse and her DV worker said the app was dodgy. I argued with her solicitor until I was blue in the face, to no avail.

My solution was to only communicate with her on the app and copy every email and text she sent me on there. It gave me a great record of all our interactions for the final hearing.
 
Resolute said:
I was refused by my ex. Brought it to the court hearing with comprehensive argument in support citing various sources. Judge didn't look at my argument. He just said Cafcass would recommend it anyway and asked my ex to agree. She agreed. It went in as a recital. Me to pay OFW costs for both sides. She waited for me to pay and set up. A few days. Used it once or twice. Then she claimed it was not appropriate because she was a victim of abuse and her DV worker said the app was dodgy. I argued with her solicitor until I was blue in the face, to no avail.

My solution was to only communicate with her on the app and copy every email and text she sent me on there. It gave me a great record of all our interactions for the final hearing.
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Apologies mate, but I have trouble understanding what you've said here. The main question I have is why did you have to argue anything out with with the legal aider if the court approved the use of the app? If she agreed to use it then backtracked, then surely it was necessary for you to return the matter back to court, not to argue anything out with a solicitor who is against you in advance- no?

Also, what is a recital and what is ofw?
 
Recitals are a series of clauses that precede the order, usually along the lines:

Upon hearing evidence...

Upon the parties agreeing...

Upon judgement of DJ...

It is ordered that:

OFW is Our Family Wizard.

I was advised at the time, possibly wrongly, that a recital cannot be enforced.

My ex never got legal aid, she has paid continually for over 4 years. It is quite simple really. My ex told the court she agreed to do as they recommend, then she didn't. I didn't have to use my arguments for the app because the judge was immediately in favour. He trusted my ex.

I was very naive at the time, even more than I am now 😀

Perhaps I should have made an application. Instead, I used the workaround I've told you about.
 
Resolute said:
Recitals are a series of clauses that precede the order, usually along the lines:

Upon hearing evidence...

Upon the parties agreeing...

Upon judgement of DJ...

It is ordered that:

OFW is Our Family Wizard.

I was advised at the time, possibly wrongly, that a recital cannot be enforced.

My ex never got legal aid, she has paid continually for over 4 years. It is quite simple really. My ex told the court she agreed to do as they recommend, then she didn't. I didn't have to use my arguments for the app because the judge was immediately in favour. He trusted my ex.
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So basically the court doesn't oblige the parties to use the app, if one party should disagree?
 
Fellowshipper said:
So basically the court doesn't oblige the parties to use the app, if one party should disagree?
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There are orders that say comms to only be by the app. I brought a model order to my hearing. It can be difficult to get stuff ordered if the ex says they agree to it. By saying they agree and will do this or that. They secure woolly orders that they then abuse.

This can happen with arrangements for time with the kids as well. E.g. holidays to be shared by agreement.

If she had have disagreed and if there had been problems to justify it, there could have been an order to use the app.
 
Resolute said:
There are orders that say comms to only be by the app. I brought a model order to my hearing. It can be difficult to get stuff ordered if the ex says they agree to it. By saying they agree and will do this or that. They secure woolly orders that they then abuse.

This can happen with arrangements for time with the kids as well. E.g. holidays to be shared by agreement.

If she had have disagreed and if there had been problems to justify it, there could have been an order to use the app.
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Okay, so the app is more like a last chance saloon for securing existing, waifer thin communications, rather than a tool to promote open clear dialogue even if it's just child related?
 
My experience is that it was jist granted with no real argument other than to assist with positive co-parenting.

Mine was court ordered under the final arrangement and not as a recital as someone else mentioned above

There are free co-parenting apps so should be zero problems arguing who pays for it. This also makes the argument for having the app even easier for judge to decide if it's at no cost for either party.
 
Pj66 said:
My experience is that it is just granted usually did you request it to assist with positive co-parenting or some other vague reason.

Mine was court ordered under the final arrangement and not as a recital.

There are free co-parenting apps so should be zero problems arguing who pays for it. Makes the argument for having the app even easier for judge to decide if it's at no cost for either party.
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Did your ex initially refuse it?
 
Fellowshipper said:
Did your ex initially refuse it?
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No I never even brought it up until my position statement at first hearing.

Edit: actually looking back at it I didn't even give a reason , just proposed it save for emergencies. Cafcass on the day agreed the apps are helpful.
 
I've found that the courts are always up for the use of parenting apps, the courts suggested we use an app and was written in the court order. Can't imagine you'd have to put up much of an argument.
 
In my case, I want an app as a gateway to get direct contact with the other side, rather than use third parties for child arrangements. She has refused twice so far, in two separate statements pending the new hearing soon. Sounds to me my idea and more so expectations are pie in the sky. She does not want to communicate with me and will want to avoid doing so for as long as she can, and it looks to me from what you all have commented from your own experiences that she'll likely get the court to agree with her not to talk to me. But this makes my life very difficult with regards to the logistics of child arrangements. Doesn't do me much good to be granted access if I am effectively handicapped with resources (eg no car relying on public transport), no reliable third parties for child pick ups and drop offs and in regards to visits to court no money to get a barrister. I never know what to say or what is exactly relevant according to family court protocol, so I just end up with all of my arguments ignored and get talked down to like the ignoramus they see me as.
 
Jumper85 said:
I've found that the courts are always up for the use of parenting apps, the courts suggested we use an app and was written in the court order. Can't imagine you'd have to put up much of an argument.
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It's not that there needs to be an argument for it that's the problem, it's the fact of actually getting it without nitpicking preconditions from the opposing side, and then when you do eventually get it the acrimonious party can just refuse to use it and so what then becomes its use..?
 
So one of the points in my case was communicating better and co-parenting more effectively together. I just said I wanted to be a better parent, co-parent effectively and be able to communicate. I actually asked the ex in court whether they wanted that for the sake of the children, I'd find it unusual for a parent to say no in that situation which is why I asked the question. The court then discussed the tools available which ultimately led to co-parenting courses and the use of the app. That was despite her multiple abuse allegations she'd raised against me.
 
Jumper85 said:
So one of the points in my case was communicating better and co-parenting more effectively together. I just said I wanted to be a better parent, co-parent effectively and be able to communicate. I actually asked the ex in court whether they wanted that for the sake of the children, I'd find it unusual for a parent to say no in that situation which is why I asked the question. The court then discussed the tools available which ultimately led to co-parenting courses and the use of the app. That was despite her multiple abuse allegations she'd raised against me.
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well in my case she's always had the panel up in the court room and whispering things through her solicitor, and she always gets that screen up so I can't see her because I've been accused of DA, so how you got away not only with seeing her in the court room but asking her a question as well, I have no idea..
 
The problem is if your ex is not on board with an app, even if it suggested in court ordered recitals, she can just ignore it.

We have an app OFW and my ex is simply selective in what and when she answers, if at all.
 
mva said:
The problem is if your ex is not on board with an app, even if it suggested in court ordered recitals, she can just ignore it.

We have an app OFW and my ex is simply selective in what and when she answers, if at all.
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I see. Does that include ignoring messages about things related to actual child arrangements ordered by court?
 
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