Anyone had a safeguarding letter that is nothing to do with safeguarding

[Dadsputupwithsomuchcrap]

Just joined. Read some truly devastating posts about fathers being screwed over. All so grim and horrific. Hang in their gents.

I have worked with kids in my profession, have safe guarding training yearly.

Compared to many on here my safeguarding letter was tame. Only straight to final hearing recommended.

But the rubbish they wrote. Basica ex lthrowing any mud she could think of, and had nothing to do with safeguarding or my kids’ welfare.

Is it common that they almost become the mum’s butt licker and write utter garbage that has so safeguarding relevance.

At least I finally have it all in writing and she has played her hand in full to help me know what could come up.

Soul destroying.

 

[Grant55]

The impression I get, having experienced CAFCASS on two occasions, an initial safeguarding and then a S7, is that they will generally report much of what the other party has claimed/alleged. That of course doesn't make the allegations true.

I had some low level allegations in the initial safeguarding report, these were stepped up and embellished in my ex's position statement and then by the time we got to S7, we had full on accusations, many of which were beyond ridiculous.

In my experience, the CAFCASS officer listened to these allegations and then put them to me when it was my turn for the S7 interview. I calmly denied almost everything but did admit to some name calling which happened in the final months of our relationship. Even that though, seriously? My ex gave as good as she got in those final months, but I didn't go crying to teacher about it. As I said to the CAFCASS officer, it was the breakdown of a long term relationship, things were said in the heat of the moment, things which I subsequently regretted but were understandable under the circumstances.

On the assumption that most if not all allegations are false, simply deny them all. If they are false there will of course be no evidence to back them up. It is not down to you to disprove these allegations.

Once I received the S7 report it did state some of her allegations. As upsetting and unfair as it is. I don't think CAFCASS have any choice but to mention them. It is not their job to pass judgement though. At best they can recommend a fact finding hearing and it is then down to the court to try to decide what is or isn't true. In my case, the CAFCASS officer considered a fact finding hearing but didn't consider it relevant.

Mud slinging seems to be the first line of defence/attack for many in these matters. Without evidence they are meaningless and best avoided and if you can respond calmly and deny such claims, there is every chance they won't be worth the paper they're written on.

Final thought is and it's something I struggled with, just because it's in the report doesn't mean it's true. It's horrendous to read but without any evidence it's meaningless.

 

[Dadsputupwithsomuchcrap]

The impression I get, having experienced CAFCASS on two occasions, an initial safeguarding and then a S7, is that they will generally report much of what the other party has claimed/alleged. That of course doesn't make the allegations true.

I had some low level allegations in the initial safeguarding report, these were stepped up and embellished in my ex's position statement and then by the time we got to S7, we had full on accusations, many of which were beyond ridiculous.

In my experience, the CAFCASS officer listened to these allegations and then put them to me when it was my turn for the S7 interview. I calmly denied almost everything but did admit to some name calling which happened in the final months of our relationship. Even that though, seriously? My ex gave as good as she got in those final months, but I didn't go crying to teacher about it. As I said to the CAFCASS officer, it was the breakdown of a long term relationship, things were said in the heat of the moment, things which I subsequently regretted but were understandable under the circumstances.

On the assumption that most if not all allegations are false, simply deny them all. If they are false there will of course be no evidence to back them up. It is not down to you to disprove these allegations.

Once I received the S7 report it did state some of her allegations. As upsetting and unfair as it is. I don't think CAFCASS have any choice but to mention them. It is not their job to pass judgement though. At best they can recommend a fact finding hearing and it is then down to the court to try to decide what is or isn't true. In my case, the CAFCASS officer considered a fact finding hearing but didn't consider it relevant.

Mud slinging seems to be the first line of defence/attack for many in these matters. Without evidence they are meaningless and best avoided and if you can respond calmly and deny such claims, there is every chance they won't be worth the paper they're written on.

Final thought is and it's something I struggled with, just because it's in the report doesn't mean it's true. It's horrendous to read but without any evidence it's meaningless.

Thank you. I would imagine she will ramp things up in her position statement. I was advised to do as you say. Focus on what I want. Stay calm no bad mouthing.

I have a great legal team so let’s see.

I hope you have managed to get through this without too many scars.

Thanks for replying.

 

[Grant55]

Thank you. I would imagine she will ramp things up in her position statement. I was advised to do as you say. Focus on what I want. Stay calm no bad mouthing.

I have a great legal team so let’s see.

I hope you have managed to get through this without too many scars.

Thanks for replying.

I'm not out of the woods yet. The S7 went in my favour, thank god, but still got the final hearing to overcome, sometime in the next few months. Unfortunately the S7 going in my favour has just made her all the more determined.

It's hard and gets really hard at times. It's nearly broken me and I consider myself a very strong person mentally.

Expect the unexpected, expect lies, deceit and exaggeration. And just when you think things have calmed down for a bit, expect it to all kick off again.

Good luck to you and anyone else that finds themselves reading this.

 

[Hobnob]

"Expect the unexpected, expect lies, deceit and exaggeration. And just when you think things have calmed down for a bit, expect it to all kick off again."

This never ends I'm afraid. 5 years later it's still going on.

 

[Dadsputupwithsomuchcrap]

Hell

 

[Ash]

That's really good it's going straight to a final hearing. Isn't there an FHDRA first though? Yes Cafcass just "report" what each parent has said (although often minimal about what Dad has said!) so it reads as a load of allegations about you, but they're just reporting what your ex said. And yes they clearly thought it was mudslinging because they dismissed it and said straight to final hearing.

The important bit about that letter is the conclusion at the bottom - which sounds like no safeguarding issues, straight to final hearing. So they've ignored her.

Let her keep mud slinging - it'll do you favours in the end! If she does that in her final statement that will be favourable to you and her statement might get dismissed - then you're likely to get what you're asking for. A final statement should only say something that is backed up by evidence and be child focused.

 

[Dadsputupwithsomuchcrap]

Thanks, that is really helpful. Compared to many, mine seems so tame.

Really feel for many of you gents. When your kids are in the middle it’s just so wrong.

I think FHDRA first, so let’s see what the position statement says.

 

[Ash]

You can send a position statement as well. Some of these ex's make allegations to get legal aid and free lawyers. That might be her game.