Any idea on what conditions I could ask for before child is to holiday/temporarily relocate in a non hague country?+What is important to inc in UK CAO

[Another disposable father]

Hi all

So long story short, the ex is from a non hague convention country. I currently have our 3 year old 3 nights a week. She has made all sorts of the worst allegations against me but the court decided no fact find because there is so much evidence to the contrary. She wants to relocate with the child to her country. I have no issue with the child spending time in that country and even going to school in that country because that country because half of their family, history and culture is there. However the ex has stopped me seeing the child in the past twice. Basically the law is useless around this, an 'expert' report cost us £6k, but I really don't want to deny my child at least a holiday to his half home country. Does anyone have any ideas on what conditions I could ask for, even if they can't legally be relied upon?

I'm going to ask for:-
Personal guarantee to cover all legal fees if having to go to court in that country
Not to move address
Weekly video call that clearly shows location
Signed agreement to English court having exclusive jurisdiction
Lodge the child's passport with solicitor in that country

With any breach voiding the agreement and seeking a return to UK. I know it's easier and less risky to just demand child stays in UK and tbh I'd win, but I want my child to have the experience as young as possible so they can soak up the culture and speak both languages like a native and read and write in both languages etc.

Any ideas on anything else I could ask for?

Also if the decision is for the child to remain in the UK with 50:50 shared care, any tips for conditions that are important to be in the CAO?

I know this might be an unusual post but some people might have some good ideas that really make the difference to stop the ex messing around.

 

[capa]

This could help, i would suggest something like this

 

[bujanin]

Hi all

So long story short, the ex is from a non hague convention country. I currently have our 3 year old 3 nights a week. She has made all sorts of the worst allegations against me but the court decided no fact find because there is so much evidence to the contrary. She wants to relocate with the child to her country. I have no issue with the child spending time in that country and even going to school in that country because that country because half of their family, history and culture is there. However the ex has stopped me seeing the child in the past twice. Basically the law is useless around this, an 'expert' report cost us £6k, but I really don't want to deny my child at least a holiday to his half home country. Does anyone have any ideas on what conditions I could ask for, even if they can't legally be relied upon?

I'm going to ask for:-
Personal guarantee to cover all legal fees if having to go to court in that country
Not to move address
Weekly video call that clearly shows location
Signed agreement to English court having exclusive jurisdiction
Lodge the child's passport with solicitor in that country

With any breach voiding the agreement and seeking a return to UK. I know it's easier and less risky to just demand child stays in UK and tbh I'd win, but I want my child to have the experience as young as possible so they can soak up the culture and speak both languages like a native and read and write in both languages etc.

Any ideas on anything else I could ask for?

Also if the decision is for the child to remain in the UK with 50:50 shared care, any tips for conditions that are important to be in the CAO?

I know this might be an unusual post but some people might have some good ideas that really make the difference to stop the ex messing around.

It all sounds precarious especially as you stated that she has previously prevented you seeing your child in the past. And that she wants to return to her home country. That suggests that she has the capacity for doing naughty things.

Does the child have dual citizenship/two passports?

It's not really clear. You say that you are happy for the child to have holidays in that country but you also state that you would be happy for the child to go to school there...

It's good that you've rocked up here I think that you'll get necessary guidance and information.

 

[Another disposable father]

This could help, i would suggest something like thisView attachment 2357

Thank you for this, I will definitely make sure I have those clauses. Do you happen to have any clauses on international travel?

 

[Another disposable father]

It all sounds precarious especially as you stated that she has previously prevented you seeing your child in the past. And that she wants to return to her home country. That suggests that she has the capacity for doing naughty things.

Does the child have dual citizenship/two passports?

It's not really clear. You say that you are happy for the child to have holidays in that country but you also state that you would be happy for the child to go to school there...

It's good that you've rocked up here I think that you'll get necessary guidance and information.

It is very precarious. To be honest I think I must be insane to even consider it. I could easily just say no chance but I do see a benefit to the child and to his mother (I mention that because if mother isn't happy, child won't be happy, but same with father). Yet it's mother that has caused this mess with insane false allegations and witholding the child, if it weren't for that I'd be open to moving there with them for a while (mother is suggesting that believe it or not! after her allegations!)

The problem is, it's very risky but the child only gets one childhood, yes it will be ruined if mother pulls her stunts but also it's severly harmed if I don't allow him to experience a whole half of his identity. Even more so because his mother will use that to alienate him against me. "it's your dad's fault you're not allowed to go to x and see all your family that you see on video call every week"

It's a lose lose, I've looked after him since born alone and catered for his every need (besides the 2 times his mother removed him and prevented contact with wild allegations). Both options have potential for harm, one might be more than the other, but at least I'll know that I'm not the one who's inflicted any harm such a horrible situation.

 

[Scotay]

I wouldn't even entertain the thought of your child moving to a non Hague country.

She has already made false allegation, removed contact.
What do you thing she would do when she knows there is nothing you could do about it?

You should apply for residency and offer her the same guarantees you are asking for from the UK..
Let her move to that country and keep contact alone.

 

[bujanin]

It is very precarious. To be honest I think I must be insane to even consider it. I could easily just say no chance but I do see a benefit to the child and to his mother (I mention that because if mother isn't happy, child won't be happy, but same with father). Yet it's mother that has caused this mess with insane false allegations and witholding the child, if it weren't for that I'd be open to moving there with them for a while (mother is suggesting that believe it or not! after her allegations!)

The problem is, it's very risky but the child only gets one childhood, yes it will be ruined if mother pulls her stunts but also it's severly harmed if I don't allow him to experience a whole half of his identity. Even more so because his mother will use that to alienate him against me. "it's your dad's fault you're not allowed to go to x and see all your family that you see on video call every week"

It's a lose lose, I've looked after him since born a and catered for his every need (besides the 2 times his mother removed him and prevented contact with wild allegations). Both options have potential for harm, one might be more than the other, but at least I'll know that I'm not the one who's inflicted any harm such a horrible situation.

You've looked after him alone means you've been the resident parent or the mother has worked and you've been the stay at home parent?

You come across as generous of spirit but as Scotay drives home in his post, given her previous behaviour this could be a huge mistake. Because of your involvement with the child and the fact that this is the childs known home country it's difficult to see any negative for you pushing for the child to be able to visit the mothers country but to live here with all the necessary safeguards put in place.

There's been more than one bloke on this forum who've lost their kid/s to a foreign country.