Not necessarily dishonest she could mix up dates which isnt usual.. However do point out the dates been wrong if you have proof it didnt happen on the dates as it will be in your favour.
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After some impartial advice....
- Thread starter Jase896
- Start date
I have proof via bank statements that I wasn’t where they claim I was at the time. Would that be arguably in my favour?
There are quite a lot of inaccuracies in her accounts tbh, I have kept my statements short and sweet with credible evidence! Where as she has written an essay with very weak points and evidence! Her and her mum have basically slated me as a parent where I have kept it child focused
I would use it yes. As you can't be in 2 places at same time..
This would qualify her for being a vexatious litigant, you could take out a restraining order on her known as an extended civil restraining order. Google it for yourself and consider the merits. I think in the long term, it's your best option. Once served and applied, the police and the courts will take very little notice of her, and then you can move on without the day to day stress.
I am going to speak to my solicitor when I see them next and discuss options. I thought we could of been adults about this and come to a reasonable outcome in the best interest of our daughter and future child, but instead she is using her as a weapon to hurt me and make me suffer.
Unfortunately, as we have all found on here , people use their children to continue their vendetta. After all, if both parties are reasonable and adult, you wouldn't need to be on this site in the first place.
Best course of action?
1. Pause
2. Think
3. Research
4. Store information under hat for later use.
When a person attends a police station to make an allegation of stalking or domestic abuse, they are sat down with a police officer who fills out a form that used to be called DASH 2009. It is essentially an assesemt tool used by a trained police officer who runs through a list of questions with the claimant.
That list of questions asks explicitly about whether (it paraphrases) that person has ever been subject to controlling and coercive behavior (ie, money control, isolation from friends) forced sex, that kind of thing.
Now, the DASH 2009 form was amended, updated and renamed recently and I'll try to have a look for that in a minute.
It might not be important right now but this form may prove to be *very* important.
Think about when she made the stalking allegation. As that has failed she may try to allege later something else illegal has happened or already have done so. So, if she alleged(for example) in November 2022 to the police she was stalked and then in May 2023 claimed you were coercive and controlling and tries to get you charged with that or the issue comes up in court, the DASH form will prove useful in heavily suggesting that when she was asked specifically about these aspects of her time with you she didn't indicate they were an issue when making a report to the police.
1. Pause
2. Think
3. Research
4. Store information under hat for later use.
When a person attends a police station to make an allegation of stalking or domestic abuse, they are sat down with a police officer who fills out a form that used to be called DASH 2009. It is essentially an assesemt tool used by a trained police officer who runs through a list of questions with the claimant.
That list of questions asks explicitly about whether (it paraphrases) that person has ever been subject to controlling and coercive behavior (ie, money control, isolation from friends) forced sex, that kind of thing.
Now, the DASH 2009 form was amended, updated and renamed recently and I'll try to have a look for that in a minute.
It might not be important right now but this form may prove to be *very* important.
Think about when she made the stalking allegation. As that has failed she may try to allege later something else illegal has happened or already have done so. So, if she alleged(for example) in November 2022 to the police she was stalked and then in May 2023 claimed you were coercive and controlling and tries to get you charged with that or the issue comes up in court, the DASH form will prove useful in heavily suggesting that when she was asked specifically about these aspects of her time with you she didn't indicate they were an issue when making a report to the police.
See she has done the opposite, she made a report in February alleging that I had sexually assaulted her and was controlling and coercive towards her, then 4 months down the line makes a report of me stalking her which has subsequently been NFA’d and I have evidence to suggest her previous claim is malicious too. Would the same principles apply?
So this form may actually help.
When she made the allegation of sexual assault and controlling and coercive behaviour, she will have been asked if she had ever been stalked (in a roundabout way).
If she was asked about stalking in February and the police didn't talk to you it likely means she indicated she had never been stalked by you - otherwise the police would at least had a word. She can't now claim stalking a mere for months later.
Just had a look, still called DASH I think and you can find the form at the bottom of this page. Think you should go straight to download the form and you'll see what I'm getting at.
www.dashriskchecklist.com
When she made the allegation of sexual assault and controlling and coercive behaviour, she will have been asked if she had ever been stalked (in a roundabout way).
If she was asked about stalking in February and the police didn't talk to you it likely means she indicated she had never been stalked by you - otherwise the police would at least had a word. She can't now claim stalking a mere for months later.
Just had a look, still called DASH I think and you can find the form at the bottom of this page. Think you should go straight to download the form and you'll see what I'm getting at.
DASH Risk Checklist
www.dashriskchecklist.com
That’s brilliant, thank you so much!So this form may actually help.
When she made the allegation of sexual assault and controlling and coercive behaviour, she will have been asked if she had ever been stalked (in a roundabout way).
If she was asked about stalking in February and the police didn't talk to you it likely means she indicated she had never been stalked by you - otherwise the police would at least had a word. She can't now claim stalking a mere for months later.
Just had a look, still called DASH I think and you can find the form at the bottom of this page. Think you should go straight to download the form and you'll see what I'm getting at.
DASH Risk Checklist
This is actually the first shed of light I have had in moving forward and something going my way.
No problem.
The only word of caution I would give is this: don't rush to use that bit of information.
2 years after false allegations were made against me I'm only going to refer to DASH 2009 now! - You ain't have to wait that long.
It's interesting for me looking back, because even though I was NFA'd on every allegation, the police took their own merry time. They had the DASH form and knew that all her claims couldn't be true but didn't simply say that!
Think about writing down all the important dates - when she went to the police, what was happening at that time in the court case - had you just been granted a step up in 'contact' and write them down sequentially on a side of A4 and see if the dates marry up.
Then sit on it. The time may come for a Fact Find but it is only at that point that *using* what you know becomes crucial.
And....that's actually an enormous victory.
Even if - God forbid - your case drags on, the judge is making mental notes everyday. They are quietly assessing your reaction to blatant lies at court and judging whether you're ill-tempered and argumentative.
Respondents believe that these allegations can be made without consequence but on a NFA the judge will be quietly taking notes that another allegation made by the Respondent has no foundation. The judge will carry that opinion of you right through to the end of the case and it will have bearing on their decisions.
Hi, the new form is called a DARA. This link will highlight the difference between the two forms.So this form may actually help.
When she made the allegation of sexual assault and controlling and coercive behaviour, she will have been asked if she had ever been stalked (in a roundabout way).
If she was asked about stalking in February and the police didn't talk to you it likely means she indicated she had never been stalked by you - otherwise the police would at least had a word. She can't now claim stalking a mere for months later.
Just had a look, still called DASH I think and you can find the form at the bottom of this page. Think you should go straight to download the form and you'll see what I'm getting at.
DASH Risk Checklist
Thank you!
I have a fact find due anytime after August 2nd, Just awaiting a date. I am going to bide my time and use what I have against her in the correct way! I am not going to lash out or retaliate, she will implode by the way she is reacting in all honesty. All I want is to be a father to my children, I am not interested in arguing with her! I have everything written down and logged in files.
One issue I do have and do not know what to do about, is the fact we are due our second child and the midwife who is looking after my ex partner is also one of her friends and has obviously told her that she doesn't have to give me any details relating to our second child ( I do not even know the gender! ) as I am a risk, and she was also my ex partners first point of call in relation to my alleged sexual assault on her! Does this constitute as a conflict of interest and does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?