Hi all - I am new to this forum so apologies if this is already been discussed.
I am separated from ex wife after 12 years of marriage. Have a 3 year old boy. Separated for 18 months now.
It is high conflict case and ex thinks I don't deserve to be a dad and mere sperm donor. She went crazy after child birth and endless abuses and ranting for hours and hours non stop abusing my parents, and threatened to cut my penis with knife. before I left house she was threatening to charge me with Domestic Voilence. As of now she live in the matrimonial house with my son, and I am renting separately.
Background: both of us have good credit history, reasonable salary, no drugs, alcohols etc, both in corporate jobs ....
2023:
Was visiting matrimonial home to meet son in 2023 few times in a week and would stay for an hour and watch my back
Tried 3 sessions of MIAM and then marriage counselling in 2023 - both failed. She was so abusive on emails to friends and family spreading rumours that I served non molestation order in 2023 which further escalated dynamics between us. She gave an undertaking to court early this year and we can only communicate via family wizard app.
2024
We tried few months to negotiate via lawyers on finance and child matters. no progress as such, she asked for 70% of total assets on finance, said will keep the house till son is 18 years old and insisted Independent social worker if I want nights with child. As per legal advise, I said no to ISW as it is quite expensive.
Applied to courts for both finance and child matters in Q1 2024 and had first hearing already on both matters.
Since beginning of the year - son is going to nursery and I meet him 3 times week during nursery hours for approx an hour, to which nursery is supportive as I am paying child maint. and have parenting rights. Ex didn't agree on weekdays evening or weekends contacts, and Having undertaking for NMO makes it difficult.
I need advice on child matters.
For first hearing - I had a lawyer and Barrister and spent a lot of money, but somehow judge wasn't there on that day and it was rescheduled. CAFCASS said in the safeguarding letter that nursery contact is good and should continue. We had requested Section 7 report. Also domestic abuse towards mom which has escalated things.
Rescheduled first hearing - I was Litigant in person and had a Mckenzie friend. Mom got travel to Hague countries with baby. My nursery contact would continue. We said no to ISW and judge agreed. DRA would be early 2025. All depends on S7 report now.
Now planning for DRA
1. CAFCASS has to submit section 7 report before DRA.
2. Mom continue to insist on ISW for night contacts.
3. She is super vindictive and wont cooperate at all and refuses to come forward for mediation again. Want me to pay for mediation.
4. Keep telling me son doesn't need me in his life and she will not change I know that
Please advise how do we agree on a parenting plan if mom is super angry and vindictive and wont change her mind, or wont come forward for mediation.
Does court write a parenting plan in the final order for DRA?
I am separated from ex wife after 12 years of marriage. Have a 3 year old boy. Separated for 18 months now.
It is high conflict case and ex thinks I don't deserve to be a dad and mere sperm donor. She went crazy after child birth and endless abuses and ranting for hours and hours non stop abusing my parents, and threatened to cut my penis with knife. before I left house she was threatening to charge me with Domestic Voilence. As of now she live in the matrimonial house with my son, and I am renting separately.
Background: both of us have good credit history, reasonable salary, no drugs, alcohols etc, both in corporate jobs ....
2023:
Was visiting matrimonial home to meet son in 2023 few times in a week and would stay for an hour and watch my back
Tried 3 sessions of MIAM and then marriage counselling in 2023 - both failed. She was so abusive on emails to friends and family spreading rumours that I served non molestation order in 2023 which further escalated dynamics between us. She gave an undertaking to court early this year and we can only communicate via family wizard app. 2024
We tried few months to negotiate via lawyers on finance and child matters. no progress as such, she asked for 70% of total assets on finance, said will keep the house till son is 18 years old and insisted Independent social worker if I want nights with child. As per legal advise, I said no to ISW as it is quite expensive.
Applied to courts for both finance and child matters in Q1 2024 and had first hearing already on both matters.
Since beginning of the year - son is going to nursery and I meet him 3 times week during nursery hours for approx an hour, to which nursery is supportive as I am paying child maint. and have parenting rights. Ex didn't agree on weekdays evening or weekends contacts, and Having undertaking for NMO makes it difficult.
I need advice on child matters.
For first hearing - I had a lawyer and Barrister and spent a lot of money, but somehow judge wasn't there on that day and it was rescheduled. CAFCASS said in the safeguarding letter that nursery contact is good and should continue. We had requested Section 7 report. Also domestic abuse towards mom which has escalated things.
Rescheduled first hearing - I was Litigant in person and had a Mckenzie friend. Mom got travel to Hague countries with baby. My nursery contact would continue. We said no to ISW and judge agreed. DRA would be early 2025. All depends on S7 report now.
Now planning for DRA
1. CAFCASS has to submit section 7 report before DRA.
2. Mom continue to insist on ISW for night contacts.
3. She is super vindictive and wont cooperate at all and refuses to come forward for mediation again. Want me to pay for mediation.
4. Keep telling me son doesn't need me in his life and she will not change I know that
Please advise how do we agree on a parenting plan if mom is super angry and vindictive and wont change her mind, or wont come forward for mediation.
Does court write a parenting plan in the final order for DRA?