Advice required

[Fired23]

I’m looking for advice please, my ex has moved 3.5 hours away with my 5 year old son despite me asking her not too and by the time I saw a solicitor she moved two weeks later. So no time for an emergency application. She has moved to live with her partner of 2 years but will not give me his address.

This was six weeks ago and she has brought her back once since then to see me and is now refusing to bring him again before mediation. He also came to me with a medical issue that he had before going away but she had missed the drs appointments. I have now taken him.

I don’t have a car so can’t go there. I’m awaiting a court date for mediation but I really want her to move back here as all my son’s family are here including my other son. Is there anything I can do before mediation to get her to agree to bring him regularly? And what should I be asking for in mediation?

 

[Resolute]

I do not think mediation is going to solve this. I suggest you work out a way of doing this by public transport. I have been in a similar situation for years. I regularly travel for 8 hrs or more on public transport to have 3hrs with my kid. My ex thought the distance would give her a win. That I would run out of steam. My only defence has been not to run out of steam.

Courts are not likely to tell your ex where she has to live. Mostly the non-resident parent is expected to do the travel, there are exceptions to this. They may make an order that the child lives with you instead. That would require a strong welfare argument against the move.

Sorry to be a little doom and gloom, but I think you may need to move or find a way around the travel barrier. I would get sign off from a mediator ASAP and get your application in. You cannot really mediate on a move that has already happened. There are services that do "express miam", "court mian" and other phrases like that. You can just get the cert.

 

[Fired23]

Thank you for your reply. I can’t move as my other son lives near me but he is also not in the same county, he lives an hour away. His mother brings him to me every other weekend but I need to be here for that. I was having them both the same weekend so they can see each other.

There is a small chance her not taking him to the drs could be a welfare concern as he now requires a minor procedure to correct the issue. However I think this may not be enough.

 

[Resolute]

If you cannot move it is hard. While you are not seeing the child a status quo is created without you. If you find a way of doing the travel you can prevent that from happening.