Hi, a DRA is upcoming. The S7 went terribly; despite me assuming the FCA would interrogate the evidence provided, the report is paragraph after paragraph of untrue claims - simply parroting what Mum has said. Even basic facts about the case history are plainly wrong, and wrong in a way that paints me in a negative light and mum in a positive light. Any wrongdoings on mum’s part are discussed like “both parties are equally bad and are causing hostility”. All communications are civil and respectful and there is evidence of this; despite this, the report uses the word “hostility” because mum has said that there is hostility. The report talks about me subjecting our child to “protracted litigation” yet the court has found in my favour with respect to the previous (and only) set of proceedings. The starting point was I had no PR and limited access and our child wasn’t immunised. Our child now has a home with me (albeit for limited time periods and to an odd schedule), is immunised and I have PR. All the above matters were fought to the bitter end by mum and “won” by me (it could be argued that I didn’t achieve the child arrangements I hoped for but it’s always a negotiation and considering what Mum was hoping to achieve, it was certainly a success for me).
The fact that there have been previous proceedings is being used as a means to propose a barring order (mum is claiming “repeated litigation that is maliciously causing me and our child mental harm and we are victims of domestic abuse because of it” the other claim is “Dad has reduced his working hours to care for our child so I receive less money so we can’t afford a holiday abroad so I’m a victim of financial abuse” and hence mum has legal aid and is surrounded by Domestic abuse workers). I think I have the response to the barring order nailed down as I’m aware of the case law, but you never know, certainly I’m confident I would win an appeal.
Anyway, the s7 report is dead against any change at all to the pattern of care (which looks a bit like EOW plus a midweek overnight, except the midweek overnight is Weds 3pm to Thurs 6pm, and the weekend is Fri 9am to Sun 6pm). I should say that the rationale behind the schedule ordered was that our child should be able to be comfortable in her home with me. Our child has 4 days and 3 nights with me per fortnight basically. The report is recommending on 2 of those days, our child spends the full day at pre-school instead of with me.
The impact this would have would be the number of daytimes (9am to 4pm) with me halves from 4 to 2. There isn’t an equivalent impact to the days child is with mum. It would mean that I drive to mum’s house (25 min journey) for 9am on a Friday, I collect child from Mum’s and drop child off at nursery at 9:05, I return home, I go back again to nursery at end of day and collect child and take child home with me. This makes no sense. Logically, Mum should just drop child at nursery in the morning. But this was not the intent of the court when they ordered that child should have a Friday to Sunday weekend with me. The intent was to order significant time with me. They never ordered the above silly arrangement.
So perhaps it’s best just to say that mum just drops child at nursery on a Friday and 6 or 7 hours get cut from the scheduled time with Dad. But it’s just not right. Genuinely our child would find this devastating. She is already begging for more time at our home (or just “home” as she calls it), but the proposition is that this time actually reduces rather than increases. The same goes for the Thursday child spends with me, it’s being proposed that this is removed (it’s proposed that I drive child to nursery, I drive home, I drive back to nursery at end of day, collect child and bring child home, I drive child back again to Mum’s house in evening and then I drive back to mine - 150 mins driving in a day).
So my question is - what should my response be? Cafcass are dead set against any positive change to the schedule saying “any change to a schedule is harmful” but simultaneously making a big change. If, say, Fridays are conceded (and child will go to school eventually anyway tbf), I think child should spend more time at the paternal home elsewhere in the week. Child will start to become a stranger in her own home and a stranger to her sibling.
The current “full weekend” is not a full weekend by the way. It’s until 6pm on a Sunday (effectively 5:30pm to give time to drive to Mum’s). The Thursday schedule proposed by Cafcass is mayhem, an overnight on the Thursday followed by a drop-off at nursery on the Friday morning would make perfect sense.
Bizarrely as well, Mum is claiming handovers are fraught and hostile (they’re not at all). I’m proposing handovers at nursery. But my proposal is rejected. My proposals reduce the pointless journeys our child currently undertakes, the cafcass plan increases it.
Any advice on what to propose? Is there any hope at all when Cafcass recommendations are the way that they are? There’s no end in sight. It’s just a case of “wait until child is older and can make a choice for herself”, which is such boll*cks really when you think about it.
The fact that there have been previous proceedings is being used as a means to propose a barring order (mum is claiming “repeated litigation that is maliciously causing me and our child mental harm and we are victims of domestic abuse because of it” the other claim is “Dad has reduced his working hours to care for our child so I receive less money so we can’t afford a holiday abroad so I’m a victim of financial abuse” and hence mum has legal aid and is surrounded by Domestic abuse workers). I think I have the response to the barring order nailed down as I’m aware of the case law, but you never know, certainly I’m confident I would win an appeal.
Anyway, the s7 report is dead against any change at all to the pattern of care (which looks a bit like EOW plus a midweek overnight, except the midweek overnight is Weds 3pm to Thurs 6pm, and the weekend is Fri 9am to Sun 6pm). I should say that the rationale behind the schedule ordered was that our child should be able to be comfortable in her home with me. Our child has 4 days and 3 nights with me per fortnight basically. The report is recommending on 2 of those days, our child spends the full day at pre-school instead of with me.
The impact this would have would be the number of daytimes (9am to 4pm) with me halves from 4 to 2. There isn’t an equivalent impact to the days child is with mum. It would mean that I drive to mum’s house (25 min journey) for 9am on a Friday, I collect child from Mum’s and drop child off at nursery at 9:05, I return home, I go back again to nursery at end of day and collect child and take child home with me. This makes no sense. Logically, Mum should just drop child at nursery in the morning. But this was not the intent of the court when they ordered that child should have a Friday to Sunday weekend with me. The intent was to order significant time with me. They never ordered the above silly arrangement.
So perhaps it’s best just to say that mum just drops child at nursery on a Friday and 6 or 7 hours get cut from the scheduled time with Dad. But it’s just not right. Genuinely our child would find this devastating. She is already begging for more time at our home (or just “home” as she calls it), but the proposition is that this time actually reduces rather than increases. The same goes for the Thursday child spends with me, it’s being proposed that this is removed (it’s proposed that I drive child to nursery, I drive home, I drive back to nursery at end of day, collect child and bring child home, I drive child back again to Mum’s house in evening and then I drive back to mine - 150 mins driving in a day).
So my question is - what should my response be? Cafcass are dead set against any positive change to the schedule saying “any change to a schedule is harmful” but simultaneously making a big change. If, say, Fridays are conceded (and child will go to school eventually anyway tbf), I think child should spend more time at the paternal home elsewhere in the week. Child will start to become a stranger in her own home and a stranger to her sibling.
The current “full weekend” is not a full weekend by the way. It’s until 6pm on a Sunday (effectively 5:30pm to give time to drive to Mum’s). The Thursday schedule proposed by Cafcass is mayhem, an overnight on the Thursday followed by a drop-off at nursery on the Friday morning would make perfect sense.
Bizarrely as well, Mum is claiming handovers are fraught and hostile (they’re not at all). I’m proposing handovers at nursery. But my proposal is rejected. My proposals reduce the pointless journeys our child currently undertakes, the cafcass plan increases it.
Any advice on what to propose? Is there any hope at all when Cafcass recommendations are the way that they are? There’s no end in sight. It’s just a case of “wait until child is older and can make a choice for herself”, which is such boll*cks really when you think about it.