Advice on Parental Alienation accusations

[37Sep]

Hi All,

I’m in a bit of an odd situation in that my daughter was dropped to me 10 weeks ago to “calm down” following an argument and physical fight with her mum and has refused to speak to, see or return to her mum since. no issue to me I would have both kids live with me anytime, however I have been accused of withholding her from her mum and suspect will be accused of PA if it goes to court (again I suspect it will) Ultimately I want her to have a relationship with mum and will happily drop her off to meet mum any day or time, however She claims at present she will not see or speak to her mum, unfortunately mum lives on her parents property in a caravan and her father is quite emotionally abusive to our children particularly the eldest who has rolled Mum, Nan and grandad into one ball of hatred as a result. I have safeguarding at school involved, also a safeguarding officer from a charity offering support and advice, and a councillor waiting in the wings if/when our daughter is ready to talk about things! Any advice or suggestions for defending the PA accusations for when it goes to court would be appreciated.

 

[Ash]

Hi. How old is your daughter?
Have you contacted social services to speak to your daughter?

I think if your ex does make a court application (Depending on the age of your daughter), you would need evidential backup of your daughter's abuse at her Mum's home. Ideally from social services or possibly the charity you mentioned or school (although school would usually refer to social services).

 

[Peanut 21]

I remember from your original post your eldest is 13.
I wouldn't worry about being accused of PA.
Your daughter was dropped off to you. You didn't take her and withhold her.

When the school/social workers speak to her it sounds like she will tell them how she feels about her mother and grandparents.
At 13 court would be a waste of time.
I think you're in a good position with your eldest. It's your younger child that needs consideration in terms of her living situation.

 

[37Sep]

Thanks for your replies, yes my eldest is 13, and youngest is 10, I have one recording in which grandad is advising my daughter she is a guest in the house she was supposed to be resident in which she managed to record and send to me while I was away at work also a few text messages between myself and my ex when we were all living there in relation to her fathers conduct, I have need advised differing things in relation to social services as with how volatile things are my solicitor thinks it may make it worse if they are involved. The youngest daughters school don’t see her as at risk of immediate harm so have said they will keep an eye but would not be referring, and the eldest daughters school have advised that as she is with me and not running away or refusing to return home anymore (which she was whilst at mums) they don’t see any safeguarding issues so will also not be referring to social services. I’m just currently weighing up options in relation to court as whilst I’m seeing littlun twice a week she is asking for more as am I and her sister, plus it would be good to have it all formalised through court so we can all move on with our lives. Just struggling to work out what to do for the best for our 13 year old and her little sister who is way more stuck in the middle.