Accused of abuse by mother and children - HELP!

[Pacific16]

My huge worry is that the court have tried to dismiss CAFCASS and asked the social worker to complete the section 7 instead, but she has been dishonest and completely biased towards mum, even withholding evidence.

The social worker concluded “I think father is abusing his children and will leave lifelong psychological scars”. I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING. I’m heartbroken nd so scared that I am being accused, and almost found guilty of something I simply haven’t done.

I am a senior lecturerer who specialises in safeguarding. I lecture to trainee teachers on effective safeguarding. If this is all wrongly confirmed, I will lose my job as well. I really am worried and just don’t know how to challenge it all

 

[mva]

Any civil court process/accusations wont show up on a dbs check, so shouldnt affect your job unless actual criminal conviction.

 

[Pacific16]

Well that’s one thing I can be relieved about. Still…we’ve not done anything wrong and are having to worry about our future livelihoods.

I am also concerned that the LA have been asked to provide the section 7 report…not CAFCASS. Given our concerns with the social worker and that she withheld all evidence that supported Father’s position from the court, how can we go about challenging this and insisting on CAFCASS completing the report?

 

[Peanut 21]

The social worker concluded “I think father is abusing his children and will leave lifelong psychological scars”.

Based on what though?
Seems very opinionated.

 

[Pacific16]

This is our concern. I have no idea why but the social worker did everything she can to beat dad up. Withheld evidence we provided, lied about not having emails we know (and have proof) that she had, introduced new allegations that neither the children or mother had raised, attempted to discredit the therapist who had worked with the boys for 10 months and had no concerns with dad at all (the therapist has 2 Masters quals!!!)…I could go on and on.

My worry is this social worker writes the section 7 report that goes to the judge. We’ve now got to prove she is lying and the mother is lying and the children are lying because they’ve been brainwashed.

 

[Ash]

This is standard, that if SS are already involved, they will be asked to do the S7. What you then have to rely on is undermining the S7 report as flawed, at a final hearing.

 

[mainstay92]

Well that’s one thing I can be relieved about. Still…we’ve not done anything wrong and are having to worry about our future livelihoods.

I am also concerned that the LA have been asked to provide the section 7 report…not CAFCASS. Given our concerns with the social worker and that she withheld all evidence that supported Father’s position from the court, how can we go about challenging this and insisting on CAFCASS completing the report?

If you have proof of all what she withheld. Show the court. Use your evidence to prove information has been withheld.

 

[Pacific16]

An update having met the solicitor…the therapist’s report holds some…but little weight which is disappointing as it does nothing but advocate the steps I have taken to support the children emotionally.

What is difficult to take is that because Mother filed the application and made (false) allegations, the burden of proof is now on me to prove that they are false. And in the meantime, the children have lost all contact with their dad bar 3 supervised hours per week.

This seems grossly unfair and all my hopes are now on the same judge, who knows the history of the case and knows that mum has tried a s similar trick before.

 

[Peanut 21]

Did your solicitor say the burden was on you disprove the allegations?
If so that's BS.
The burden is on the alleger!!!

 

[Pacific16]

The problem is that the social worker has believed mother, and the children have alleged exactly the same mum. Therefore the section 7 report will be damning.

Our case all along is that the children have been badly manipulated over years to this point, and that is what we now have to demonstrate, starting by saying we do not recognise any of the section 7 report at dad’s house.

 

[mainstay92]

The problem is that the social worker has believed mother, and the children have alleged exactly the same mum. Therefore the section 7 report will be damning.

Our case all along is that the children have been badly manipulated over years to this point, and that is what we now have to demonstrate, starting by saying we do not recognise any of the section 7 report at dad’s house.

Has any Allegations been made to the police ? It's the responsibility of your ex to prove she is telling the truth..
However whatever u have if u have texts, happy videos of your times with the kids etc use as your proof

 

[Pacific16]

Has any Allegations been made to the police ? It's the responsibility of your ex to prove she is telling the truth..
However whatever u have if u have texts, happy videos of your times with the kids etc use as your proof

She has made allegations to the police, but it was referred to children services. They have conducted an assessment and in short, believe all the allegations as the children said exactly the same as their mum.

We don’t recognise any of the allegations, but have made so so many requests to the schools to support the boys who are continually exposed to negative portrayal of dad. They have been good in fairness.

Re photos and videos…we literally have 1000s. I started compiling them all to show “does this really look like abused children?”

It’s just so sad to hear your children, who you have literally done everything for (moved house, given up career, take to therapy, etc etc) say what they have to try and get you in trouble. I know it’s not their voices really, but they now almost refuse to talk on FaceTime.

 

[mainstay92]

She has made allegations to the police, but it was referred to children services. They have conducted an assessment and in short, believe all the allegations as the children said exactly the same as their mum.

We don’t recognise any of the allegations, but have made so so many requests to the schools to support the boys who are continually exposed to negative portrayal of dad. They have been good in fairness.

Re photos and videos…we literally have 1000s. I started compiling them all to show “does this really look like abused children?”

It’s just so sad to hear your children, who you have literally done everything for (moved house, given up career, take to therapy, etc etc) say what they have to try and get you in trouble. I know it’s not their voices really, but they now almost refuse to talk on FaceTime.

I know and very disheartening if the social worker are siding with them. Though if it goes to a fact find, the social worker can be questioned too. Sometimes on the s7 report they can also say they feel the mother is speaking negatively about the father in front of the children. Kids can say stuff but alot of the time it's because they are been told what to say and this is recognised in the courts. They usually recognise this even in the words kids are using that would not be words used by kids of a certain age so when you get mother's position statement look at the use of language the kids are using. We used videos in court , it was very clear the kids where happy and been alienating. I know it's stressful but keep going and enjoy the 3hours with your kids

 

[Richard Little]

I know and very disheartening if the social worker are siding with them. Though if it goes to a fact find, the social worker can be questioned too. Sometimes on the s7 report they can also say they feel the mother is speaking negatively about the father in front of the children. Kids can say stuff but alot of the time it's because they are been told what to say and this is recognised in the courts. They usually recognise this even in the words kids are using that would not be words used by kids of a certain age so when you get mother's position statement look at the use of language the kids are using. We used videos in court , it was very clear the kids where happy and been alienating. I know it's stressful but keep going and enjoy the 3hours with your kids

I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

SS prepared a devastating S7 report when I first made a c100 application. The report made sweeping statements (without any evidence) that were aligned with mother’s false allegations, and it was clear (to me) they had been hoodwinked and had believed all of the nonsense that had been fed to them. Their statements and recommendations still haunt me.

The reports author attended the hearing and my solicitor was able to ask them some direct questions re the report and its recommendations - it turned out this was the first S7 report this person had written and that their recommendations were made in favour of the mother as they had been ‘expected’ to do this. By whom or why was not delved into.

Many hearings later and following CAFCASS producing a second S7 report the children live with me and spend time with mother.

Thoughts and prayers with you

 

[Peanut 21]

were made in favour of the mother as they had been ‘expected’ to do this. By whom or why was not delved into

I think they inadvertently admitted what we all suspect is the case.

 

[mainstay92]

I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

SS prepared a devastating S7 report when I first made a c100 application. The report made sweeping statements (without any evidence) that were aligned with mother’s false allegations, and it was clear (to me) they had been hoodwinked and had believed all of the nonsense that had been fed to them. Their statements and recommendations still haunt me.

The reports author attended the hearing and my solicitor was able to ask them some direct questions re the report and its recommendations - it turned out this was the first S7 report this person had written and that their recommendations were made in favour of the mother as they had been ‘expected’ to do this. By whom or why was not delved into.

Many hearings later and following CAFCASS producing a second S7 report the children live with me and spend time with mother.

Thoughts and prayers with you

That's a really good report for them saying children to live with you

 

[Pacific16]

That's a really good report for them saying children to live with you

That's a really good report for them saying children to live with you

 

[Pacific16]

Hi

It’s been a while since I have posted here as I am still trying to come to terms with what has happened.

In addition to the devastating loss of my children, I hope temporarily, I have worked in education for 25 years and coached kids’ football for 27 years. Never had a single co plaint or concern raised.

However, today I have learned the county FA have ‘red flagged’ me and now I am banned from any coaching / football involvement with children. Inevitably, this is going to impact my job hard as well.

I cannot believe the collateral damage that I am experiencing from such a malicious and false allegation (which mother has made before) and how the views of one very young social worker are so far reaching.

Any advice or reassurance is welcomed as currently every aspect of my life is falling apart, in addition to my children pretty much now refusing to talk to me on FaceTime when they are with their mum.

 

[Ash]

I am really sorry to hear this. You need to ask them for documentary evidence as to why this has happened. Someone must have made malicious allegations about you to the FA because Family Court stuff is private. I would do a subject access report on the FA as well (it might tell you more than they do).

Hang in there. Are you still getting supervised time? A contact centre would be better because you can't trust ex's Mum.

Do you have a barrister lined up for the hearing? You'll need one.

Yes a number of people have said social services Section 7's can be worse than Cafcass (although some Cafcass S7's have been pretty bad as well) and very Mum biased, believing what she says without evidence.

In my limited experience, if they think a Mother risks losing residency, they kind of gang up to protect her. SS and Cafcass seem to have a horror of a Mother not being a resident parent (even if it's 50/50). If she has breached a 50/50 order and alienated the kids then she does indeed risk losing residency even shared lives with, so they are protecting her and either believing things literally or just not experienced enough to spot the children have been alienated (which is common - they aren't trained in parental alienation). Of course they will dismiss your therapist reports.

So what you need is a good barrister for the next hearing, and for them to ask for either psychologists reports on both parents (which would prove alienation) or, if that isn't affordable, an Independent Social Worker report. It is probably easier to get the former ordered than the latter, because if Social Services are already involved they might say an ISW report isn't necessary. Psychologists reports can cost £7000 upwards.

You must be really missing your boys and it's also distressing when they've been brainwashed against you. Try to keep some belief there. With alienated children the "real child" is still inside and the alienation can actually wear off quite quickly if they are with you for say 10 days and no contact with the Mother.

 

[Pacific16]

Hi all. As always, thank you so much for everyone’s support, advice and guidance. This makes a huge difference to me and gives me some hope that things can get better.

Today I have received the child and family assessment report and it is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to read. To summarise I have been accused of physically and emotionally abusing my 2 boys by their ex, but only since the change in living arrangements to 50/50 3 years ago. There is an extensive case hostory and I have repeatedly tried to enlist support for their emotional wellbeing through the school and privately.

However, the report repeatedly states I harm the children emotionally, am difficult, controlling, etc etc and puts mum on a pedestal. The recommendation is change for children to only live with mum, and only for supervised contact with dad, and only if the children want it (they’re 8&9).

The safeguarding records of the school paint a very different picture, and evidence I have tried repeatedly to support their emotional wellbeing, and even provides evidence that mum helped the children make disclosures about dad (came direct from child to their headteacher). However, in spite of these, the social worker has given me a kicking and made her recommendations that they live with her solely.

Hoping to meet solicitor tomorrow and gain clarity re what next. The suggestion was initially an ISW which I think is still right, but how do we dismiss such a damning report.

To stress again, I lecture on safeguarding, have an unblemished record of 33 years working with children for the FA and 25 years unblemished in education. I’ve led on student well-being in schools and been graded outstanding for doing so by Ofsted. How is all of this overlooked based on 8&9 year old voices?

Guess I’m asking whether anyone has had similar experiences and successfully contested the initial report.