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Abh charge

Thank you so much for your reply.
I looked at the appclose looks amazing but don't have the £150 odd to pay for it after the 14 day free trial, any ideas of a similar one that free?
Think that would be amazing to give to the judge Friday and I could also put forward a silent hand over and to use the app he might go for that .

I would love nothing more than I've night as i can do more withy boy then now I only have 4hrs and not a lot I can do .

C2 application approved cort date November first week so hopefully I can get something then.

The one court arranged was middle of December after SS has down there section 7 report.

The court date in November, I applied for my son to live with me as ex has the Abh charge know it's very unlikely I'll get that but would it be worth me asking for over night contact then?

Was thinking of saying, It would take some of the pressure off the ex having our son 24/7 aminus my 4hrs every other day , alway with the worries around the violence , and would be a great bonding time for my son and I , or is there a better way I could do/say it?
 
damon said:
Thank you so much for your reply.
I looked at the appclose looks amazing but don't have the £150 odd to pay for it after the 14 day free trial, any ideas of a similar one that free?
Think that would be amazing to give to the judge Friday and I could also put forward a silent hand over and to use the app he might go for that .

I would love nothing more than I've night as i can do more withy boy then now I only have 4hrs and not a lot I can do .

C2 application approved cort date November first week so hopefully I can get something then.

The one court arranged was middle of December after SS has down there section 7 report.

The court date in November, I applied for my son to live with me as ex has the Abh charge know it's very unlikely I'll get that but would it be worth me asking for over night contact then?

Was thinking of saying, It would take some of the pressure off the ex having our son 24/7 aminus my 4hrs every other day , alway with the worries around the violence , and would be a great bonding time for my son and I , or is there a better way I could do/say it?
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Appclose is free, link below. It’s American but UK courts and Cafcass approve it. You can even convert all the messages to pdf to give to court if needed as evidence and no messages can be deleted which is good.

AppClose - The Best Co-Parenting App

appclose.com appclose.com

You may get a change in arrangements due to her charge of ABH so it’s worth an ask. You definitely need to do a position statement requesting what you want and if not a change of residence you need to set out interim arrangements to include more time with you than you currently have @Ash may be able to help you with this.
 
damon said:
Thank you for your reply means a lot with all the information help and support you are all giving me.
Sorry not been on been running around trying to short everything out.
So the court case went ahead and they pleaded NOT guilty.

So the judge in the magistrates court said they couldn't deal with this case so have moved it to crown court.
Next month they have to go and make thee ple again and if the do not guilty again it will go to trial .

Bail conditions are only for my mum and brother not me ...they are no direct or in direct contact with my mum or brother.
I have been to police station 3 times to find out why they are not using my statement or why I ain't named on the bail.
So they have said it's because I had said I can't use my statement as the ex will stop me seeing my child, so Im not hold much hope to be able to get legal aid now either if they ain't using my statement and I'm not named on the bail conditions then I can't see me getting legal aid or the non molestation order.

I tried to explain to the police that the ex said if I go ahead with my statement I won't be able to see my child.

I have court end of the week for the non molestation application I put in to see if the judge will grant me one or not but not holding much hope for it.

I have an appointment with a solicitor this week to see about legal aid also.

Also I have 50% pr over my child, am I able to take him to the doctors if he was poorly without informing the mother that I'm doing it or will that look bad on me that I never told her?
Thank you
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For legal aid -
1. You mentioned that you are dyslexic, which may be considered a disability. As a result, you may need professional help and cannot litigate in person (LIP).
2. Your ex has been charged with ABH pending trial, which is considered domestic violence. Due to your child, they didn't impose any restrictions between you and your ex. But you can request restrictions in NMO with a flexible condition of only meeting during handover in any supermarket or public location with cameras.
3. If you have a low income and no savings.

Yes, you should take your child to the doctor and then inform the mother.

For the NMO hearing, try to arrange a solicitor or barrister.
You should explain the 3 points mentioned above to several solicitors so they can advise you properly and make a legal aid application.
 
I have been on the phone all day trying to get appointment with a solicitor. Will keep.on.trying tomorrow
 
Hi everyone have a massive favour to ask if you all don't mind.

I have court tomorrow for my nmo order to hopefully get granted, was put in hold till outcome from the court case involving ex and her parents.
So she been charged with ABH pending trail will find out 25th October if she pleads guilty or not.

So I have no idea what to say to the judge tomorrow, he was very serious last time and within 2 Min I knew he wasn't going through Give e it.
.
I am hopeless at talking in front of people I get my words wrong way around and get my self in a dizzy .

So last time he asked me

Why am I asking for a nmo?
What harm is likely to come to me if I don't get one?
What will it improve if I do get one?
What about contact at handover for your child?

These was some of the questions he asked last time .

Anyone got any ideas what I can say for tomorrow court case ?
 
damon said:
Hi everyone have a massive favour to ask if you all don't mind.

I have court tomorrow for my nmo order to hopefully get granted, was put in hold till outcome from the court case involving ex and her parents.
So she been charged with ABH pending trail will find out 25th October if she pleads guilty or not.

So I have no idea what to say to the judge tomorrow, he was very serious last time and within 2 Min I knew he wasn't going through Give e it.
.
I am hopeless at talking in front of people I get my words wrong way around and get my self in a dizzy .

So last time he asked me

Why am I asking for a nmo?
What harm is likely to come to me if I don't get one?
What will it improve if I do get one?
What about contact at handover for your child?

These was some of the questions he asked last time .

Anyone got any ideas what I can say for tomorrow court case ?
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Why am I asking for a nmo?

I would like a NMO to protect myself from miss exs volatile and unpredictable behaviour.



What harm is likely to come to me if I don't get one?

I am unsure of the particular harm, but due to miss ex already attacking myself, mum and brother and awaiting a plea hearing and potentially trial for ABH, I am very worried what she may do to me due to her unpredictable and violent behaviour. I feel that her behaviour may escalate and I am scared of what might happen if it does.



What will it improve if I do get one?

It will prevent/deter Miss ex from causing me physical or emotional abuse, and will also protect our son from witnessing any abuse or conflict that may cause him emotional harm. It will mean that I feel a little safer to go about my life without fear of domestic abuse.



What about contact at handover for your child?

I would hope that with the NMO in place I will be protected from physical or emotional abuse and our son will not have to witness conflict and abuse at handovers. We can have no communication between ourselves during handovers and have all our attention on talking to our son to make the transition from one parent to the other seem less for him. I propose we communicate child arrangements, any updates relating to his health, welfare and education in the parenting app Appclose, and would like this included in the NMO as the exception to not contact.



Non mol with the following conditions:



  1. The respondent, Miss Ex, must not use or threaten violence against the applicant, mr xx, and must not instruct, encourage or in any way suggest that any other person should do so.
  2. The respondent, Miss Ex must not intimidate, harass or pester the applicant, Mr xx, and must not instruct, encourage or in any way suggest that any other person should do so.
  3. The respondent, Miss Ex, must not telephone, text, email or otherwise contact or attempt to contact the applicant, Mr xx, (including via social networking websites or other forms of electronic messaging) except for the purpose of making arrangements between the applicant and the relevant child to spend time with each other and/or providing the applicant with relevant updates regarding the relevant child's welfare, health and education only.
    Communication is to take place via the parenting app, AppClose, only.
  4. The respondent, Miss ex must not damage, attempt to damage or threaten to damage any property owned by or in the possession or control of the applicant, mr xx and must not instruct, encourage or in any way suggest that any other person should do so.
  5. The respondent, Miss ex must not damage, attempt to damage or threaten to damage the property or contents of the applicant's home address, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx and must not instruct, encourage or in any way suggest that any other person should do so.
Non-Molestation Order - Zonal
6. The respondent, Miss ex must not go to, enter or attempt to enter xxxxx


You will need to change Miss ex to her name mr ex to yours and add your address at 5. and your street name at 6.
 
Hi everyone
So update
The judge didn't grant me the nmo today.
Said there it's a family court matter as it's all based around our child.

So he said he wants a final hearing in 3 weeks time and it would be 3hr ....I have no idea why that long,

He did tell the ex she is on thin ice and anything more and he might just change his mind.

So the judge said when she left the room , to concentrate on the hearing I have in November for the c2 form I have put in.

I guess that's my next task.
I have put in the form to have my son live with me and not the mother because of the Abh ,
I know it's a massive shot and more than likely I won't get it so was wondering what I do if they say no to that.
What do I ask for?

I have contacted solicitors, doctor,police and can't get anything to say I have suffered DV, so no help with legal aid.

I have contacted nspcc today tho as my mum got chatting to a solicitor , honestly she can start a conversation with anyone heheh, he was the one who suggested it as was saying about the bruises on my boy and small clothes, I emailed them my worries explaining the Social worker is not interested and also sent them few pics.

Hopefully I'll hear back soon, also the solicitor said he don't see a point going back to court for the nmo unless something else happens in the meantime but I think the ex will be on her best behaviour now tho.

I feel so deflated 😞 now worried I will get nothing from the c2 court case next month.
I have no idea what to say if they say no to my boy being with me full time, will I look bad if I say I want 50-50 at least then or weekends im dont know what to do for my son now I feel like I'm letting him down big time .
 
damon said:
Hi everyone
So update
The judge didn't grant me the nmo today.
Said there it's a family court matter as it's all based around our child.

So he said he wants a final hearing in 3 weeks time and it would be 3hr ....I have no idea why that long,

He did tell the ex she is on thin ice and anything more and he might just change his mind.

So the judge said when she left the room , to concentrate on the hearing I have in November for the c2 form I have put in.

I guess that's my next task.
I have put in the form to have my son live with me and not the mother because of the Abh ,
I know it's a massive shot and more than likely I won't get it so was wondering what I do if they say no to that.
What do I ask for?

I have contacted solicitors, doctor,police and can't get anything to say I have suffered DV, so no help with legal aid.

I have contacted nspcc today tho as my mum got chatting to a solicitor , honestly she can start a conversation with anyone heheh, he was the one who suggested it as was saying about the bruises on my boy and small clothes, I emailed them my worries explaining the Social worker is not interested and also sent them few pics.

Hopefully I'll hear back soon, also the solicitor said he don't see a point going back to court for the nmo unless something else happens in the meantime but I think the ex will be on her best behaviour now tho.

I feel so deflated 😞 now worried I will get nothing from the c2 court case next month.
I have no idea what to say if they say no to my boy being with me full time, will I look bad if I say I want 50-50 at least then or weekends im dont know what to do for my son now I feel like I'm letting him down big time .
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Sorry to hear you didn’t get the NMO. It may be worth saving for a direct access barrister for the C2 hearing, they are better than solicitors. Did the judge give a reason why you couldn’t have it? Was this a hearing with ex there or not?

My son’s NMO was not granted the first two times but the NMO was consolidated with the child arrangements order and he was given it at the next hearing, with a good statement. It also helped the ex kicked off in court shouting and swearing I guess.

If you get a direct access barrister they can write a position statement explaining why change of residence for your son is good. But they can explain that if the court doesn’t agree you would like 50 50 shared care as this is in your sons best interests and they can explain why. If you can’t get a direct access barrister, people on here can help you write a good position statement for your next hearing.

Your not letting your son down at all, your unfortunately having to jump hoops like most dads on here have had to, and many more dads who haven’t found this site yet, which is totally unfair on all dads. But you can do it, cos your son needs you!

What region are you in?
 
Hi,
Yeah the ex was there , he said it was a family court matter as everything was around our son. And didn't see a good enough reason for me to have it.

He said no to the appclose and no to silent contact for drop off and pick up.

He did say that the ex has put in a nmo against me, didn't say anything else about it.

Are the direct access barrister
Expensive? I don't work At the moment I am looking
Putting everything on the table I have about £700 savings I have scrapped together .

I'm in Devon (UK).

Question......The social worker said to my mum that with the ex's concerns (allegations) about me drinking,mental health and being homeless that she wants my mum there to supervise my contact untill the social worker can talk to me and get to the bottom of it.
There is no court order for this at all,court order does however state tho that the ex is to have her sister there with her at every hand over and pick up and she doesn't have her there all the time. Ex made out she was worried doing it herself.

So my question is my mum has said she is not going to turn up at pick up or drop off anymore , she has only been turning up because I got jumped and she wanted to make sure that if anything happened again she was there ...( I wouldn't like to mess with my mum hahaha) , she don't supervise me when I have my son she goes about her day she does spend some days with us as we live in the same house but she does give my son and me time together ,
The ex has said if my mum isn't there she will not hand me our son for contact, my mum has said she knows it will be hard but it will rattle the ex's cage and her stopping my contact will just be good for me and I have court in 4 weeks for the c2.

Is that worth doing or just keep to my mum being there like the social worker said?
 
Hi everyone hope.you all good

I have got a meeting tomorrow with the social worker.

Was wondering if there is anything I should be asking her?

I have also got the nspcc involved , showed them pics and said my worries and they she. Said teh pics are very concerning.

Do I mention to the social worker that nspcc arw involved?
Do I say anything about the court case on 1st November that I'm asking for our support n to live with me ?
Or if the court say no that I'm asking for 50/50 or something more than just 4hr every other day, like weekends or something if you know what I mean .
Do I ask if anything is in place for our son in case the ex pleads guilty at end of the month and the worse happens and she gets sent down?

Should I asked social worker what her views are with the pics again now that nspcc are involved?
And what here view and recommendations are on the court case in November and what I'm asking for?

I don't want to say anything to the social worker that will mess anything up for me if you know what I mean
 
Sorry for just keep messaging on here.
Well had a shitty day.

I got arrested this morning the ex has accused me of rape and sexual abuse in the whole relationship.

They have said I can still pick my child up but no talking to her.
On bail for 3 months now.
I'm so worried the SS are now going to get an emergency hearing and stop me seeing my son because of he disgusting lies.
And this is going to massively effect the hearing in November
 
damon said:
Sorry for just keep messaging on here.
Well had a shitty day.

I got arrested this morning the ex has accused me of rape and sexual abuse in the whole relationship.

They have said I can still pick my child up but no talking to her.
On bail for 3 months now.
I'm so worried the SS are now going to get an emergency hearing and stop me seeing my son because of he disgusting lies.
And this is going to massively effect the hearing in November
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Sorry to hear that you were arrested. This is par for the course for a lot of dads. The mum makes up false allegations to get the dad arrested and ultimately get legal aid for family court and try to prevent the dad from seeing the child.

Did you have a solicitor at the police station and what advice did they give you for the interview? I.e to give an account or go no comment?

Don’t be sorry for posting there are loads of people hear who are in a similar position or hear supporting family who are in a similar position.
 
damon said:
Sorry for just keep messaging on here.
Well had a shitty day.

I got arrested this morning the ex has accused me of rape and sexual abuse in the whole relationship.

They have said I can still pick my child up but no talking to her.
On bail for 3 months now.
I'm so worried the SS are now going to get an emergency hearing and stop me seeing my son because of he disgusting lies.
And this is going to massively effect the hearing in November
Click to expand...
Dude, sorry to hear this. I feel for you
 
I had a duty solicitor and he said to say the truth that a lot of women do this and she is most probably doing it to get the nmo or legal aid..
First time I've ever been arrested or anything was not a nice experience.

I said to the police.
She has a support worker, the social worker, been court twice, why has she never said anything before when asked about her concerns. why now and saying it's happened through out our whole relationship.

She put her non molestation application in and said to.the judge she needs 2 weeks to get the witnesses statement in.
Now I know why she said 2 weeks.
I did tell the police knew this was coming as she messaged me on 10th September saying she was going to get me done for sexual assault, my mum luckily enough also messaged the social worker straight away and told her.

I haven't and would never do such a thing to anybody, but just feel.this is going to mess everything up for.me
I feel like the SS will now go for an emergency hearing and stop me seeing my son and when I go court in November I will get nothing .

Would I be worth phoning the SS tomorrow and telling her what's happened?

I feel so deflated 😞 she is saying I'm the one with mental health problems, yet she doing this and she don't think it's going to effect our son .

Why
 
damon said:
I had a duty solicitor and he said to say the truth that a lot of women do this and she is most probably doing it to get the nmo or legal aid..
First time I've ever been arrested or anything was not a nice experience.

I said to the police.
She has a support worker, the social worker, been court twice, why has she never said anything before when asked about her concerns. why now and saying it's happened through out our whole relationship.

She put her non molestation application in and said to.the judge she needs 2 weeks to get the witnesses statement in.
Now I know why she said 2 weeks.
I did tell the police knew this was coming as she messaged me on 10th September saying she was going to get me done for sexual assault, my mum luckily enough also messaged the social worker straight away and told her.

I haven't and would never do such a thing to anybody, but just feel.this is going to mess everything up for.me
I feel like the SS will now go for an emergency hearing and stop me seeing my son and when I go court in November I will get nothing .

Would I be worth phoning the SS tomorrow and telling her what's happened?

I feel so deflated 😞 she is saying I'm the one with mental health problems, yet she doing this and she don't think it's going to effect our son .

Why
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You've answered your own question buddy. Legal aid, NMO application, SS involvement and to F**k with you. I'd also say some form of revenge for the other court case. Make sure you keep the message she sent too as I assume it may be of some use if she's already threatened you and now is with doing this.

No idea if its worth call SS tho

Stay strong brother
 
It's just so wrong that they can have so much power over the children,

I could understand if I was a crap dad, but I don't feel I am.

I guess this is going to be a long 3 month befor I find out what will happen.

Can she stop me seeing/ having contact with our son now?
 
damon said:
I had a duty solicitor and he said to say the truth that a lot of women do this and she is most probably doing it to get the nmo or legal aid..
First time I've ever been arrested or anything was not a nice experience.

I said to the police.
She has a support worker, the social worker, been court twice, why has she never said anything before when asked about her concerns. why now and saying it's happened through out our whole relationship.

She put her non molestation application in and said to.the judge she needs 2 weeks to get the witnesses statement in.
Now I know why she said 2 weeks.
I did tell the police knew this was coming as she messaged me on 10th September saying she was going to get me done for sexual assault, my mum luckily enough also messaged the social worker straight away and told her.

I haven't and would never do such a thing to anybody, but just feel.this is going to mess everything up for.me
I feel like the SS will now go for an emergency hearing and stop me seeing my son and when I go court in November I will get nothing .

Would I be worth phoning the SS tomorrow and telling her what's happened?

I feel so deflated 😞 she is saying I'm the one with mental health problems, yet she doing this and she don't think it's going to effect our son .

Why
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You'll need a solicitor...if they give her NMO then make sure you ask for "Cross-NMO" so that you can also use it for legal aid.

Here's a list of solicitors.
Solicitors in Devon
You can change the postcode and find the nearest one.
They all accept legal aid. Focus on these 3 points when talking to any solicitor.
1. You mentioned that you have dyslexia, which may be considered a disability. So you will need professional help and cannot litigate in person (LIP).
2. Your ex has been charged with ABH pending trial, which is considered domestic violence.
3. If you have a low income and no savings.

Maybe ask your mum to speak to solicitors on your behalf.

So the game is on now...welcome to the club.
Don't worry if you haven't done anything then you'll be fine, lying is a default mental state of most ex-wives.

All the best!
 
I give you my word I ain't done it .
I will to take a lie detector anything to prove it.

I have messaged a few solicitors and they all have say I can't get it as the police didn't use my statement in court for the Abh charge.
I explained I pulled out as she told me if I carry on I can't see our son.

I'm still going to phone around tomorrow, will she definitely get legal aid now?
And what do you think on the chance of the nmo order?

I'm not registered or anything as having dyslexia I just can't read or right very good at all .

Do you think this is going to effect the court case in November for the c2?
 
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