In January 2019, everything changed when I caught my wife cheating. The woman I once loved turned my life into a nightmare. She made it her mission to make my life as difficult as possible, doing everything in her power to alienate me from our children and the community. She spread lies, turned friends against me, and isolated me from the life I once knew. One evening, she even went so far as to cancel my car insurance, fully aware that I had the children the next day. It was a deliberate attempt to sabotage my ability to care for our kids, and it was just one of many underhanded tactics she used.
Despite her efforts, I was determined to stay in my children's lives. We initially tried to live together in the same house, but it quickly became unsustainable. She wanted me out, but I refused to leave my home and my children. The situation escalated; she tried to have me arrested on false charges and even attempted to sabotage my job. Her attempts failed, but the stress was relentless. In March 2019, the situation hit a breaking point when she was arrested for assaulting me. We both realized that we couldn’t continue living under the same roof, so we agreed to a 50/50 split in the care of our children—one week on, one week off.
Initially, this arrangement worked, but as we progressed further into the family court process, she began to backtrack. She no longer wanted to share custody equally and instead sought to be the primary carer, positioning herself to control not just the children but also my financial contributions. In December 2019, she took me to court, and it became clear that her motivations extended beyond the children—she was focused on the potential CMS payments and my pension.
The period between the first and final hearings was a living hell. Her solicitor unleashed a barrage of false allegations against me—claims of domestic abuse, alcoholism, and neglect of our children. Over 120 solicitor letters arrived over 18 months, each one more distressing than the last. The weight of these lies was crushing, and there were countless nights when I broke down, overwhelmed by the injustice of it all. I was drowning in the alienation she caused, but through it all, my children were my anchor. They were the light in the darkness, and I was determined to be the father they deserved, no matter the cost.
When the first hearing came around, I was on my own. I couldn’t afford a solicitor, while she had one of the best, bankrolled by her wealthy parents. I was terrified, but I knew I had to stand my ground. Thankfully, the judge maintained the status quo, keeping our 50/50 arrangement in place. This small victory enraged her. The false allegations intensified, but the more they threw at me, the more they revealed their desperation.
A Section 7 report was ordered, and CAFCASS became involved. The waiting was agonizing, but when the report finally arrived, it confirmed that the best arrangement was for our children to continue living with both of us on a week-on, week-off basis. My ex contested this, but the lies were starting to unravel.
As we neared the final hearing, we managed to sell the marital home—a process fraught with difficulty due to my ex’s refusal to cooperate. Finally, we both moved into our new homes, but the final hearing loomed like a dark cloud. The hearing was remote, due to COVID-19, and spanned two days. Her barrister was vicious, trying to break me with aggressive questioning. At one point, they questioned whether I loved my children—a moment that left me speechless until the judge intervened, deeming the line of questioning inappropriate.
Their last desperate move was to claim that I had moved too far from the children’s school, despite my new home being within the 40-minute limit set by CAFCASS. They even manipulated Google Maps to support their claim. Thankfully, I had kept logs proving my commute time was only 30 minutes, and their argument fell apart. They also tried to claim £12,000 in legal costs, but the judge denied this as well.
After two hours of deliberation, the judge returned with the verdict: 50/50 shared care, one week on, one week off. The relief I felt was overwhelming. I had fought so hard and finally won the right to continue being a father to my children. I broke down in tears of exhaustion and joy. The victory was bittersweet as I watched my ex’s face twist in anger and disbelief, her barrister sitting with a look of defeat.
When it came time to sort out our finances, I discovered just how much this battle had cost my ex and her parents. The legal fees they had racked up amounted to over £75,000—a staggering sum.
Despite all her efforts, she didn’t get what she wanted. She didn’t get my pension, and she didn’t get any CMS payments. She did receive a larger share of the house, but that was only because I was earning more at the time. In the end, we were granted a clean break order, which allowed us to finally move on.
Today, my children are thriving, doing well in school, and our relationship is stronger than ever. They are my world, and I am so grateful that I can be there for them every single day. My ex-wife, however, remains bitter. She refuses to talk to me, won’t communicate about the kids, and won’t even look me in the eye. It’s as if I committed some unspeakable crime against her during our marriage, but the truth is, all I ever did was stand up to her and her parents—people who were so desperate to win that they forgot what really mattered.
Through it all, my focus has always been on my children. They are my priority, and they always will be. I don’t care about my ex-wife’s bitterness or her refusal to communicate. As long as my kids are happy, safe, and loved, that’s all that matters to me.
The journey through family court was the hardest battle of my life. There were countless nights when I didn’t sleep, consumed by the fear of losing my children. But I knew I had to keep going, to keep fighting, because I believed in what I was doing. I believed in being a father to my children, and in the end, that belief saw me through.
If I could offer any advice to someone going through a similar situation, whether male or female, it would be this: Stay one step ahead of nasty, narcissistic people. Record everything, log everything, take pictures, and videos—document every interaction. They will try everything to make life hard for you, but don’t bite, don’t shout, stay calm. Narcissistic people are very clever, but if you stay one step ahead of them, they will eventually fall flat on their face.
My story is one of struggle, but also of hope and resilience. No matter how dark things seem, keep fighting for what’s right. For me, that was my children, and I would do it all over again if I had to.
Despite her efforts, I was determined to stay in my children's lives. We initially tried to live together in the same house, but it quickly became unsustainable. She wanted me out, but I refused to leave my home and my children. The situation escalated; she tried to have me arrested on false charges and even attempted to sabotage my job. Her attempts failed, but the stress was relentless. In March 2019, the situation hit a breaking point when she was arrested for assaulting me. We both realized that we couldn’t continue living under the same roof, so we agreed to a 50/50 split in the care of our children—one week on, one week off.
Initially, this arrangement worked, but as we progressed further into the family court process, she began to backtrack. She no longer wanted to share custody equally and instead sought to be the primary carer, positioning herself to control not just the children but also my financial contributions. In December 2019, she took me to court, and it became clear that her motivations extended beyond the children—she was focused on the potential CMS payments and my pension.
The period between the first and final hearings was a living hell. Her solicitor unleashed a barrage of false allegations against me—claims of domestic abuse, alcoholism, and neglect of our children. Over 120 solicitor letters arrived over 18 months, each one more distressing than the last. The weight of these lies was crushing, and there were countless nights when I broke down, overwhelmed by the injustice of it all. I was drowning in the alienation she caused, but through it all, my children were my anchor. They were the light in the darkness, and I was determined to be the father they deserved, no matter the cost.
When the first hearing came around, I was on my own. I couldn’t afford a solicitor, while she had one of the best, bankrolled by her wealthy parents. I was terrified, but I knew I had to stand my ground. Thankfully, the judge maintained the status quo, keeping our 50/50 arrangement in place. This small victory enraged her. The false allegations intensified, but the more they threw at me, the more they revealed their desperation.
A Section 7 report was ordered, and CAFCASS became involved. The waiting was agonizing, but when the report finally arrived, it confirmed that the best arrangement was for our children to continue living with both of us on a week-on, week-off basis. My ex contested this, but the lies were starting to unravel.
As we neared the final hearing, we managed to sell the marital home—a process fraught with difficulty due to my ex’s refusal to cooperate. Finally, we both moved into our new homes, but the final hearing loomed like a dark cloud. The hearing was remote, due to COVID-19, and spanned two days. Her barrister was vicious, trying to break me with aggressive questioning. At one point, they questioned whether I loved my children—a moment that left me speechless until the judge intervened, deeming the line of questioning inappropriate.
Their last desperate move was to claim that I had moved too far from the children’s school, despite my new home being within the 40-minute limit set by CAFCASS. They even manipulated Google Maps to support their claim. Thankfully, I had kept logs proving my commute time was only 30 minutes, and their argument fell apart. They also tried to claim £12,000 in legal costs, but the judge denied this as well.
After two hours of deliberation, the judge returned with the verdict: 50/50 shared care, one week on, one week off. The relief I felt was overwhelming. I had fought so hard and finally won the right to continue being a father to my children. I broke down in tears of exhaustion and joy. The victory was bittersweet as I watched my ex’s face twist in anger and disbelief, her barrister sitting with a look of defeat.
When it came time to sort out our finances, I discovered just how much this battle had cost my ex and her parents. The legal fees they had racked up amounted to over £75,000—a staggering sum.
Despite all her efforts, she didn’t get what she wanted. She didn’t get my pension, and she didn’t get any CMS payments. She did receive a larger share of the house, but that was only because I was earning more at the time. In the end, we were granted a clean break order, which allowed us to finally move on.
Today, my children are thriving, doing well in school, and our relationship is stronger than ever. They are my world, and I am so grateful that I can be there for them every single day. My ex-wife, however, remains bitter. She refuses to talk to me, won’t communicate about the kids, and won’t even look me in the eye. It’s as if I committed some unspeakable crime against her during our marriage, but the truth is, all I ever did was stand up to her and her parents—people who were so desperate to win that they forgot what really mattered.
Through it all, my focus has always been on my children. They are my priority, and they always will be. I don’t care about my ex-wife’s bitterness or her refusal to communicate. As long as my kids are happy, safe, and loved, that’s all that matters to me.
The journey through family court was the hardest battle of my life. There were countless nights when I didn’t sleep, consumed by the fear of losing my children. But I knew I had to keep going, to keep fighting, because I believed in what I was doing. I believed in being a father to my children, and in the end, that belief saw me through.
If I could offer any advice to someone going through a similar situation, whether male or female, it would be this: Stay one step ahead of nasty, narcissistic people. Record everything, log everything, take pictures, and videos—document every interaction. They will try everything to make life hard for you, but don’t bite, don’t shout, stay calm. Narcissistic people are very clever, but if you stay one step ahead of them, they will eventually fall flat on their face.
My story is one of struggle, but also of hope and resilience. No matter how dark things seem, keep fighting for what’s right. For me, that was my children, and I would do it all over again if I had to.
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