Final Hearing tomorrow..

Hello Dads,

I haven't posted on this forum for a while (although the incredible @Ash and I have stayed in touch through DM's) but tomorrow I'm in court for my Final Hearing to Vary our existing Child Arrangements Order.

Brief overview;

2022, May - Ex and I split because I refused to have another child (our daughter was 2.5yrs old at the time and Ex and I both in our late 40's)

2022, July - I applied for a CAO as Ex would not agree to any overnights. She then started the false allegations of Domestic Violence

2023, March - Court awarded me Tuesday teatimes (3-7pm), every other weekend (Fri PM-Mon AM) and half "school" holidays

2023, November - With the exception of a few teatimes 'cancelled' due to illness, Ex had complied with order but had secretly instigated a Social Services Assesment

2024, January - I am completely exonerated in the findings of the SS Assessment

2024, May - I apply to Vary our existing CAO, asking for 50/50 but with the expectation it'll be whittled down to (hopefully) just get my Tues teatimes turned into overnights

2024, May - Ex cross applies with an SIO to have our daughter's surname double barrelled (at the moment it's just mine). We were never married

2024, September - at the First Directions hearing I offer Ex up the surname in exchange for the midweek overnight, she declines

2024, October - my Ex claims our daughter is a victim of DV by way of being present in an abusive relationship (all false)

2024, Nov - we are in court tomorrow for a Final Hearing and magistrates will decide the surname and midweek overnights

So.. as many of you who have been through this process before know; it's the night before the final hearing and I'm freaking out a bit!

Any kinds words or advice would be most appreciated!

I’ll keep fingers crossed for 50/50 and a lives with both parents order.
remember to breathe, listen to what’s asked, respond only to that and suppress all emotion and reaction. It’s tough, but not your first rodeo

Good luck

Captain27 said:

I’ll keep fingers crossed for 50/50 and a lives with both parents order.
remember to breathe, listen to what’s asked, respond only to that and suppress all emotion and reaction. It’s tough, but not your first rodeo

Good luck

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Thanks! @Captain27

Good luck tomorrow

Good luck

Hope it goes well for you.

Good luck!

Good Luck !

Thanks Guys!
@JC83
@bujanin
@mva
@Ash

Good luck pal. Go out and nail it! No fear.

Good luck.

Hope it goes well buddy

All the very best mate

Good luck mate!

Fingers crossed for you

Update - magistrates found in my favour!

Tuesday teatimes now to become overnights (so 9/5 split fortnight with Ex)!!

Surname to stay the same!!!

SHARED LIVES WITH ORDER!!!!

Ex was visibly crushed - when she came out from behind her screen which she'd asked for due to (false) DV allegations, I actually felt a little bit sorry for her.

Thank you so much to the incredible @Ash for his patience and guidance.

And all the other Dads on here who messaged support.

Great stuff. When you have had a chance to take it all in and celebrate, I'd be interested to know how you argued the name change in your favour.

Brilliant. It's great to have some good news!

DannyK said:

Ex was visibly crushed - when she came out from behind her screen which she'd asked for due to (false) DV allegations, I actually felt a little bit sorry for her

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Let this feeling pass. She made false allegations against you. You can't forget someone putting you through that.

Wow that is really great news. I'm very happy for you. Surprised they didn't give her the surname change - but in view of her hostilities they probably agreed that if she had that, she would drop your surname and cause trouble.

The best bit about this (apart from your midweek overnights of course) is that your ex has now found that by making false allegations, she lost sole residency, so she might stop doing that now The other best thing is that this lives with both order, protects you more in future with various authorities as well as the courts - and gives more equality so she can't keep pulling rank.

I take it your barrister did a good job too