if you don’t mind me asking, you having a section 7 report carried out because of it?
I’m not sure how to address the accusations other than just say that I deny them and I don’t know why she would want to make such things up
I know the general advise for S7 visits is to keep it child-centric and not discuss your ex partner, but I’m not sure how to do this when there’s accusations like this being made. Surely I have to address them?
Hi, I understand your concern. Within private law, following an allegation from the mother, I would be completing local authority checks. This means I would ask children's services in areas that you and your daughters mum have ever lived whether they hold any information regarding safeguarding concerns. If the allegations have been put before the court, I would be requesting the court make an order for a police disclosure.
If your daughters mum has only raised this during the court process, I would be asking her for the evidence. If she is alledging all of these things where is the evidence.
If she continued to raise allegations throughout the proceedings without evidence, I would be concerned regarding her engaging in parental alienation and that would go in my report.
You have said your daughter is 5 years old. If when I met with her alone at school, she told me things that you said have been alleged to have done, I would have the following concerns for the reasons:
If your daughter corroborated what mum has said (this is not taken on face value). Then it is likely that there is some concern. Yes, parents will make children tell lies. At 5 years old, your daughter will not be a proficient liar. Not when discussing details. She might say dad hits mum, dad shouts at mum, because this is what she has been told to say. When getting to the nuts and bolts of the incident(s) that's when you can establish whether something has or hasn't likely to have happened.
If it is the former and there has been domestic abuse it doesn't mean contact would for certainly be denied, it is about assessing risk and whether risk can be managed.
Let me give you an example. I worked with a family and the father was a heroin addict. Most people will say he shouldn't be round kids and dad needs to be out of the house. What if I told you that whn he used heroin he did it at his brothers flat. Does that make a difference.
For me it does. What is the risk to the child if dad is shooting up at his brothers flat. Absolutely none from that action alone.
The other side of the argument for your proceedings is that if the mother is telling the daughter to say these things, I would need to consider the impact on the child. I am certain if a 5 year old was told dad is an extremist Muslim, she wouldn't have a clue what it meant and it would be harmful but wouldn't constitute significant harm.
If your mother's daughter is telling your daughter, daddy hit me, daddy pulled my hair, he is a nasty man etc, I would consider this to be significant harm. The category would be emotional harm.
To summarise. If I was assessing your family, without evidence, how can something be relied on. She could tell me you are an axe murderer or an alien. Without evidence it doesn't mean nothing.
Hope this helps.
